Thursday, December 29, 2011

Monday, December 26, 2011

P-F11: 2011 Bowl Pick'em Challenge - Open Post, Pt 1


12/18/11 10:52 AM Update: Bowl season has officially started. Check back to this post as the bowl season unfolds for league and game results. When navigating the post gets a little unruly, I'll start a new one. We usually end up with about 3 of these.

It's the beginning of the end, and bowl season has begun with some major excitement.

The bowl card is a beast... click the picture to bring up a larger version.

Click to enlarge. Last updated 12/31/11 12:27 AM 

Bowl Games 1-3 of 35
New Mexico Bowl - Albuquerque, NM -  University Stadium
December 17, 2011 1:00 PM
Temple Owls 37, Wyoming Cowboys 15

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Boise, ID - Bronco Stadium
December 17, 2011 4:30 PM
Ohio Bobcats 24, Utah State Aggies 23

New Orleans Bowl - New Orleans, LA - Superdome
December 17, 2011 8:00 PM
San Diego State Aztecs 30, Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin Cajuns 32

What I learned after these games... Just like the first week of college football, the mere presence of amateur football on the tele trumps quality games. Bowl season is awesome y'all. And a playoff wouldn't work because the kids have finals. What's that? Basketball plays through finals? Well that's only like 15 kids. Wait, what? The other college football divisions have a playoff? I don't understand what I'm trying to tell myself here. Moving on.

Thanks to the New Mexico Bowl, we got to see Temple won its first bowl game since 1979. We also got that Nelly video like 10 or 20 too many times. Seriously, I didn't know Nelly was still relevant.

The Potato Bowl seemed interesting, but the ref really screwed up the ending (and my pick, you b@stard). You can watch someone's terrible home movie of the ending if Blair Witch Project football viewing while cooking a TV dinner in the background is your thing.

A six-ton potato. You don't get that in the playoffs.
By the last game of the evening, I had a Rusty Whitt. I took two aspirin and went to bed.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after these games... Smokey's Bandits (KH) and Team Awesome jump out to an early lead. Smoke cashed in his top two most confident games, but missed a third. Team Awesome went 3 for 3 on the first day for his share of the lead. I try to also keep track of a (mostly meaningless) stat of who would win if they got all the rest of their picks right. At the moment, 1 Man Wolfpack (MF) wears that mythical crown.

Bowl Game 4 of 35
Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl - St. Petersburg, FL - Tropicana Field
December 20, 2011 7:00 PM
Florida International Golden Panthers 10, Marshall Thundering Herd 20

What I learned after this game... Oh yeah, if I had a Beef 'O' Brady nearby, I probably still wouldn't go. Also, FIU went scoreless for the entire 2nd half. Nice one.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after this game... In a confidence pool, sometimes you may want to lose a pick. For example, when you wagered less points than someone with more points than you have. This game and the next are good examples of this concept. With an FIU loss, most of us gained some ground on co-leader Mr. Smokeypants (he wagered 30, many had it 10 or under). College football picking guru Chumlee's Banditos (KP) actually picked Marshall and now holds the lead. Northmen (ANo) is in the mythical mathematical lead.

Bowl Game 5 of 35
Poinsettia Bowl - San Diego, CA - Qualcomm Stadium
December 21, 2011 7:00 PM
#16 TCU Horned Frogs 31, Louisiana Tech Bulldogs 24

What I learned after this game... Poinsettia Bowl drew the smallest crowd in its 7-year history: 24,607. TCU (and their -lack of- fans) really didn't want to be there. But at least every game in the regular season is important!! Broken record, I know. If there was something interesting about this bowl, then you guys will have to tell me. I was busy catching up on shows from my TiVo.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after this game... Not much of a change from yesterday. Chumlee is still winning and Northmen has the mythical mathematical lead. Those two will keep this distinction tomorrow too, no matter who wins the MAACO Bowl.

Bowl Games 6-7 of 35
MAACO Bowl - Las Vegas, NV - Sam Boyd Stadium
December 22, 2011 7:00 PM
Arizona State Sun Devils 24, #8 Boise State Broncos 56

Hawaii Bowl - Honolulu - Aloha Stadium
December 24, 2011 7:00 PM
Nevada Wolf Pack 31, #22 Southern Miss Golden Eagles 24
Pew Pew Pew

What I learned after these games... Kellen Moore looks like the real freaking deal. Boise State puts another "W" up to go along with Boise's winningest four-year steak in FBS history. I missed the Hawaii Bowl, but that is because I wasn't at my house and it was up against "White Christmas." wtf?

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after these games... Nothing changed after the MAACO bowl, but the Hawai'i Bowl shook the standings like a bowl full of jelly or something. Mr. Smokeypants (KH) continued his early bowl season super confidence and impressive accuracy by laying 31 on any team that could beat the University of Houston. Chumlee's Banditos was one of only 2 pickers to go with Nevada. The game stats tell me that Nevada couldn't score in the 4th keep Chumlee's NCAA magical streak alive. Northmen (ANo) still has our mythical mathematical lead. However, this stat is becoming more impressive as the bowl season unfolds. She has only missed two picks, but only surrendered a total of 4 points.

CHRISTMAS BRAWL!! (And two "fisticuffs" mentions within a 30-second span.)

Bowl Games 8 of 35
Independence Bowl - Shreveport, LA - Independence Stadium
December 26, 2011 4:00 PM
North Carolina Tar Heels 24, Missouri Tigers41

What I learned after this game... The Missouri mascot, Truman the Tiger, broke the trophy!

In other news... Yep, Mizzou is ready for the SEC. And, UNC is ready for some NCAA sanctions and bowl bans.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after this game... Team Awesome (SE) is now in the lead and has a chance to keep it for a while with some correct picks. Northmen got another pick correct, and still holds the mythical mathematical lead.

Bowl Games 9-10 of 35
Little Caesars Pizza Bowl - Detroit, MI - Ford Field
December 27, 2011 3:30 PM
Western Michigan Broncos 32, Purdue Boilermakers 37

Belk Bowl - Charlotte, NC - Bank of America Stadium
December 27, 2011 7:00 PM
Louisville Cardinals 24, North Carolina State Wolfpack 31

What I learned after these games... First, it was time for some MACtion! And Purdue. This was a pretty entertaining game, but I don't have anything more interesting to write than "time for some MACtion!" The Little Caesars Pizza Bowl logo is pretty cool too.

Louisville's QB is named Teddy Bridgewater. What an awesome name. Louisville may have lost, but Teddy Bridewater is a winner. But seriously, in the Belk Bowl I saw David Amerson for the first time. This dude finished the season with 13 interceptions, which leads the FBS by the way. #2 on the INT list has 7. Yeah and also seriously, Teddy Bridgewater.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after these games... If I told you that Chumlee's Banditos were leading and Northmen had a mathematical advantage, would that surprise you?

Bowl Game 11 of 35
Military Bowl - Washington D.C. - RFK Memorial Stadium
December 28, 2011 3:30 PM
Toledo Rockets 42, Air Force Falcons 41

What I learned after this game... Toledo opens fire. Falcons strike. Halftime scoreboard update: Mushrooms clouds. All out assault. It's a battlefield. Get it? Because it is the Miliary Bowl? I read all these off the internets. (Toledo opening fire on the Air Force is probably a little inappropriate though.)

There was a lot of scoring, Air Force scored a TD to tie up the game with under a minute to go, but they go for two, and they fumble, and the Holiday Bowl coverage gets to start on time. The End.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after this game... No change here, guys.

Bowl Game 12 of 35
Holiday Bowl - San Diego, CA - Qualcomm Stadium
December 28, 2011 7:00 PM
California Golden Bears 10, Texas Longhorns 21

What I learned after this game... Double Manny Diaz's salary.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after this game... Team Awesome (SE) is back on top y'all. Northmen still winnin' y'all.

Bowl Games 13-14 of 35
Champs Sports Bowl - Orlando, FL - Florida Citrus Bowl Stadium
December 29, 2011 4:30 PM
#25 Florida State Seminoles 18, Notre Dame Fighting Irish 14

Alamo Bowl - San Antonio, TX - Alamodome
December 29, 2011 8:00 PM
Washington Huskies 56, #15  Baylor Bears 67

What I learned after these games... Does anybody *really* remember when Notre Dame actually won bowl games on a consistent basis? I don't.

This happened though, which was pretty awesome:

Things I read during the Baylor game:
- Valero Alamo Bowl. Defense as shoddy as actual Alamo.
- Baylor defensive player. #thingsIcouldbe
- Good thing neither of these teams have a pushup per point mascot. #musclefatigue
- Outscoring a Baylor/Washington basketball matchup
- Both defensive coordinators are already at the hotel bar.

Baylor hadn't had a bowl win in 19 years, so why wouldn't their offense and defense do their best to break the all time bowl scoring record? Below is every single score (courtesy of Deadspin). That's all 123 points, y'all.

Other goodies...
From SBNation: "PHOTO: Sad Baylor Fan Can't Bear To Life His Swollen Hand"

...which makes it worth it to post this unrelated (but sooo related) one too.
What the Bowl Challenge points look like after these games... Chumlee's Banditos (KP) retakes the lead. Northmen sits tight, but the mathematical lead is getting slimmer.

Bowl Games 15-18 of 35
Armed Forces Bowl - Dallas, TX - Gerald J. Ford Stadium
December 30, 2011 11:00 AM
Brigham Young Cougars 24, Tulsa Golden Hurricane 21

Pinstripe Bowl - Bronx, NY - Yankee Stadium
December 30, 2011 2:20 PM
Iowa State Cyclones 13, Rutgers Scarlet Knights 27

Music City Bowl - Nashville, TN - LP Field
December 30, 2011 5:40 PM
Mississippi State Bulldogs 23, Wake Forest Demon Deacons 17

Insight Bowl - Tempe, AZ - Sun Devil Stadium
December 30, 2011 9:00 PM
Iowa Hawkeyes 14, Oklahoma Sooners 31

What I learned after these games... Nothing happened today that was as great as ESPN's overhead camera falling at the Insight Bowl.

What the Bowl Challenge points look like after these games... KP. ANo. Goodnight.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

P-F11: Week 17 NFL Results

post last updated 12/27/11 12:59 AM 2011 Week 17 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Only 1 more week after this one... Bevo XIV (DW) made a pretty big move toward the money spots this week. Seven of you probably have a legit shot at the Top Two.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

P-F11: Week 16 Results

last updated 12/21/11 8:47 PM

"Perfect and wholly imperfect seasons come to an end Sunday in the NFL when the Chiefs beat the previously unbeaten Packers 19-14 and the Colts win their first by beating the Titans 27-13." - CBS Sports

For you guys, that means it's time to check back in on the Week 15 NFL Bonus question:
Q: What week will Indy finally get that first win?
A: W15 @ Tennessee
Correct Answers: ANo, DCo, SS (+8 pts) 2011 Week 16 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Bonus Question:
The Bradys -6.5
The Tebows +6.5
Final Score 41-23, Bradys.
Winners: KW, DW, RK, KSc, JH, CCo, Lo, A-C, DD, CG, ANe, MF, D2, AP, KP (+3 Bonus Points)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

P-F11: From the Bonus Point Basement - Week 4 - Landscaping College Football

h/t to Mr. Smokeypants for reminding me of this bonus question. I can't believe I let this one slip. This may be some of the best collective open-ended-bonus-question-answers evah.

(From Week 4) OK. I'm ready. Give it to me. What do you want to happen to the landscape of college football?

Viva la Revolution! - GN
Northmen (ANo): I like the super conference situation. I think that would be fun. Play-offs!!
Blow it up! +4

The Yeasty Beasties (KW): F*&^ the BCS, let's see a friggin' playoff system already. Break up all the Division I schools into.....divisions......and compete within your division but also have two traditional 'rivalry' games (such as Texas vs. A&M and Texas vs. OU). These 'rivalry' games will kind of be like inter-league games. But shake up the divisions every five years or so, similar to the NCAA basketball tournament bracket system. When the 'rivals' are in the same division then that just opens up the two extra games to some other great game (ie. If Texas/A&M/Blow-U were all in the same division, Texas could play Alabama and Oregon State for their two 'rivalry' games). This system would be complicated, but screw it, the BCS rating system is complicated too, but the BCS sucks and my idea is totally rad.
What do the Aggies care about traditional rivalries? +5

Bevo XIV (DW): SWC reformed but add UTEP, Raycom game of the week, low def games. Or Longhorn network shows all games not picked up by 1st tier (i.e., it becomes 2nd tier). Although watching A&M go to the SEC and be perma-2and6 is going to be fun.
Low def. Heh. +5

Mr. Smokeypants (KH): Human Centipede of Garrett Gilbert-Chris Simms-Greg Davis
Haha! I'm assuming Gilbert is the head and Davis is the tail? +4

Mad Bomber (KZ): Well, I would have liked it to stay the way it was. but if things have to change I would rather see some power houses like ut and ou come to the sec. if everyone wants a super conference send the best teams to the best conference.
Like Vanderbilt? *smirk* +4

Chicainery (CCa): Players should not be so restricted by the NCAA in their ability to make money while they are still in college. The biggest schools rake in the cash while taking advantage of these kids. The hypocrisy is ridiculous. And no, a scholarship is not full compensation - it doesn't cover living expenses.
Assuming paying them is not a viable answer for 85% of Div 1 schools, maybe if there were no age restrictions in the pros, then maybe the players could choose between being an amateur and being pro... You know what, let's table this and figure this out tomorrow. +4

Large Donkey IPA (KSc): Erin Andrews uncensored Large Donkey IPA commercials and as if that isn't enough we should just have an SEC tournament at the end of the year to crown the national champion, no one else wins anyway. Maybe the cowboys and jaguars could join the SEC.
Like. +5

Kentucky Wildmen (GF): What I want to happen. I don't have to do sh!t. UT is doing well enough alone. All I have to do is set back with my SEC buds and smile. Sweet!!!! S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C
Why is it so great when your conference mates win? I'll never understand this. +4

Bob and Gary Destroyers (JH): The Big 12 stays intact with UT giving up a portion of its earnings from the LHN to keep OU and A&M happy. We stay a 10 team conference.
Trrble idea - Charles Barkley +4

Beelzebubbles (CCo): As we have reached days of 100+ temps here in Houston, I am certain that the landscapers at each of the schools has made a priority of watering the fields that require it. I would like to see the landscaping go back to a simple green with white lines. While Boise State blue is quite lovely its too distracting to me. So yes, back to the simplicity ...and by all means I am not making a drug reference .
Ahhh. I get it. +4

WhooDat4Life (Lo): Paid players so the SEC cant dominate recruiting anymore
But are we *sure* that SEC teams cheat? Jury is still out, I think. +4

Topo Chicas (A-C): Shut up and play!
Most of the complainers are people not playing. +4

Devil Dawgs (DD): What I want, like EVERYONE else who's watched even one post-season NCAA football game, is a gawd damn play-off system. Instead what I've got is a room full of coaches, writers, and programmers imitating a monkey screwing a football.

The university presidents are such colossal pussies that they won't even consider a play-off system, but they'll let one little ol' TV network implode every conference at once and that's somehow less risk to your pot of gold than a tournament.

BIG 12 - So the Ags, Huskers and Buffalo got scared cause they thought they were gonna get left out in the cold. So now they'll get slapped around by some OTHER conference's top and middle tier teams. Except Colorado, they go down for everyone. Turn the damn page, get some fresh blood and get back to talking about football.

PAC 12 - You're stupid. You could have had Texas and Oklahoma, but you opted out because you couldn't operate a calculator and make a deal.

Big East - You suck. Add some teams. Lose some teams. It doesn't matter. You'll still suck.

ACC - You cheat and you suck. Just let UConn in already. At least then you'll be smarter so you can probably cheat better even if you'll still suck.

SEC - You just cheat. But have fun kicking Mizzou and the Ags. We did.

I said the max points were 5, but this is getting a 7.

13 National Championships (CG): Start paying these fuckers. Get a playoff system in place and quit acting like these are kids playing the game anymore. The Junior NFL.
Is there anything more disingenuous than the NCAA and school presidents pretending that they are looking out for the kids welfare. +4

Pimp Posse (JB): Playoffs.
Playoffs? +4

Booyah! (MN): Who cares. Just play football.
I care about football. +4

Naked Bootleggers (JN): I would like to see conferences stay regional to help preserve some of the traditional rivalries and pageantry that has made college football the greatest sporting experience there is.

But if some of the pansies, TAMU, need to run to another garden, I mean conference, aspiring to become a better smelling flower then so be it. The SEC is full of weeds and rocks just waiting to choke out pansies.

I see what you did there. +5

SEC Rejects (ANe): Have the government takeover the NCAA football programs, turn all coaches into federal employees to level their pay, and take the billions of dollars left over to apply to the federal budget. Then dissolve all conferences and devise a 128 team, season long, triple elimination tournament!
This is only a short term solution as the budget surplus would quickly be noticed and then spent on a race to get America to be the first country to play a college football game in space - which would be pitched and sold to the American public as a method of jump-starting the economy. The game, obviously, would be shown on the ESPN ran Longhorn Network.
Another +7 answer.

1 Man Wolfpack (MF): I would really like to see the conferences stick around they way they are set up now, rivalries need to stay in place, geography should still be a factor, but they definitely need to develop a better postseason, some sort of tourney set up. Also, lets be real, college football is big business and as a former player myself, i know these guys don't have shit for money unless they're scamming some sort of pale grant or have rich parents, they're fucked for money. They need to start giving more back to the players. Could you imagine the social scene on campus? They deserve it. Anyway, that last part will never happen but we definitely need a playoff.
Agreed. +5

Team Awesome (SE): I want there to be a playoff system no bcs anymore
I thought you said bs for a second there. +4

Rose Ate It (SS): Short grass, good chalk lines.
Tight. +4

Roughnecks (CW): 3 things to talk about here: 1. The BCS, 2. Playoffs, 3. Crap bowl games.

There needs to be a 16 seed playoff system put into place How are the seeded you ask? Simple - the top 16 teams according to the BCS polls.

Where are the early rounds played? Simple - The non BCS bowl games will host playoff games. No longer will bowl games have any conference affiliation. Whoever is seeded for that game plays at that site. They can be anywhere from the Cotton Bowl, to the Gator Bowl, Holiday Bowl, Liberty, etc. the Semifinal Games and the final game will be held in the BCS bowls.

What about the remaining bowl games. Simple - Ditch 'Em. Who cares about the Humanitarian Bowl, or the Bowl game?

All this can take place right after the regular season and prevent any lapse in time between the end of the regular season and bowl season.

Sounds simple to me. +5

Hellfish (KSh): I want there to be one supreme conference, with one leader...and that man is SirRon...aka The Commish....aka Beer Whore. Out.
I like this answer. Just sayin'. +5

Throwin' Darts (MM)
: It looks like the only landscape that is changing right now is the Big XII. At least as far as the major conferences and who cares about the rest anyway? Are you really laying awake at night trying to figure out where Louisville might end up? I called my buddy Gilligan to ask him what he thought. He sent me this text back

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of bumbling fools
That started in the Midwest
With 9 presidents and 1 tool.

Now Deloss was a very important man,
Just ask him, he’ll agree
Gonna start his own damn network
‘LHN is my legacy’

The conference started getting pissed,
The Aggies had been crossed,
If anybody wanted the Sooners
The conference would be lost, the conference would be lost.

The Big XII set ground on the shore of this uncharted heaping pile
With Texas
The Sooners too,
The Raiders and the Bears,
The Mizzou Tigers
And the rest,
Here on Deloss’s Pile.

Such is life in the Bovine 9 Conference!

Gilligan has a cell phone. +7

Dirt Burglers (D2)

1. aTm goes off to the SEC and after ten years of being the SEC's bitch, they come back to texas asking to join whatever conference they belong to.

2. The Mountain West and WAC are like the couple that never really stay broken up. They get together, they break up, they get horny and decide to give it another try.

3. The Big East is like the easy, drunk girl at the bar. The conferences sweep in at closing time, have their way, take what they want, then kick her out while making her pay for her own cab ride home.

4. The ACC is that asshole that comes in at closing time, gets the good teams that he wants, then kicks her to the curb making her buy cab back home.

5. The big ten will always be the same. They keep on asking the prom queen out, but she always says no.

6. The big 12: The schools are learning to sleep with one eye open because they don't know who will stab them in the back next. After the big 12 realizes that not even the big east teams want to join the conference they send out invites to Allen, Trinity, DeSoto and Union high schools.

7. The PAC 12 are the girls from Mean Girls. The girls that are too good for everyone else. For their shits and grins, they lead a couple of girls along, thinking that they're going to join the "COOL" girls at lunch. They then haze the girls and tell them that they were joking while they get bitch slapped all the way back to OK.

8. Texas: What can I say about texas other than EVERYONE HATES TEXAS!

9. The SEC cause the entire system to come crashing down. Everyone is so good that a 3-loss team ends up winning the national championship, which is a rematch of the SEC championship. The undefeated boise st. gets pissed off because they are the bridesmaid, again. They and a couple of other schools that never even have a chance in hell to go the BCS get congress enact anti-trust measures against the NCAA. The system falls apart since its now illegal to have a national championship. On the bright side, everyone now gets the same participation trophies!

Okies love Texas. +7

Above Average Joe (JG): Replace all the AstroTurf in the stadiums with real grass. After that landscaping project, I would like the NCAA to let teams have ONE year to get their conferences together, then lock them for 10 years.
I wish Mizzou had done that last year. Not the conference part... no one really cares what conference Mizzou is in. +5

Gig'em Baby (AP): A&M leaves the Big 12 with the National Championship trophy. OU and OSU head to the Pac 12. TU is independent with their Longhorn Network that only a few people can tune into.
haaaaaaaaahahahahahahhaahaha. Haaaaaaaahahahahahaaha. +5

Chumlee's Banditos (KP): Pay the players something so they don't feel used. Improve the quality of football at other conferences so they are at least some what comparable in quality to the SEC.
Maybe other conferences should be mandated to chant their conference name wins. +4

P-F11: Week 15 NFL Results

updated 12/13/11 8:24 PM

In the battle of the Baltimores, can the win-less Colts beat their replacement team? Uh no. 2011 Week 15 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sunday, December 4, 2011

P-F11: From the Bonus Point Basement - Week 9 - Failed Chumlee's Banditos Jinxes

Failed because he won. OK, failed because maybe I forgot to publish these. Let's see what we got here.


Northmen (ANo):
Announcer: this guy is perfect never misses a pick! Here he goes with his Week 9 try...
Fan: awwwwwwww
Announcer: OH MY Goodness! He missed, I caant't believe he missed, Chumlee is no longer perfect!
I don't know why this didn't work. +5

Ferments-A-Lot (GN):
I've done my part. This always works.
Damnit, it didn't. +2

The Yeasty Beasties (KW):
Fee Phi Pho Fum, Bella and Edward are having a baby, give me a fcking break.
You know you saw it. +4

Bevo XIV (DW):
It's the law of averages, his picks will normalize to 50%.  So going forward he should pick the opposite of what his real belief is. Or, only switch on games he's 50/50 on.  Or maybe the luck is really bad, pick only the games you're most sure about.  Just think about it next time you pick.
I really should have posted this one. DAMNIT! +5

Mr. Smokeypants (KH):
Send him to Dr. Morgus!
Dude, the sh!t that is in your brain. +4

BlitzKrieg (RK):
Good job, Chum.
Kill him with kindness. +3

Chicainery (CCa):
Jinxes are powerless to stop one with such powers.  I say congratulations to the Banditos, you've clearly wrapped this season up and the rest of us are playing out the string for 2nd place.
I see what you did there. +4

Large Donkey IPA (KSc):
I think Chumlee might go 100% the rest of the way. He is just that good.
Classic jinx. +4

Bob and Gary Destroyers (JH):
Chumlee, I hope your game picking goes the way of Terrell Owens' career.
Chumlee has two hundred reasons why he won't be jinxed. +3

Beelzebubbles (CCo):
Booley booley junta jinga cluck cluck. Eesh née née neesh, ash nee neckkk noooooo. Cluck cluck bey kong waaaaa noch. Vlaaaaaaaaaa hya.
Que? +4

Topo Chicas (A-C):
Rangers win!
Hrrmm. +3

Devil Dawgs (DD):
i have no clue what you're talking about but i have no doubt that it's completely insane and must be stopped.  we should get the people out and start a movement.  occupy chumlee. we are the 99. fight the power. arrrrrrrrgh.
Like. +5

13 National Championships (CG):
Gree-gree mother f**cker...
Yeah. +3

Pimp Posse (JB):
Gris Gris Chumlee.
Two of you guys in a row with the voodoo. Like the rhyme. +4

Naked Bootleggers (JN):
Someone call the Famous Chicken to give him the "Chicken Zap"
Yeah! No. +4

SEC Rejects (ANe):
This is your National Title YEAR! All you have to do is  show up and play.  Don't even worry about that Tech game, you are invincible at home.
Haha. +4

1 Man Wolfpack (MF):
Chumlee and I are playing golf, this is our conversation heading into 18...
"do you know you have 3 birdies in a row and if you par this last hole you'll shoot a 37 on the back"
that outta jinx him.
Don't know why that didn't work. +4

Rose Ate It (SS):
Rangers' hex!
2nd Ranger hex. +3

Hellfish (KSh):
Two words: voo doo
Big fan of the "two words" that aren't two words. +4

Dirt Burglars (D2):
Curse of the Sports Illustrated Cover.  I will email the photo.
I wish I could give you more than 5 points. This is worth 5x that.

Gig'em Baby (AP):
Chumlee's Banditos is just too damn good. No jinx can stop him. I'm sure he'll get at least 10 of the 15 right this week...just like he does every week ;)
The emoticon probably undid the jinx. +4

...and the jinxee...

Chumlee's Banditos (KP):
You know the sad part of this whole thing is that I haven't watched an entire college football game all season and I am doing better in these picks than my other pro pick 'em leagues.

I guess a good jinx is to have me keep changing my scorecard every day and second guess myself....worked really well last week. =)
How does that taste, pickers? +5

P-F11: From the Bonus Point Basement - Week 13 - Best Rivalry of the Week

The worldwide leader brands every week of college football now, which is smart because it makes it mean more. Just kidding, the bowl system makes each week mean more. Just kidding Pickem makes each week mean more. Just kidding... it's beer.

The Pharcyde - Ya Mama

I asked you guys in Week 13 to weigh in on the best rivalry of Rivarly Week 2011, Part 3. You answered with some stuff.

Sometimes history doesn't mean jack sh!t, right aggies? Like, despite Texas dominating the competition historically and already having a more hated rival that they play every October, many of you chose the Lone Star Showdown as the best rivalry. Reasons included "because it is finally over" (ANo, +3) "...until at least 2018" (JH, +3). I'll admit there is a little hate, no matter who started it, and some of you agree: "Are you really asking me this question? Longhorns/Faggies" (MN, +3). Even non-affiliated Texan-ish Beantown residents weighed in: "I enjoy two pathetic souls fighting it out" (KSh, +3). Touche. We do have two aggies in the league, one didn't pick, but I'm pretty sure their fish camp programming would have compelled their fingers to type exact same message: "A&M/t.u. - end of an era. I hope it's a good game. Gig'em Baby!" (AP, +3). It was. It was a good game.

If there was a game that Texas/Texas A&M rivalry enthusiasts should be jealous of, it's the Iron Bowl. "There's a lot of hate between those guys" (Lo, +3). "People kill trees and stuff out of spite" (DW, +4).  I liked Beelebubbles answer, even if it had a little crazy sauce sprinkled on top: "Considering allllllllllllll of my money is headed to Tuscaloosa for the next few years, I'm going to have to positively say The Alabama Auburn game! I say Bama now, and I greet people with Roll Happy thanksgiving roll tide!!!" (CCo, +4). If 13 National Championships hadn't picked Bama, then I would have called the authorities and reported him missing: "BAMA v AUBURN, obviously. A&M is the little bitch of the Horns, that's not even a rivalry" (CG, +4). You said it, not me. But sometimes it's all about swag, and no one on the corner has swagger like Alabamians (I had to look that up. I wanted it to be Alabamites.). "Iron bowl sounds the coolest. Much better than the battle of the megaphone" (JB, +4). I draw the line at making fun of where people live or go to school. "Have you seen the ESPN special about these backwoods crazy people? I rest my case" (MF, +3).

Can you be a huge college football fan and not be SEC crazy? If not, then I'm just a guy. As far as I understand, LSU doesn't have a natural rival, but that didn't stop all you Louisiana people from saying LSU and those backwoods mthrfks from Arkansas was the best rivalry of the week. "I love this week of college football...traditions...rivalries...haaa. #3 Arkansas Razorbacks @ #1 Louisiana State Tigers" (KP, +3). You know what that is right there. Chumlee's Banditos is just all drunk with that college football syrup. "#1 vs. #3 couldn't be bigger," except if it was #1 vs. #2, "but it should be a great game" (CCa, +3).

Our Mad Bomber filed her card at 2AM as usual, but at least used solid logic: "For what is at stake I would say LSU vs Arkansas. But for tradition/history coming to an end I must say ut vs faggies... Oops damn autocorrect. I am nearly positive i typed aggies" (KZ, +4). I know. Too easy, but...

If the Red River Shootout had something to be jealous of, it would be Michigan and Ohio State (RK, +2 for just naming the game). "The best rivalry is still the longest running rivalry of OSU and Michigan.  This rivalry has been been going on for 176 years.  Yes. That is correct.  The football rivalry was just a continuation of the Toledo War (aka Ohio-Michigan War).  Nobody else can beat that" (GF, +5). Sometimes it is like you guys just write these posts for me.

We share some blood, but I still can't believe someone almost stole Thanksgiving food answer. "Pumpkin vs chocolate cream pie" (JN, +4). Get it? A rivalry between Thanksgiving foods? I said "Green bean casserole vs. cornbread dressing" (GN, +4), but it's not as funny now.

A few of you also went outside the box. We got a "Grambling v Southern" (SS, +2), but no explanation. We also got one with a lot of curse words and sarcasm in it, so that's cool. "Definitely the ridiculously named civil war. Seriously its the civil war in fucking Oregon?!?! If lsu vs ole miss was called the civil war and everybody flew the stars and bars at the game there would riots but just stick it up there in Oregon and nobody gives a shit" (KSc, +5). Food for thought.

I had two favorites this week, and I won't sully them with lame comments.

"The best rivalry this week is watching my two dogs go after each other for the scraps that I give them after Thanksgiving.  The each want what the other has and they don't back down.  After a lot of barking and growling, biting and sometimes even a little bit of blood, they each go back to their bowls.  You don't get that down in aggieland.  One is going home and the other is running off to another part of the country!" (D2, +6)

"Vandy vs. Wake.
Battle of the Black and Gold
Dores vs. Deacs.
Twang vs. Tobaccy
Legendary students: Mack Brown vs. Timmy
Legendary coaches: Bear Bryant vs. John Mackovic" - (KH, +6)

Solid work guys.

P-F11: Week 14 NFL Results

updated 12/6/11 8:48 PM

Everyone but four picked Denver today. In Tebow's name, Amen. 2011 Week 14 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Week 14 NFL "Best Bets" Winners:
ANo, GN, KW, DW, KH, RK, CCa, JH, Lo, A-C, DD, JB, JN, MM, AP, KP

Everyone who lost picked the Cowboys. One of you boldly picked the hobbled Texans. One of you had Him in your Best Bets.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

P-F11: Week 14 NCAA Results

Congrats to Chumlee's Banditos (KP) and Dirt Burglars (D2)! 2011 Week 14 NCAA Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Congrats to Chumlee's Banditos for kicking our arse. Both winners are P-F newbies.

1st Place: Chumlee's Banditos (KP)
2nd Place: Dirt Burglars (D2)

Wonder how it happened? D2 overcame a slow start and finished strong. KP sprinted to a huge lead and coasted at the end. It's not often that someone picks 58% against the spread and doesn't win. KP's 61% is really impressive. 2011 Week 14 NCAA Card (v1.0) - Score Chart

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Week 9 NFL Bonus: Vince Young is the Greatest of All Time

Week 9 NFL Bonus: Vince Young is the G.O.A.T.

VY will be the Greatest "Next Vince Young" of All Time - Ferments-A-Lot

Cat Power - The Greatest

Vince Young is a polarizing sports star. His play is sometimes ugly and sometimes downright absurd, but occasionally his play is awe-inspiring. We could argue what the real VY is for years (we have), but there is no sane argument that VY wasn’t one of the greatest college football players of all time.
VY’s win/loss record as a starter in college is 30-2. In the NFL, VY’s record as a starter is 31-1718. If Chris Johnson was the reason for all those wins, then why didn’t Kerry Collins win with the same team in the same year?
VY just wins. I’m a fan, but I can’t explain it. All I know is that VY probably isn’t NFL Hall of Fame bound, so while once the Greatest of All Time (G.O.A.T.) in college football, he’s not destined for G.O.A.T. status in the pros.
Being that VY inexplicably wins at everything, what is VY’s next G.O.A.T.?

The Northmen (ANo) suggest aftershave, since he “always looks clean faced and nice dressed up.” I know Amanda just has man-love for VY – although if Redman and Method Man could sell deodorant…  (+4).
Did you know VY has a steakhouse? Apparently it’s pretty good. Chicainery (CCa) just throws a dart and suggests VY will be the G.O.A.T steakhouse owner. I wish I was that (+4). Who says you can’t cook meat and still play? SEC Rejects (ANe) gives a practical answer: “Arena Football, it fits his free-4-all style of making good things happen” (+4). OK, but there may be more money in steaks.
Large Donkey IPA (KSc) manages to leave Erin Andrews out of his answer, but still mentions references genitals with “G.O.A.T. Vick jock strap holder” (+4). I hear that job pays well. Speaking of jock straps, Bob and Gary Destroyers (JH) says “he’ll be the greatest Texas Assistant to the Assistant High School Football Coach in Far West Texas history” (+4). I’m pretty sure the assistant to the assistant washes the jock straps.
13 National Championships (CG) is married to a Longhorn, but he clearly has some hate for #10. “He is either going to be the best bank teller ever, or make the best smoothies in Texas when he loses all his money because he is a dipsh!t and will be out of the league in a year. Make it rain mother f**ker(+4). Best smoothies would be pretty cool.
It was inevitable that I’d get some hypersensitive responses (negative and positive). Bevo XIV (DW) is pro VY: “First off, Vince is a two time pro bowler (same as Mario, 2x more than Reggie).” But…he will be the GOAT QB for the Cowboys when they finally realize that Romo isn't the answer” (+4). Heh. When it comes to funny,
WhooDat4Life (Lo) has a good one with “VY is soon to become the G.O.A.T. of false football claims, like Philly being a ‘dream team’ or him going to the hall of fame. Ryan Leaf gets in before VY” (+4). VY > Tebow >> Ryan Leaf. Just saying. Devil Dawgs (DD) also noted that “Eagles the dream team” was the “greatest over-prediction of all time” (+4). Raise your hand if all of your dreams are of things that are the best. Uh huh. Maybe Vince has scary dreams and was just opening up his sensitive side.
Sarcasm can be funny, like Topo Chicas (A-C) answer that VY will be the G.O.A.T. at “underachieving… of course through no fault of his own” (+4) I wish there wasn’t any truth to that. Hellfish (KSh) submits: “The Wonderlic Test” (+4). Six. Yeah, that happened. But he also retook it and scored a 16. That is the same score as Dan Marino. VY = Marino? Eh, maybe not.
1 Man Wolfpack (MF) puts in words the sentiments of lot of Longhorn faithful: “I loved Texas QB Vince Young, but I don't love him now.  He still thinks it is the end of his junior year and he just won the National Championship.  That night is long gone.  He might end up being the G.O.A.T. to show up at all UT spring games moving forward” (+5). Yeah.
Most of the time I can figure out your riddles, but Mr. Smokeypants (KH) stumped me with the “Successor to Oscar Giles” answer. (+4)? Brother and Mad Bomber (KZ) sister had UT assistance coaches in mind. KZ suggests VY would be a good “assistant coach of some sorts of UT, but he won’t be G.O.A.T until UT meets up again vs. USC in another National Championship and of course figures out how to single handedly win the game. Then we can once again say ‘In Vince We Trust.’ Yep, I still proudly sport the t-shirt my big brother bought me a few years ago” (+5, for the story).
Some of you didn’t really suggest VY’s next triumph. The Yeasty Beasties (KW) suggest it “will be related to his starting over after he blows his NFL earnings” (+3), but then adds “I hate you so much” (-1?). As an emotion, hate is similar to love, so I suppose that is better than apathy. Pimp Posse (JB) thinks “he will become bankrupt and sell his National Championship ring while living under a bridge (+3). I think I’ve heard that story before. Booyah (MN) totally disagrees with KW and JB. He simply says VY is the “best there never was” (+3). Wait. What? Rose Ate It (SS) just says “momma’s boy” (+3). I’m not sure about that. And then we had Chumlee's Banditos (KP): “He's done in the NFL...maybe Canadian/NFL Europe or Arena league football...sad to say....I find it hard to imagine how he is handling backing up a dog killer...VY was never that bad....alright he did do some stupid things....see exhibit A(+3). VY done in the NFL… not fact. We are all Chumlee’s b!tches in the NCAA contest… fact.
Leave it to a Sooner to be totally backward. Naked Bootleggers (JN) says he be the “Greatest of All Time Longhorn to flog in the NFL” (+4). I’d say with a 31-1718 record as a starter and a few Pro Bowls, he’s way past flop territory. How about Rookie of the Year? Got that too.
It’s nice to have so many Sooners in the P-F pool this year. If anything, they can call BS on this VY G.O.A.T. talk. Dirt Burglars (D2): “VY was never a GOAT and will never be a GOAT.  The only GOAT VY can be associated with is the one in the basement of his frat house! BAAAHHH!!!!” (+4).
The Most Imaginative Award goes to (no, not Dirt Burglars, but) Gig’em Baby (AP). This Aggie thinks “VY and Tim Tebow will have the best reality show of all the ambiguously gay dream team of television. There will be plenty of Tebowing and INTs...and of course run-ins with the law and confessions at church. Also, Tiger will be making several guest appearances” (+5). Sounds like good programming for the Longhorn Network. I’d TiVo that.

Weezer - The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (variations on a Shaker hymn)

One of you guys seemed to really have the scoop on VY’s future. “This is strictly on the DL... I happen to know VY is dabbling in the oil company industry as a partner in a machine shop... but it won't be that. VY will be the new spokesman for proactive surpassing the selling skills of Puff Daddy Diddly Diddle and Jessica Simpson. But you ain't heard that from me.” – Beelzebubbles (CCo) +6

Thursday, November 24, 2011

P-F11: Week 13 Results

last updated 11/28/11 11:08 PM 


Just one thing.

A cash grab complication. ¡Gooooaaaaaallll de los Horns! Scoreboard... everlasting.

Cash Run (Biggie + Tupac + White Stripes) 2011 Week 13 NCAA Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

NFL 2011 Week 13 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

P-F11: Week 12 Results

updated 11/22/11 10:00 AM

NCAA 2011 Week 12 NCAA Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

GameDay Sign Suggestion Bonus:

I asked you to submit a clever GameDay-ish sign to celebrate ESPN's visit to the lovely U of H campus. Here's what you guys submitted.

Northmen (ANo): "Eat 'em up Corso!" +3

Ferments-A-Lot (GN): 'Did ESPN Gameday come to your High School? I don't think so. RESPECT." Cougar High jokes don't get old, just saying. +4

BevoXIV (DW): "Who knew SWC >> Big 12?" It's not. +4

Mr. Smokeypants (KH): "Fowler likes the shocker" Classy, er I mean classic. +3

Mad Bomber (KZ): "Chunk the deuce" I'm Paul Wall, Swishahouse baby, Houston Tex
Live from the gridiron, I'm on the grind, collectin checks. +5

BlitzKrieg (RK):
Haven't seen him?
Drink a Case of beer and watch him throw.
This system QB is worthy of Heisman row."
A rhyme? Are you kidding me!? Automatic +6

Chicainery (CCa): "Geaux LSU"
Neaux points for that, Chris. 
OK, +2

Large Donkey IPA (KSc):
"What's better than Erin Andrews and Gameday in Houston?
Erin Andrews in my bed....
See you in New Orleans, Alabama"
An Erin Andrews related answer... I should have guessed. +4

Bob and Gary Destroyers (JH): "Go Cougars!  Unfortunately, you just can't go to the Big 12!"
Yeah, this is great and all, but let's not get crazy. +3

Beelzebubbles (CCo): "Come back when I'm skinny!!"
That would have made it on TV. +5

WhooDat4Life (Lo): "Welcome to Houston where we have super senior starting quarterbacks and don't hide child molesters!"
While good and topical, that wouldn't have made it on TV :) +4

Topo Chicas (A-C): "Geez....this weeks matchups must really suck. Didn't y'all mean to go to Austin?"
Maybe they should have gone to Waco. +3

13 National Championships (CG): "PLEASE DIE CORSO"
Y'all's signs are really taking a dark turn. +3

Pimp Posse (JB): "Houston has a university"
I'm not an expert, but I think they like to be called "commuter school" +3

Booyah! (MN): "Go Lornhorns"
My sign doesn't have speel check. :) +3

Naked Bootleggers (JN):
"Check List to get Game Day at your University...
1) Beat UCLA?....CHECK
2) Shut out Georgia State?....CHECK
3) Almost lose to LA Tech?....CHECK

NOW get inside that Cougar Corso!"
Like. +6

Skip to the 0:55 mark.

SEC Rejects (ANe): "Hey Big 12... Where's our invite?!"
Keep checking the mailbox. +4

1 Man Wolfpack (MF): "Andre Ware for Prez!!!"
VY >> Andy. Opposite for radio though. "OH NO!!" +4

Hellfish (KSh): "U of wHo"
They are the ones with the ghetto campus. Remember? +3

Throwin' Darts (MM):
"Would Houston still be perfect in a real conference?
Does a advanced Calculus in the woods?"
Hahaha. +6

Dirt Burglers (D2): "Gameday went where?"
I know. They missed an Oklahoma game. +3

Above Average Joe (JG): "Cougars"
When I say "Houston" you say "Cougars." "Houston!" +1

Gig'em Baby (AP): "Go Texans!"
Bye week, yo. +1

Chumlee's Banditos (KP): "Ride 'em donkeys... em Mustangs"
True story. +3

NFL 2011 Week 12 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

New leader!

NFL Bonus: What team scores closest to zero this week?
Kansas City Chiefs = 3
Correct answers: KH, CCo, CG, SE, D2 +3

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Saturday, November 12, 2011

P-F11: Week 11 Results

last updated 11/15/11 8:19 PM

The Week That Is:
Combo post this week. Below are your scorecard links to follow along as the action unfolds.

NFL Sunday Afternoon Kickoffs
Tim Tebow > Kansas City Chiefs. Tim threw 2 passes, but it's all about the W baby. Elongated throwing motion // Tim Tebow > Cam Newton? I'm not saying, I'm just saying the Panthers lost to the Titans today. Not good. // Vick lost again. You know you like that. // The Texans don't seem to need Mario Williams. If they re-sign that bum, one or two of you in this league will have to hear my drunken Mario rant at a bar this off-season. // Two of you guys were up on the Seahawk win over the Ravens. I'm going to need to see you in the commissioners office. // Dallas kicked ass. So what's the truth? Bills = pretenders or Cowboys = for real. // Atlanta beat themselves in OT. Who dat anyway. // Former Longhorn Colt lost again... because of former Longhorn Phil Dawson's missed FG. I can't take all this losing!1! // I've Googled Andy Dalton before. Seriously, I don't know why I can't remember who this guy is. If you Google him now, the top link is that he threw two picks in the 4th to give Pittsburgh the win.

We got a fight in the Chicago/Detroit game!

The NY Giants really don't move the needle for me, but this picture is one of the best sad fan picture I have ever seen.

The no joke quote of the week:

Patriots 37, Jets 16 

“Thirty-seven points on the best defense in the league, s**k my d**k,” - Bill Belichick

New York weeps. J-E-T-S Je--nevermind.

NFL Pick'em Scorecard 2011 Week 11 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard

NFL Pick'em Leaderboard

NCAA Early Kickoffs
What I watched: Texas almost needing to use people from the stands to field a team. The docs and trainers are going to be busy tonight. I'm sick. No literally. Wish I was drinking an Independence Brewing Oklahoma Suks, then I'd feel a little better.
What I wish I watched: Wake/Clemson on ESPNU.
Some Live Thoughts: While the Clemson game didn't make the card or the peripheral TVs, I switched over to the 28-28 game right after Texas lost. As I'm typing, Florida-South Carolina and Nebraska* (I'd rather not mention those despicable* mthrfkrs in State College... all of 'em*) are also within 1 score with only a few minutes remaining. Wake just lost to #9 Clemson on a last second field goal with enough time to catch the last 30 seconds of the Nebraska game. Nebraska wins by 3. The line was 3.5. WTF corn! South Carolina just took care of biz against Florida. Missed that pick. Just flipped to Michigan St.-Iowa. The Spartans are in victory formation... 37-21. Oh goodie... missed that pick too. Earlier, Okie lite dropped 66 on Tech. Here is something: Since scoring a TD to go up 31-7 on OU three weeks ago, Texas Tech has been outscored 190-43.
Guns up. Good fan.
I'm 1-5 after the early games conclude. Gig'em Baby (AP) is 5-5. Horns down, thumbs up, dude.

*Both of those links are must reads.

NCAA Midday Kickoffs
What I watched: The Longhorn Network is free this week. That's pretty much all I've been watching. (OK, I also watched Texas A&M do their double digit lead blowing thang.)
What I wish I watched: If you think I wasn't glued to that, you are crazy. Well, actually I switched over to watch this:

I don't really have anything against Boise (even if I did get all Schadenfreude-y when a field goal cost them a BCS Bowl for the 2nd straight year), but this opens the door for the University of Houston to get a BCS bid. I think they'll get smoked if they play someone good, but that'll just be win-win for me (Win: the hometown guys get some attention, Win: they can shut their mouths after a 30+ point loss to any decent team). College Gameday is coming to Houston next week. Nice.
Only cool when you win.
Some Live Thoughts: No "live look-ins" this time. The 4OT aggie game had my attention and I just opened my first beer. Hopefully it agrees with those night-strength meds I took a while back.

KP picked up 5 of 6 midday games. What the hell, guys? DD did the same, and is leading now with 9. A few of you have 3 after 11 games, so I won't complain about my 4.

NCAA Late Kickoffs
What I watched: The anti-LSU/Bama, Oregon/Stanford. Seriously, I intended to watch this game, but instead I checked out that UFC fight on Fox. Those 64 seconds were, uhhh, fun? So Fox lost their UFC virginity, it only lasted a minute, and it wasn't at all satisfying? That sounds about right. Do you know why college football is better than sex? Because it lasts longer.
What I wish I watched: The Marquez/Pacquiao fight. I hear Pacquiao won pretty decisively.
Pacquiao, wearing only a hat. *That's* pimping.
Some "Live" Thoughts: I spent the later part of the night playing ps3. Don't judge, I still had games on. Apparently 'Bama missed a couple more field goals. Ugh. Western Kentucky managed to put 9 up on LSU. And, I didn't see this until Sunday, but check this bleep out. Sick.

NCAA Pick'em Scorecard
Chumlee's Banditos may have had another double digit performance (ho hum), but Devil Dawgs (DD) is are weekly winner with 12 of 15 correct picks. Props to ANo, CG, JN, and KSh, who also got dubs this week. 2011 Week 11 NCAA Card (v1.0)

NCAA Pick'em Leaderboard
I don't care what you say, spell check. *I* say leaderboard is a word.

It is probably about time to admit that this is a race for the 2nd place prize. WhooDat4Life (Lo) and Dirt Burglars (D2) made a move into the #2 slot, but ten or more teams probably still have a shot. Good luck pimps (and by "good luck," I mean I don't care because it's not me that has a shot :).