Tuesday, November 30, 2010

P-F10: Week 13 NFL Bonus - Turducken

Turducken is pretty genius. What football player or personality would be even better with another player, personality, or celebrity stuffed inside?

Team Name Answer Points Comments
ANo Northmen Ed Hockuley stuffed into Madden with a splash of Al Michaels 5 Ed's the man.
GN Ferments-A-Lot Every touchdown shown on the NFL Redzone channel stuffed inside Gus Johnson. Delisioso! 5 Daayyaammnn! Great answer, me.
KW The Swinging Richards William Perry stuffed with OJ Simpson. 5 OJ in The Fridge. +1000!
DW Bevo XIV I prefer me some Ines Sainz stuffed with Jillian Barberie to get the blonde/brunette, high voice/low voice with a slight accent combo. 5 Awesomely technical.
KH Smokey's Bandits Stuff VY with Dick Butkus so he won't be such a baby. 3 -2 for stuffing anything with Dick.
WH The Cheerios Jessica Simpson stuffed inside Eric Johnson, mostly to muffle Jessica Simpson's aimless shrieking. 5 …says the baby.
KZ Duffy charles barkley inside terry bradshaw 5 At Whole Foods, they would sell the "soy" version… the Frank Caliendo stuffed inside the Frank Caliendo
CCa Novacain I would enhance Erin Andrews by stuffing her with...myself. 5 Gross. I think EA is a vegetarian.
KS Large Donkey Circus Seriously....again....stuffing something/someone inside a celebrity.....are you trying to make me do it again....Philip Rivers stuffed inside Peyton Manning stuffed inside Tom Brady would be a solid quarterback....we could just call it a Drew Brees.....suck it cowboys. 5 …for the last part.
JH Nothing to Lose I have to go with Brett Favre stuffed inside Jenn Sterger. 3 Shouldn't Favre be stuffed inside his wife? -2
GF Kentucky Snowman
A-C The Nine-Five How about Gary Kubiak with a personality?  Really, anyone's will do. 5 No, hell no. That's on me.
CCo Beelzebubbles I would take Eli Manning and stuff him with snookie from jersey shore. All Orange with a poof. I could say more but my hair hurts from turkey celebrations. 5 I would ask, but I don't think I want to know more.
DC Cacti3
DD Dave's Bonus Marion Barber and Michael Vick. The second coming of Jim Brown. 3 Which one gets stuffed inside? -2
CG 13 National Championships I doubt Drew Brees can get any better, he already has Jesus stuffed in him. Breesus. 5 Well played.
JM The Red Raiders VICK and OWENS 3 That would be one disagreeable mthrfkr. And who's on the inside? -2
JB Pimp Possee BraDrew UrBreeslacker 5 +2 for name creativity.
JN Naked Bootleggers Farvlisberger. This way we would only have to hear about one football player's man parts.  3 Not as tasty as the Kobe Farvlisberger w/ Cablinasian. -2
MN Football is Fun john madden stuffed w/pat summerall 5 Yes.
ANe Accidental Champs T.O. with John Maddon.  3 How do you get Madden inside T.O.? And, does that make him more palatable?
RK BlitzKrieg
MF One Man Wolfpack Randy Moss stuffed with some Andre Johnson humility might do Randy wonders 5 Why ruin a good Andre Johnson though? That is like stuffing a steak with hamburger.
Lo WhooDat4Life Jerry Jones if you stuffed him with Al Davis, he would have fired everybody a long time ago! 3 I'm a Cowboy hater and I think that is a bad idea. Jones is a supermodel to Davis' trailer trash.
AP Gig'em I'll answer this after Black Friday... 0 Yeah, but you didn't.

P-F10: Week 13 NCAA Bonus Question - Stuffed/Fried Side Dish

Stuffing meat and things in the turkey and/or frying it is like sooo oughts. What side dish would you improve by stuffing meat in it or frying it? 
  Your Team Name Answer Points Comments
ANo Northmen Fried green bean casserole, fair grounds style! 3 Yes
GN Ferments-A-Lot Pan fried sausage stuffed turkey stuffing kolaches 3 Yes
KW The Swinging Richards Deep Fried Candied Yams.  Nuf Said. 3 Yes
DW Bevo XIV Leaning toward breakfast fare, someday I want to try scrapple stuffed French Toast. 4 Scrapple, +1
KH Smokey's Bandits Erin Andrews is a tasty dish, but I'll leave that one to Kevin.  So, I'll go with a Cafe Du Monde beignet stuffed with a Nachitoches meat pie -- in other words sweet fried dough stuff with fried spicy meat. MMMmmm...Louisiana in my mouth. 5 EA, +1. Meat pie, +1
WH The Cheerios pumpkin roasted in maple syrup and brown sugar, then coated with Panko and deep fried, Japanese tempura style... nummy nummy.... 3 Can I come over?
KZ Duffy fried mashed potatoes 3 Yes
CCa Novacain You know, we really don't need to ruin all the side dishes for the vegetarians among us.  Newsflash: the addition of meat does not in fact make everything better.  Shouldn't we as a species make the effort to evolve beyond the practice of mistreating animals in factory farms, when there are more ethical and resource-efficient ways to obtain our protein?  I SAY YES. 0 Newsflash: This isn't to be taken seriously.
KS Large Donkey Circus Seriously, are you just trying to set me up for this....stuffing meat into something? I mean you are making this too EA...sy....so I will give a legitimate answer....my favorite holiday dish is homemade macaroni and cheese, but using bigger noodles, perhaps penne paste and stuffing the noodles with bacon, pancetta, sausage, prosciutto or the link, then baking the macaroni and cheese sounds like delightful. 4 Thoughtful, +1, EA, +1. "Delightful", -1.
JH Nothing to Lose I'm trying really hard not to be dirty about the side dish I would stuff my meat into...too late.  I have to plea the 5th on this question. 2 Gross dude. I would have never thought! :) -1
GF Kentucky Snowman   0  
A-C The Nine-Five Jello Mold. 3 Hmm. Ok.
CCo Beelzebubbles I would have said David Collins but he said that already. 2 What is wrong with your family! -1
DC Cacti3 Me 2 You like meat inside you? -1
DD Dave's Bonus   0  
CG 13 National Championships fried sweet potatoes. get some motha... 3 Yes
JM The Red Raiders pizza 3 Why not.
JB Pimp Possee Fried pecan pie. It's awesome.  3 I want to try that.
JN Naked Bootleggers The only way I would possibly eat sweet potatoes is to fry it and then place a couple scoops of ice cream on it.  3 Sweet potato fries? Ketchup?
MN Football is Fun pecan pie 3 2nd reference, hmm.
ANe Accidental Champs Fried Sweet potatoes 3 Yes
RK BlitzKrieg Anything and everything can be improved by jamming bacon in or around it -- including bacon itself.  You probably think bacon-wrapped-bacon is silly.  Then you have never had it. 4 The anti-Cain. +1
MF One Man Wolfpack can you fry mashed potatoes stuffed with turkey?
3 Don't let anyone tell you what you can't do, yo.
Lo WhooDat4Life you could always stuff the dinner rolls with andoullie sausage...or maybe fry some broccoli with bacon.   hmmmm   bacon!! 3 Bacon, bacon, bacon.
AP Gig'em Again...will answer after Black Friday :) 0 Ugh, but you didn't.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

P-F10: Week 13 NFL Results

post last edited 11/30/10 11:37 PM

No VY today? No #12? Time to eat some turkey and nap. Just saying.

Week 13 NFL Scoreboard

You know who is not falling asleep? Bevo XIV (DW). He currently holds a 7 pick advantage over One Man Wolfpack (MF), which I can't type without thinking "mthrfkr" in my head. Whatever that says about me, I'm sure it's true.

Point summaries for Week 13:
Two words: M. F. How do you make a run at the top spot? How about 14 of 16 NFL picks? If this race heats up, then there may not even be a race from below for the #2 spot.

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): MF (14) +3 bonus points
NFL dubs (12+): CCa, KS (13), A-C, DC, ANe, MF (14), Lo  +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: Turducken is pretty genius. What football player or personality would be even better with another player, personality, or celebrity stuffed inside? SEE POST
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Saturday, November 27, 2010

P-F10: Week 13 NCAA Results

post last updated 11/30/10 4:28PM

If WhooDat4Life (Lo) forgets to send his picks, we might have a chance. But when I say we, I don't mean me. :(
-Twenty-Four point deficit


Point summaries for Week 13:
I probably haven't written enough about league newbie WhooDat4Life's (Lo) late season domination of our NCAA Contest. But I should have.

The Swinging Richards (KW) held the top spot for the first 8 weeks of the NCAA Pick'em contest. By week 6, WhooDat4Life was 9 picks out of the top spot. 9 games! As good as Lo has been picking, he averages only 8.5 correct picks a week. He gained only a single point on the leader in Week 7, then two more points in Week 8, two more in Week 9, three in Week 10, and then took the lead with only three weeks remaining in the contest. His Pick'em scores during that climb to the top: 6, 13, 11, 9, 8. What does he do once he catches some clean air up front? 12 and 10. Damn.

Folks, there is only one week remaining (if you haven't paid, maybe you should email me). Mathematically, if your game initials aren't DW, ANe, WH, JN, CCo, JM, A-C, DD, KW, or KS, then thanks for playing (I'm shaking my own hand right now... then I'm doing the finger lock... then the fist bump... then the finger explosion *kablurckckck*). If your game initials aren't KS, KW, DD, A-C, JM, or CCo, you are probably not even playing for 2nd place. Ain't no one going to make up 6 points in one week and catch Lo.... right?

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): CCo, AP (11) +3 bonus points
NCAA dubs (10+): CCo (11), JM, JN, Lo, AP (11) +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: Stuffing meat and things in the turkey and/or frying it is like sooo oughts. What side dish would you improve by stuffing meat in it or frying it? SEE POST
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

P-F10: Week 12 NFL Results

last updated 11/21/10 11:01 AM

I'm a pretty decent human being, but I find myself pulling for Favre and Vick this week. I guess that is why TMZ decided to get in the sports business.

This right here ain't gossip. It's the truth.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

P-F10: Week 12 NCAA Results

last updated 11/21/10 11:17PM

I hear Mr. Smokeypants (KH) is going to rock out with his gamecock out this week. Don't send any photos.

Oh wait, digging back through the emails, he said he would be ball hair out. Nevermind then... but still I don't want an MMS.

Thank you Cam Newton's Dad. Your dumbassery has replaced my previous media obsession of Brett Favre's dong.

How 'bout some scores?


The Pelini brothers are totally insane, and they are such sore losers its impossible not to have some Schadenfreude at their expense. Check out Carl Pelini attacking an Aggie storming the field after the big 9-6 win.
 Here is the story. LINK

For the most part, I like Aggie football. But Aggies, they are just different. (warning: man part violation in video)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

P-F10: Week 11 NFL Results

(updated 11/20/10 11:08 AM)

banana banana banana.
Week 11 NFL Scorecard

orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Step aside Chuck, Nick Javas is currently my hero.

...but guys, he has got competition.

Point summaries for Week 11:
Do you want to know what I think about this week? (I'm going to assume you do, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this part.) I like a week where I can score 5 and still move two spots up the leaderboard. You know Bevo XIV (DW) likes about this week? That we all sucked and he picked 9 games correct.

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): DW (9) +3 bonus points
NFL dubs (12+): None  +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: ATS Pick: Dallas +13.5 or New York -13.5. Final Score: Dallas 33, NYG 20. Whoa.
Correct Answer = Dallas +13.5, KH, JH, JB, ANe, CCo, DD, DC, KZ, RK
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Sunday, November 14, 2010

P-F10: Week 11 NCAA Results

(Last updated 1/15/10 2:59 PM) 

click on the link below if you want to see the scoreboard.
Week 11 NCAA Scoreboard

look at this chart below if you want to know how your picks affected the leaderboard.

Week 11: A Boring Week of Football:
...or so it seemed going into the weekend. Who had #1 Oregon squeaking by Cal 15-13? Is the overrated tag unfair? Probably. Who had Michigan turning the ball over another fifty-seven thousand times, eh? I had some comments about Cam Newton's game against a mediocre Georgia team, but he stole them. Anyone catch all those dirty plays by Auburn DL Nick Fairley? Class. TCU almost lost to San Diego State. That would have been a damn shame. I really hope you can tell how broken up I'd be about it from my writing. And Utah got spanked by Notre Dame... maybe TCU ain't that good after all. Although I'd root my arse off for them in a playoff scenario, TCU doesn't belong in the BCS title game. The Old Ball Coach beat Florida and punched his ticket to the SEC championship game. Don't be fooled by the 83 points, Wisconsin sucks, and the 83 points prove it. Texas put on the uniforms, tried not to get too dirty, and then hit up 6th St. Da Aggies beat Baylor, which is important to me for 2 reasons: 1. It brings balance back to The Force, and 2. I have a bet with a radio station host that the ags will finish with a better record than Notre Dame. Goooooo thumbs!

If that doesn't get you all fired up to use a multi-pronged spear and kill a frog I don't know what it is that gets you fired up. Oh, let's do some frog killing and some beating on the football field of the cornhuskers. gig'em.

Point summaries for Week 11:
OH NO! The league leader forgot to send his picks this week. After Week 11, WhooDat4Life (Lo), Large Donkey Circus (KS), and Bevo XIV (DW) step into the 1, 2, 3 spots. Our leader is picking 54% ATS, which on the bright side is better than the my 44% ATS, but unfortunately would fail to break even if we were in Vegas... and you were waging the same on every game... and it had to be the 15 games I selected. Actually, 54% sounds pretty good. Props to DW for being the only double digit scorer this week.

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): DW (10) +3 bonus points
NCAA dubs (10+): DW. +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: What can you do if you want more than 3 weeks of vacation? (post coming soon)
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Week 9 in Rhyme (that's Pickem Dash Football Week 10 to you though, bro)

I can't believe I just discovered these videos. Given that... this video is just reason #3295443 the Internet is the best thing that has happened in the history of the Earth.

(if you don't watch all 6 minutes and 29 seconds of this, then we can't be friends anymore... just saying)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

P-F10: Week 10 NFL Results (Super Big Two Week Wrap-up Post)

(last updated 11/9/10 11:36 AM)

Same as yesterday, I promise to get caught up on both of these contests before the weekend is over.

Current NFL Leaderboard:

12:42 PM: Thank goodness for the NFL Redzone channel. Another seemingly boring slate of games are made more interesting by their coverage. It's a good time to dig into last week's wrap up.

12:45 PM:
What happened last week - Week 9 NFL Scoreboard
What happened this week - Week 10 NFL Scoreboard

12:54 PM: Week 9 NFL Bonus -

ANo, Northmen - "That couldn't be me because I'm straight cc: @Sterger69 @RealCommishTagliabue" (FTW! +5)
GN, Ferments-A-Lot - "I've seen a lot of cocks in my life, but I've never seen that one... although it looked pretty friggin' nice #justsaying cc @gregoden" (" +4)
KW, The Swinging Richards - "Well uh, let's be honest folks, that couldn't have possibly been me, I wear no-fly jeans." (+3)
DW, Bevo XIV - "If you think that's all I got, I will demonstrate my manhood if you just DM me your cell." (+4)
KH, Smokey's Bandits - "That junk aint mine.  Where's the Super Bowl ring?  [pic of junk with Super Bowl c___-ring to follow]" (I'd like to point out that this marks the 2nd straight bonus answer that KH dropped a "c___" bomb in +4)
WH, The Cheerios - "I didn't see the pictures (I'm a baby) and I don't really want the image in my little baby head.  I do like my own junk and by that I mean b" (Parents take pictures of their baby's junk all the time. Why do we get so ashamed of it when it grows up? +2)
KZ, Duffy - 0
CCa, Novacain - "http://thisIsWhatMyDongActuallyLooksLike.com" (I tried to check out that website... didn't work +4)
KS, Large Donkey Circus - "Obviously, it wasn't my junk with all the Vicodin I took back in the 90's I haven't had an erection in 15 years (Cialis/Viagra-any interest)" (Strong case there +4)
JH, Nothing to Lose - "Obviously that's not mine, I'm circumcised!" (Strong case there too +3)
GF, Kentucky Snowman - "Those are mine.  My junk is bigger." (Confusing. Fitting. +3)
A-C, The Nine-Five - "That text was intercepted... I'll do a better job of protecting the ball from now on" (What, no moving the stick joke also? +3)
CCo, Beelzebubbles - "That's definitely  not me, you know I'm black right?" ("black down there" woulda earned an extra point +3)
DC, Cacti3 - 0
DD, Dave's Bonus - "c'mon man, that can't be my junk.... it doesn't have my green bay tattoo and my jets tattoo and my vikings tattoo..." (the idea of c0ck tattoos is giving me pains right now, but if anyone was going to tattoo their dong with their team, Favre might be on the list of candidates. +3)
CG, 13 National Championships - I refuse to answer this for many reasons. One - I cannot stand the man or the amount of press he receives daily from the media and my commish. Two - I don't comment on other mens junk unless we are talking about John Holmes who was more than a man, he was a machine. (+2 for calling me "press." My interest in Farve is purely entertainment. I want him to be an unbelievable success or a colossal failure. Nothing in between. I hated him w/ the Jets, but that's b/c I didn't know he was dong shotting himself.)
JM, The Red Raiders - 0
JB, Pimp Possee - "Clearly the photos ms sterger claims to be me, are that of a much younger man..." (Like +4)
JN, Naked Bootleggers - "Everyone knows the state of Mississippi is tattooed on my junk." (More dong tattoo tweets. Hrm. +3)
MN, Football is Fun - "Uncut!" (+3)
ANe, Accidental Champs - "Showed commish real deal, he agreed. Not my junk!" (Not Goodell's first dong inspection, I imagine. +4)
RK, BlitzKrieg - I haven't seen the picture that Sterger received, but I always assume if someone is going to send a picture as such, it would be a video capture pic of John Holmes in his prime. I suppose a Favre tweet might go: "Ask Tony #Kornheiser and John #Madden what my #prick looks like. They've been on my #jock for years." (FTW! +5... and summary video with pics at the end can be found at Deadspin)
MF, One Man Wolfpack - "The wife can confirm that it's not mine, not even the same color or girth" (I don't know why, but your tweet just inspired me to write "Jesus doesn't fap" +4)
Lo, WhooDat4Life - "That was clearly not my bird pic, I don't have herpes..." (ew. +3)
AP, Gig'em - "I don't even know what "tweet" is...much less how to send a picture using my phone. I'm 41...we didn't have cell phones growing up." (Didn't some athlete already use the technology excuse this year? +3)

2:28 PM: From the #awesome archives, here is an old video I never posted.

Michael Vick vs. Kevin Kolb

2:31 PM: While I was eating my way from Austin to Houston... this is what apparently happened.

Point summaries for Week 9:
With only 13 NFL games on the schedule, the league average of 7 picks still seems pretty low. These picks are straight up. Maybe it speaks to the parity in the NFL... or in our league. Bevo XIV (DW) looks to have it figured out at the moment. He is picking 64%, but lost a point off his lead (CG and MF knocking on the door).

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): JM, MF, AP (9) +3 bonus points
NFL dubs (12+): None  +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: See above.
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

3:14 PM: Gus Johnson is calling the Lions/Jets game. Lovin' it. I can't explain my addiction. Thank you NFL Redzone channel. (and the game is in overtime... yesssssss)

Enjoy some of Gus' awesomeness below.

11/9/10 11:17 AM: Week 10 NFL Wrap-up.

Point summaries for Week 10:
Who among us doesn't like to talk about themselves above all things? Unless I'm really trying to avoid some difficult work, which is when my most inspired writing is done, I usually can't really think of what to put in this section. I want to put "I sucked this week" or "If this or that game had gone my way I would have won" or "HAHAHAHAHAHA Cowboys!!!!"... but what I usually put is something boring about a few games and a compliment/curse to the leader.

But this week... screw it. I, along with Pickem Dash newbie and MN, picked 12 of 13 NFL games correctly. I don't want to hear your snappy comebacks about how there weren't many upsets. Twelve of Thirteen, baby. If it were easy, why didn't you pick 12 of 13? Suck it league, I was awesome for one week!

[picture me doing the game picking equivalent of "leaving it up there" after a big 3 pointer in basketball]

The top of the leaderboard is getting crowded. Watch out DW.

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): GN, MN (12) +3 bonus points
NFL dubs (12+): GN, MN  +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: What game will have the lowest total (lowest combined score)?
Correct Answer: Mia/Bal=36, CCa, DW (Edgar Allan Poe vs. Don Shula's ghost... nice), CCo, MF, A-C, Lo, DD, GN, ANe
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Saturday, November 6, 2010

P-F10: Week 10 NCAA Results (Super Big Two Week Wrap-up Post)

(last updated 11/7/10 3:38 PM)

Current NCAA Leaderboard:

11:00 AM: Before the day is over, I'll get all the Week 9 NCAA wrapped up. The football is slightly weak today. Arguably the best game of the day (TCU/Utah) is on opposite of the other best game of the day (Bama/LSU). On top of that, TCU/Utah is on CBS-CS and not available in HD, at least it is on my Comcastic cable carrier. NASCAR Nationwide and/or horse racing and/or ps3 may get some TV time today.

11:36 AM: Thirty six minutes into Week 10 game watching and there are already like 38 turnovers in the Michigan/Illinois game. But I know that 30 minutes from now that piece of information won't be very interesting. What would be interesting is the...
Week 10 NCAA Scoreboard

11:44 AM: Is anyone up on this Death to the BCS book? I haven't read a book since middle school (and when I say "read" I mean I got pretty close to finishing because it was short), but if I did read books, I would read this one. I did find a youtube video loosely based on the book though. Check it.

12:51 PM: I'm going to start getting caught up on last week.
Week 9 NCAA Bonus Question: College Gameday is visiting your favorite campus. How do you make sure that Lee Corso does not make it to the stage?

ANo, Northmen: Dress up as a stage hand and tell him the location has been changed. (+2)
GN, Ferments-A-Lot: Confuse him by only saying nothing but "not so fast my friend" when talking to him. (I'd give myself a 5, but +3)
KW, The Swinging Richards: Put his box of unsharpened pencils in the ladies room. (because Corso is too much of a gentleman to enter the ladies? +2)
DW, Bevo XIV: Hire Greg Davis as your offensive coordinator and you'll be guaranteed to be Lee Corso "proof." (penalty... pandering to the commish +2)
WH, The Cheerios: Put him in a room with a closet full of mascot costumes and ladies' footwear. (awesome, +4)
KZ, Duffy: 0
CCa, Novacain: hide the stage (+1)
KS, Large Donkey Circus: walk by him wearing an oversized Erin Andrews head or put a sign on a door across from his hotel room that says Free Vodka (no man can resist a giant EA head, +3)
JH,Nothing to Lose: Send him a picture of Brett Favre's dong and tell him to meet you at the hotel. (dong jokes are funny, +3)
GF, Kentucky Snowman: 0
A-C, The Nine-Five: Take away his hall pass.  Stuttering and side stepping will no longer be tolerated. (+2)
CCo, Beelzebubbles: Tell him i finally finished the Soybean crayon! (hear that? it's the sound of that one going over my head. +2)
DC, Cacti3: 0
DD, Dave's Bonus: Put a sign in all the local establishments... mascot heads... 2 for the price of 1. (Corso can't pass up giant head +3)
CG, 13 National Championships: You take his walking cane, aka his pencil from his room. He will stay in there looking for it and miss the show... (maybe he keeps his medicine in the pencil, +3)
JM, The Red Raiders: 0
JB, Pimp Possee: Take him to a costume shop where can dress up like a girl (Corso can't pass up a costume +2)
JN, Naked Bootleggers: Sometimes it appears that Corso makes it to the stage drunk, drugged, tired or even stoned.  If he can make it in those states the only way to insure he doesn't make it to the stage in Norman is to throw him in the Red River with a cement block tied to his ankles. (That's gangsterrr +3)
MN, Football is Fun: I do not know. (It's cool, man +0)
ANe, Accidental Champs: Pose as a Chinese government agent who is assigned to broker a deal to require all citizens of China to purchace a box of #2 pencils. (If anything, it'll be confusing +3)
RK, BlitzKrieg: Tell him that a naked Burt Reynolds is waiting for his sharpened pencil at the Tri-Lamb house. (Like. I'm not saying I like a naked Burt Reynolds, but what I'm saying... whatever +3)
MF, One Man Wolfpack: He's old, maybe you can switch his blood pressure meds with some sort of laxative. (Corso, questionable (sh!ts) +3)
Lo, WhooDat4Life: Give him the full salute from some bottomless cheerleaders. (Corso is asexual +2)
AP, Gig'em: Make him go "Ring Dunking" the night before... (Coincidentally, that is the correct answer for "How do you keep Jim Knox from making it to the sidelines. +3)

and the winner...
KH, Smokey's Bandits: Hire Clarence Carter to play at your frat party and invite the Gameday Crew.  Fowler will douche it up, drinking Southern Comfort in a corner while making fun of everyone in his head.  Herbie will be a giant [berger]-tease with the young nubiles. Desmond will get krunk and strike the heisman pose repeatedly -- annoying the fk out of everyone.  Meanwhile Corso is the hit of the party, breaking it down on the dance floor to Carter's biggest hit. Damn, he be strokin that's what he be doin. But near the end of the song, he slips on a drink which that soppy-douche Fowler spilled and breaks a hip. Sheeah! (oh yeah, +5)
2:51 PM: Michigan just won 67-65 over Illinois in 3OT. That is 132 points. I'm going to call it early and say no one gets this week's bonus question correct (highest total, nobody picked this game).

3:45 PM: Still looking for a reason to dislike Notre Dame? I grabbed this video link several weeks back and never got a chance to post it.

Notre Dirty

3:54 PM: I'm going to get Week 9 NCAA stuff out of the way early (i.e. before I finish this 4th beer and lose "motivation."

Point summaries for Week 9:
As you guys now know from my email message to you, I pretty much missed all of last weekend due to a bite from a Baylor Bear fan. Things I know: The league average was over 8, Texas really blows, Oregon could go out there in green man costumes and kick your arse, and KS is making a huge move to stay on top on the leaderboard.

(quick note... I finished that 4th beer... "motivation" is kind of "low" right "now"... here is the part of the day where updates slow down)

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): JH (12) +3 bonus points
NCAA dubs (10+): KS, JH (12), GF, JN, Lo (11) +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: See above.
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

4:15 PM: It is not really clear to me from the packaging. Is beef jerky health food?

4:22 PM: Two words I may, from now on, use air quotes when saying: "motivation" and "seriously" Try it. It never gets old.

5:47 PM: LSU is up by 10 on Bama. Nebraska/Iowa State is going into overtime. The reason I'm still paying attention to Iowa State is that if they win, it shows Nebraska sucks (good) and we may not suck as freaking hard as I've been telling people.

5:52 PM: Bama only down by 3 now. ISU in the hole in OT... check that, 5:54 PM... ISU TD... check that, 5:55 PM, ISU goes for 2 (the win) and misses. Game over.

6:11 PM: Judging by the face and the strange smacking, I'm pretty sure the my little boy just took a sip of my beer while I was setting all the TVs to the evening games. Whoops. He's wearing pink boots now, so I'm just going to chalk all this up to "that's what kids do."

Point summaries for Week 10:
11/7/10 10:17 PM: All scores are up. We had a 4-way tie for the top score (9). KW reclaimed the top spot in the NCAA contest by picking 9 (which was helped by the previous leader KS picking 4).

Weekly Stats:

Weekly Winner(s): DW, JM, Lo, AP (9) +3 bonus points
NCAA dubs (10+): None. +3 bonus points
Bonus Question: Highest Total. Illinois/Michigan = 132. No one picked this.
Paid: KW, DW, KH, WH, KZ, KS, JH, DD, CG, JN, ANe, MF, Lo, AP +1

Thursday, November 4, 2010