Tuesday, November 21, 2017

P-F17 Week 13 Card and Scoreboard Link

NCAA Pick'em

NFL Pick'em

Monday, November 13, 2017

Country Music Sucks: Wu Tang Clan - C.R.E.A.M.

The format was supposed to be that *you guys* would suggest some country song and *I* would suggest the hip-hop song. But I guess we can do this back asswords. Let's see what happens.

Title: C.R.E.A.M.
Artist: Wu-Tang Clan
Year: 1993



Quick take:

Classic hip-hop sampling here. Wu-Tang always blended understated beats and deceptively deep stories. But as catchy as it sounds, was "CREAM" an acronym before Wu-Tang made it up?

Make Country Hip-Hop Count:

  • Cars - Minivan reference! "Rollin' in [Mazda] MPV's... Ch-chick-POW!"
  • Baby - This song has no time for girls. It's about growing up and surviving on the streets.
  • Dirt - Uuuuhhh, Ol' Dirty Bastard y'all (not featured here, but still). RIP Dirt Dog.
  • Small Town - Shaolin land, er Staten Island. This is the smallest of NYC's 5 boroughs, so that is as small town as it gets.
  • Guitar - In a place where they pull out gats for fun, there's just the sound of stray shots
  • Good ol' days - "I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side. Stayin' alive was no jive." Reminds me of my days in Mandeville, LA. Grew up the other side of the highway from the gated community. No jive.

Best Part: 

No doubt. The hook.

Cash rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M., get the money
Dollar dollar bill, y'all

Worst Part:

I could listen to 5 more minutes of this song. Needed 2 or 3 more Wu-Tangs.

Did I Download It?: 

I got this, homies.

What I’d Rather Be Listening To:

But seriously, they made the C.R.E.A.M. acronym up. It's catchy and classic, so C.R.E.A.M. is often referenced, what does it really mean?

I'll just leave this country-ish song here (does Southern Rock count?). It is at least as powerful as C.R.E.A.M. though.



Sunday, November 5, 2017

Country Music Sucks: Chris LeDoux - This Cowboy's Hat

This is the first line of Chris LeDoux's wiki page:
"Chris LeDoux was a Rodeo Cowboy who sang and recorded songs in his spare time and sold his albums from the back of his truck." 
That is serious country street cred. I'm interested.

Title: This Cowboy's Hat
Artist: Chris LeDoux
Year: 1991



Quick take:

This is a simple song about not touching a man's hat. Everyone knows not to touch a man's woman, a man's car, or a man's hat. This song is simply a reminder not to disrespect a fella.


Make Country Count:

  • Cars - Nope, but one old boy said, "Hey Tex, where'd you park your horse?"
  • Baby - Nope. This song is strictly about his costume hat. One reference to a husky fella though, if you are into the bear thing.
  • Dirt - Nope, but props for several rodeo + weather references: Riding black tornadoes, roping a Blue Norther', and bulldoging the Mississippi River. I had to look up most of the rodeo terms.
  • Small Town - This took place in a coffee shop. I like to imagine one in Austin.
  • Guitar - Nope. All hat, all the time.
  • Good ol' days – Not really. Just sipping some coffees and some swapping of rodeo stories before the motorcycle riding asshole wanting to touch another man's hat came in.

Best Part: 

There is a whole verse on where the hat came from.

Worst Part:

Sure the hat meant something, but you also don't touch a man's shitty hat either. He could have saved that whole hat history verse.

Did I Download It?: 

No, but I'm not just into cowboy and rodeo culture. I like this song though.

What I’d Rather Be Listening To:

This song sounds like a what would happen if Beastie Boys "Paul Revere" and Tenacious D's "Tribute" had a tough, uneducated simple baby.




Saturday, November 4, 2017

Country Music Sucks: Florida Georgia Line - Cruise

In Week 6, I proclaimed that country music sucks. You told me some songs I needed to add to my playlist.
"Uh is this a joke?!? Fk country music." -As Donkey As I Want To Be (KS) 
Nope. Not a joke. Zero points.

Let’s do this.

Title: Cruise
Artist: Florida Georgia Line
Year: 2012




Quick take:

Starting with “Baby you a song,” and assuming FGL really love making songs, they must love this girl like they made her themselves. 

This is a song literally about cruising in your car and not much else. The Internet tells me that by April 2013, Cruise had become the best-selling song by a country duo in digital history. I don’t need to look to see if this record held. This song is a dumb country pop song. A dumb song that stands with countless other dumb pop songs.


Make Country Count:

  • Cars - 1 truck, 3 Chevy's, KC fog lights
  • Baby - 10 baby's, 2 girl's. Really surprised there weren't more.
  • Dirt - Has a "back road" in the chorus. Also references mudding, yeehaw!
  • Small Town - Oh yeah, specifically farm towns
  • Guitar - Yup. Dude had to stop his cruising, which the song is all about, just to play some guitar. Sometimes you just get that inspiration. And that's how country music babies are born, kids.
  • Good ol' days – Reference to '70's band The Marshall Tucker Band

Best Part: 

Before Florida Georgia Line finished their first studio album, this song appeared on an EP called "It'z Just What We Do." Who (besides me) said country dudes aren't cool?!? Baller title.

Worst Part:

The worst part of every pop song is that they are terrible ---- yet catchy.

Did I Download It?: 

Hellz no.

What I’d Rather Be Listening To:

Thinking about immortalizing a girl in a song, Fall Out Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down Swinging" comes to mind. It's not as sugar sweet and a little less incest-y than "Cruise." "I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song." This girl clearly gets around, but she is the kind of girl that both Fall Out Boy and Florida Georgia Line dream about. However only one of these songs is dealing reality. And reality stings worse than when you are cruising and you stick your head out of the window and dust from the farm town gets in.