Saturday, November 4, 2017

Country Music Sucks: Florida Georgia Line - Cruise

In Week 6, I proclaimed that country music sucks. You told me some songs I needed to add to my playlist.
"Uh is this a joke?!? Fk country music." -As Donkey As I Want To Be (KS) 
Nope. Not a joke. Zero points.

Let’s do this.

Title: Cruise
Artist: Florida Georgia Line
Year: 2012




Quick take:

Starting with “Baby you a song,” and assuming FGL really love making songs, they must love this girl like they made her themselves. 

This is a song literally about cruising in your car and not much else. The Internet tells me that by April 2013, Cruise had become the best-selling song by a country duo in digital history. I don’t need to look to see if this record held. This song is a dumb country pop song. A dumb song that stands with countless other dumb pop songs.


Make Country Count:

  • Cars - 1 truck, 3 Chevy's, KC fog lights
  • Baby - 10 baby's, 2 girl's. Really surprised there weren't more.
  • Dirt - Has a "back road" in the chorus. Also references mudding, yeehaw!
  • Small Town - Oh yeah, specifically farm towns
  • Guitar - Yup. Dude had to stop his cruising, which the song is all about, just to play some guitar. Sometimes you just get that inspiration. And that's how country music babies are born, kids.
  • Good ol' days – Reference to '70's band The Marshall Tucker Band

Best Part: 

Before Florida Georgia Line finished their first studio album, this song appeared on an EP called "It'z Just What We Do." Who (besides me) said country dudes aren't cool?!? Baller title.

Worst Part:

The worst part of every pop song is that they are terrible ---- yet catchy.

Did I Download It?: 

Hellz no.

What I’d Rather Be Listening To:

Thinking about immortalizing a girl in a song, Fall Out Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down Swinging" comes to mind. It's not as sugar sweet and a little less incest-y than "Cruise." "I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song." This girl clearly gets around, but she is the kind of girl that both Fall Out Boy and Florida Georgia Line dream about. However only one of these songs is dealing reality. And reality stings worse than when you are cruising and you stick your head out of the window and dust from the farm town gets in.

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