Friday, March 13, 2009

2008 Pickies: Pick'em08 Picker of the Year... and farewells

The End. It's sad. I'm staring at the blinking cursor again. *sigh* I guess you guys are getting my farewell in whatever-English-teacher-calls-it-when-you-are-just-supposed-to-keep-writing style. This is as sad as a one-stringed violin's song. And I'm not talking metaphorically here. Can you hear that? No? That's because the one-stringed violin's one string just broke. Seriously Sad. Blinking cursor.

That lady is sad too... but it's because her
one stringed violin sucks. Just look at it!

How about celebrating this year's winners before the presentation of the last award?

NCAA Pick'em Contest:
1st Place ($106): Chris, 59.2% ATS, 132 pts
2nd Place-tie ($21.25): Amy/Carrie, 57% ATS, 127 pts
2nd Place-tie ($21.25): Curtis, 57% ATS, 127 pts

NFL Pick'em Contest:
1st Place ($106): Chris, 66% SU, 169 pts
2nd Place ($42.50): Me, 64.8% SU, 166 pts

Overall Pick'em Points:
1st Place (pride): Chris, 301 pts
2nd Place: Amy/Carrie, 290 pts

NCAA Bowl Pick'em Challenge:
1st Place ($64): Kirby, 62% SU, 69% of confidence points, 424 pts, 26 points over next competitor

NFL Playoff Challenge:

1st Place ($64): Rich, 464 pts, 26 points over next competitor

The final award of the night(s):

This year there was one king. One dude that, despite my attempts at jinxes, just dominated with the kind of class that would impress everyone from your grandmother, to your best friend, this guy.

This guy is happy. His violin is A-OK.

The Pick'em08 Picker of the Year
And the Pickie goes to... Chris.

You were the envy of the league. In fact, congrats to the rest of you guys that hung in there and fought it out for 2nd place instead of throwing in the proverbial towel.

And it's with that folks that I place you gently in the hands of the excitement of March Madness. You guys are on your own to find your way out of the sports-excitement-void that is early and mid-summer baseball. Thanks for playing this year... I had a blast. And if by chance you had a terrible time either mid-season or during the Pickies, thanks for not telling me. Ignorance is truly bliss. Aloha.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

2008 Pickies: The Commissioner of the Year

He doesn't call for his name to be up in lights,
This just gives him something to do fall weekday nights.
His game gets you buzzin quicker than vodka ‘n juice,
And offseason brings you down like alcohol abuse.

His weekly card often makes the weak uneasy,
And he’s also got rhymes that in no way are cheesy.
So don’t dismiss him 'cause he writes really white raps.
He’s not selling this skill these are simple facts.

So while another trophy in the gallery is just more a formality,
His Pickem game is all about reality, and not about the salary.
His game is nine years in the makin, out from under the robe,
And with the blog you can read this *bleep* all over the globe.

His job is 26 percent knowledge, and 38 percent skill.
He asks for 14 percent help, and runs on 70 percent thrill.
When he get 35 percent peeved, he drinks 9 percent beer.
But that’s 192 percent reason for him to want to be here.

Pick'em08 Commissioner of the Year
And the Pickie goes to... Greg.

Whoa! Sweet! This award is as beautiful as two banana slugs gettin' it. Thank you, thank you very much. This was a long time coming. I'm speechless. I kind of feel a little like Susan Lucci... or Kayne West.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

2008 Pickies: Pick'em08 Rookie of the Year

While I hate that we always have some attrition, my favorite part of the league is that for every couple guys we lose, we have a couple newbies come in. It's even better when the rookies seem a perfect fit for the core group of pickers. Crystal should have probably received a Lifetime Achievement Award Pickie for recruiting, but both of our Pickem'08 rookies came through other pipelines.

Pick'em08 Rookie of the Year
And the award goes to... Rich.

Going in to the very last week of the NFL contest, our two rookies Justin and Rich, were tied for 7th in the overall standings. Justin picked a respectable 12 of 16, but Rich picked 14 correct and edged him in the overall standings by two. Rich then went on to rookie victory with a super bowl day comeback win in the NFL Playoff Contest. Congrats newbs.

Monday, March 9, 2009

2008 Pickies: In Memoriam

I could not pass this fake awards show off without an "in memoriam" segment.

For each of our fallen pick'em homies, I ask that you hold your applause (why do people clap at a picture of someone who just died anyway?) until the end of the email. If you are drinking while you are reading this email, you can pour a little out for those that you miss most.

Off-Season Passings:

RP - Randy Parsons, aka, uhh, Randy
: Randy took his picks seriously, and seemed to be a very busy dude. I even took his picks via cell phone a few times last year. But alas, he couldn't deal with the stress of 30 picks a week and he left us peacefully.

DD - Dean Decker, aka "The Wrecking Crew": Self proclaimed Jimmy "The Greek" (?), potential aggie (?), Bob's Carrier colleague (*check*)... I don't know much about Dean, but he claims Bob as a friend, so that is something in my book. Peace out little buddy.

DP - David Polyansky, aka "The Flying Toros"
: In doing some research for the "In Memorandum" segment, I realized David P was responsible for uttering one of the best advertisements for the league (aside maybe from "get your erin andrews filled kolaches here!"): "I went drinking one night and some attractive woman gave me this link." I can't figure out why I haven't pasted that somewhere on the blog yet. Thanks David P. R.I.P.

OB - Octave Brunet, aka "Underdog": Octave kind of got clipped in an accident. He was active in preseason emails, but then left the country for the first few weeks of the season and disappeared, possibly Patrick McDermott style. He was a Louisiana boy and LSU fan, so the loss only improved our demographic a bit. *duck* I kid the LSU fans!

JM - Jorge Marquez, aka "Nuno": aaaah Jorge... pickem minimalist. A quiet assassin. Let's just say he didn't really get up for all the Pick'em lagniappe... or emailing... Jorge was like that semi-warm body a few of you collected money from.

MJ - Michael Jureski, aka "Kentucky Colonals": I'm not big on apologies, but I'm also not sure the statute of limitations is up on my murder of Michael... eeerrr... I don't know what the heck happened to this guy. It wasn't because of this conversation, that's for sure:
MJ: "I keep getting 2 copies of these emails. Please remove this email account ( from this list. Thanks!"
GN: I keep getting 1 copy of these emails. Please remove my email account from this list too. -G*
Whoops. I thought it was funny at the time.

Mid-Season Passings:

JG - Jimmy Gwinn, aka "GMEN"
: Jimmy disappeared in Week 8. The search parties have given up hope of ever finding him. It's too bad... he was a decent playa.

KZ - Kimsey Hopkins, aka "The Mad Bomber"
: I am reasonably confident that Kimsey is OK, since I think Kirby would have broke any bad news to me about his little sister in Week 11. She'll be remembered most for her post midnight (Saturday morning) emails with her picks, which was often BEFORE she was going out. She also called me old man a lot, but hey, I was up partying (ok, drinking by myself with all the family sleeping in their respective rooms) and responding to her emails. So take that, young'un!


Coming up next... the final few awards...

Friday, March 6, 2009

2008 Pickies: The Michael Myers Award

(hit play up above for some theme music as you read this post)

Michael Myers was straight up scary. If you don't remember... rent, download, stream, or purchase a copy of any Halloween movie but Halloween III (wtf!?).

Dude doesn't speak... and dude doesn't die. He is relentless. He doesn't always win, but he never gives up... and he's a pretty darn scary too.

If you haven't guessed it yet, this award is given to the scariest team.

The Michael Myers Award
And the Pickie goes to... Amy & Carrie.

“The Doublemint Twins” turned into “The Deuce” this year and were as potent as ever. They finished 2nd overall and competed for wins in almost every contest. Is that scary enough for you? How about I never wrote a question or dealt out any points without pondering what kind of backlash I would get from these two. Heck, I’m scared they won’t appreciate the amusing award I’m handing off here.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

2008 Pickies: The Devoted Alumnus Award

I'm aware that this league slants a bit toward the college game, but I'm not sure if it's the slant that influences the league talk or the college game itself that creates the type of fans that would join this league. Nevertheless (how did that ever become a word? itisjustthreewordswithnospaces!), I enjoy sharing the roller coaster that is the college football season that we all go through pulling for our respective schools (except zero-u talk... thanks for taking care of that Kyle).

This award celebrates the person most devoted to their school's football team. I'm not talking about just bleeding orange, purple, whatever sand aggies bleed (black?), or crimson. I'm not talking about breaking a wicker chair when your team loses. I'm not even talking about drinking yourself into a coma mid-game to numb the pain of a potentially unfavorable outcome. I'm talking about forfeiting bonus points to avoid jinxing your team's chances at a championship y'all.

The Devoted Alumnus Award
And the Pickie goes to... Curtis.

I don't really know Curtis outside of several emails back and forth during the football seasons, but my guess is that he lives and dies with the Tide... and he's a proud one too, his team name is 12 National Championships!

Runner-up: Dave (*his* team name is BevoXIV for the love and all that is hot sexy cattle)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

2008 Pickies: The Hamlet Award

As I’m staring at the blinking cursor in front of me, I find myself amused at the irony as I present this award. Here I am with another (IMO) clever Pickie Award and I can’t really think of a great way to introduce it. When in doubt… go stream of consciousness. May I present myself with the Slaughterhouse Five Award?

Right...... this isn’t really about me.

This award goes to the classic over-thinker. Of course, since I never see any of you filling out your cards, I’m filling in the blanks here about what kind of player I think you are… but I’m thinkin' I’m not too far off with this one.

The Hamlet Award
And the Pickie goes to... Dave.

Dave is maybe the sharpest football fan (heck, sports fan) I know, but he was consistently average this year... so I attribute the mediocre scores to over-thinking the picks. UT or not UT... take the dog or the chalk? C'mon dude, it's not rocket science! (*ba-dum-chiish*)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

2008 Pickies: The Connected Award

The Pickies took a 3 day weekend... sorry 'bout that...

In honor of me not spending much time on the Pickies over the past few days, I've got an award in the coffers here that has a loose tie-in.

Each week usually has its group of slackers, "I'm way too busy to fill out your card" guys, or "if I wait long enough the football gods will bestow upon me the correct pick so that I may one time relive Amanda's unmatched feat of the perfect card" dudes. You know... basically that group that is hanging out in the corner picking their nose all week.

When I'm not picking exterior body holes myself, I try to send reminders out so no one gets screwed by getting Bob's score, er, the lowest score of the week. Most of you have seen the Nose Picker list at one time or another. Some of you are regulars.

But this ain't no award for picking your nose, being lazy, or being busy. This award goes to the player that seemingly could be reached no matter the time or day. Sure having a crackberry on your hip helps here, but a quick response back always meant one less person I had to make an exception for in the scoring system.

The Connected Award
And the Pickie goes to... Justin.

Thanks, not for being part of the problem, but at least for being quick to reconcile.