Pickem Dash Football

2/8/25 Final Pick, Super Big Game: If the Seahawks win by 5, then the P-F25 NFL Playoff Challenge win goes to Far Left Handed (GN). If the Patriots win or lose by 4 or less, then the P-F25 NFL Playoff Challenge win goes to Shot Callers (RD). 1/25/26 Week 3, Conference Championship Updates: Far Left Handed (GN) and Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) move ahead of the grid and into the P1 and P2 spots. 1/17/26 Week 2, Divisional Playoff Updates: 1/13/26 Update: One NFL postseason contest. One winner. Here's your first scoreboard after all Wild Card games have been played. Wildcard Weekend, P-F25 Playoff Challenge Week 1 Shout-outs: RD gets the Week 1 spreadsheet pick sniper award: 83% ATS (hit all but one). Sharp pickin'. GN was the week’s worst picker with only the Texans correct. Note the self-awareness, maybe anticipating poor performance and betting the minimum on every game. MN, possibly the only professional gambler among us, lost the most points after Green Bay let him down. Int...

[PA Chime] This is your captain speaking. As we begin our descent toward the end of the NFL regular season, we asked one final question of the cabin: What went right? Some answers were earnest. Some were defiant. Some were clearly written while staring at the standings in disbelief. All were honest in their own way. A Northmen (AN), Cuernos Largos (CT), Eleven Verticals (ON) +5 , and Shot Callers (RD) all arrived at the same conclusion: The Texans. Or more specifically, the Texans defense. +3 Wookie Cookies (KH) added, "DeMeco." +3 If I could call out some nuance in Eleven Verticals' (ON) response, he put "Consistency, and the Texans Defense," which subtly also called out the the Texans showed the least amount of defensive looks this year while also having on of the best defenses. I wonder if ON was also referring to his own consistent picking (i.e. 2nd lowest standard deviation across weekly scores). Queenbspice (CC) used the exit interview as a therapy session...

[PA Chime] Thiiiiiiis is your captain speaking. For our NFL Week 3 bonus we asked why doubling up Monday Night Football is the best. The cabin chimed in with answers ranging from bedtime complaints to bold mathematical proofs. We'll board in reverse order. Economy: These all felt like they belonged together. Simple, somewhat punchy one-liners that leaned on numbers, timing, or just the joy of more football. This group wasn't weighed down with heavy baggage. They just gave their quick tray-table takes.  Swamp Dogs (DR): Twice as much is always at least three times as nice. Bevo XV (DW): Two is always better than one! Unsolicited Dicker Kicks (MK): When everyone’s on prime time, no one’s on prime time. Accidentchild (MN): There's 2 games. Which is better than 1. Shot Callers (RD): More football is better! Mediocrity (RH): I get to stay up past my bedtime (maybe). Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW):  It doesn’t, the second game is past my bedtime. Far Left-Handed (GN): Because I g...

Do you know what the most disappointing part of the NFL Playoff Contest is for me every year? It is when I realize this is the last contest, and once again, I squandered my chance to use the word "penultimate" to describe the SECOND TO LAST contest. Penultimate is objectively a better word than ultimate. Whatever. We did it, you guys. We reached Pick'em Dash Football's ultimate challenge (I know but stick with me anyway. You are likely still going to want to participate). Post-season contests are spreadsheet contests!!1! You'll get 200 points on the house and 1 to 35 points based on the random bonus points you've been collecting.  Some key reminders: Pick all 6 games on the card. You must wager at least 15 points on each game. You DO NOT need to use all your points. Submit your picks for the entire weekend prior to the first kickoff on Saturday. The only requirement is that I have your pick before a kickoff, but it makes sharing the scoreboard easier. Forgetti...

NFL Playoff Week 4 - The Super Big Game Thing 2/12/23 Final Update Congrats to Huntwick Hosers (KW)! 2/12/23 Pregame Update Our 2 leaders picked opposite sides, so this 2 team game is now a 2 man race to end our seasons. If the Kansas City Chiefs win, Huntwick Hosers (KW) wins If the Philadelphia Eagles win, Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) wins One of them will join the other winners. NCAA Bowl Challenge Winner : Left Hand Scissors (GN)  NFL Pick'em 1st Place : Astros! (AP);  2nd Place : Bexo XV (DW) NCAA Pick'em 1st Place : A Northmen (AN);  2nd Place : 18 National Championships (CG) NFL Playoff Week 3 - Conference Championships 1/2 9/23 End of Week Update 1/29/23 Initial Scoreboard Scenarios: 49ers/Bengals AP  49ers/Chiefs AP Eagles/Bengals CG (and RH, CC, GF close) Eagles/Chiefs RK (and KW close) NFL Playoff Week 2 - Divisional Playoffs 1/22/23 End of Week Update: Our leader failed to pick, and AP, RH, and CG took advantage. In BK We Trust (RH) is our new leade...

Losing baseball season isn’t like losing football, but it can still be a difficult event for some. While we are deprived of baseball season’s physical presence, we can still reconcile -- you know what, we’ll figure it out. Below are some ways you are honoring the memory or just moving right along. Sleep Astros! (AP): “Go to sleep on time during the week!” (3)  -- apparently you aren’t into MACtion Beelzebubbles (CC): “Now I can get some decent sleep during the work week” (3) More time for football 18 National Championships (CG): “Plenty of football and golf” (2) Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): “MACtion!” (4) -- yes! Holiday, celebrate! Masks [ON]/OFF (RH): “Fried turkey, gravy and pie, oh my!!” (5) -- love this answer Swamp Dogs (DR): “Christmas!!! Put up that tree!” (3) Any (other) sport will do A Northmen (AN): “bout time to focus on the real sport, table tennis!!” (4) -- feels like a baseball slight T-Horns Fall (AM): “Water polo season is here” (4)  -- I'm on to you guys ...

It’s a mad world. Let’s parse out some good. Everyone gets POSITIVE bonus scores! (One thing though. I forgot to add “in the NFL” to my bonus question, but maybe you guys behaved yourselves) A Northmen (AN): “Brittney's dad will no longer be her conservator! #freebritney” She went on with a bunch of crap about TSwift, but I’ll spare you. On Brit, of course, she should have the right the fk up her life. That’s great news! +4 T-Horns (AM): “Matt Jones developing earlier than expected.” Wait, are we talking about Mac Jones? +2? Astros! (AP): “OU/Texas coming to the SEC!” This is great news. See what happened is Texas got in OU’s head, then Texas “Trojan Horsed” their themselves in the SEC, where Texas will then ruin the SEC from the inside. +3 Buddy the Chimp (BC): “Bananas.” Buddy, you get bananas all the time. Dream bigger. +3 Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): “Just destroying America is not enough for Joe Biden, so he destroyed Afghanistan. I wonder what country will be ne...

Commish: Alright alright alright! Welcome to the third biennial Pick’em Dash Football Ask Me Anything. You asked me anything, and now I’m answering. Wonder how it went? It went fine, and as long as you make it past this intro paragraph, you can see how okay it went. But if you never skip past this intro, folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favorable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least.  Future Mask On (GN): Oh hey. Ask me anything?  Commish: Yep, anything. Let’s go. We’ll start with an easy one. Bevo XV (DW): If freedom is simply being able to do what you want, are animals freer than humans? Commish: Ask the free-range chickens about their freedom.  Katy Tigers (RH): A train leave...

Kyler Murray is so crappy. "How crappy is he?" you say. I'm glad you asked. Ok look. Kyler isn't actually crappy. Most of us would trade places, and we'd be doing a way sh!ttier Kyler than Kyler is doing. But just like we've always viewed sports, and how the Internet has quickly devolved: Everything is either the worst or the best. Kyler is rich, talented, and people genuinely love him. However for a brief moment in P-F NFL Week 7, we will take a look at just how crappy Kyler Murray is. Just remember to keep your head up Kyler, there are tons of footprints in your sand. Like, literally crappy: (+4) Gigem! (AP): He's a little shitty >> It's like you are afraid of commitment Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): Crappier than a newborn's diaper. >> also, little shits Cockypantherfan (SZ): So crappy he leaves shit stains in his underwear >> yeah butt who doesn't General Wartz (JM): Pretty stinky >> like yesterday...

I think know that we all have a little Baker Mayfield crush. Do not deny it. Everyone is either (1) a huge Baker fanatic or (2) a closet Baker lover. You cannot convince me otherwise. What kind of Baker fan are you? (1) Baker fanatics: SoonerTheBetter (BL): Baker-is-the-greatest-QB-in-college-history-and-will-take-Tom-Brady's-place-as- the-greatest-of-all-time-in-the-NFL. That kind of fan. Word up. I’m sure you’ll find no arguments here. +4 Shake and Baker (JN): I was the biggest of Baker fan until my wife informed me she would leave me for him. You need to support your wife. She’s good people. +3 Beelzebubbles (CC): Like, i love love him. Like his underwear modeling is my rotating background. He's the total package. +4 Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): Well, I'm straight, so I can't be a closet Baker lover. I must be a Baker fanatic. Love is not logical. Love is irrational. You get it. +3 The Texans don’t need a GM (CK): Dangerous Move over Queen ...

Despite James Madison's warning of "the tyranny of the majority," I'm okay with most decisions here being majority rule. In our recruitment form this year, I let you vote on changing NFL picks from straight up to against the spread. As a way of documenting the reasons why we do what we do around here, I also gave you the forum to defend your position. However like our democracy here in the United States, or should I say republic, you probably need your commissioner to clarify and validate your opinions. Below are the official commissioner interpretations of what your answer sounded like. Almost no one wanted to switch the NFL contest to against the spread. Why not? I voted for lines. Rest of the league is soft. - BlitzKrieg (RK) This sounds like you aren't interested in some of the solid arguments that are going to follow. I did don’t blame me - Too much pressure to come up with a name quickly (KS) This sounds a little defensive sir, so I DO BLAME Y...