Sunday, December 28, 2008

Week 18 NFL Results

Chris locked up an NFL Pick'em contest win after the early games. Congrats on the Pick'em sweep! 14 of 16 on the final day. Now that's how you win with style.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Week 18 Card *Last Regular Season Card*

Greetings Pick'em-lings,

This is the final NFL Pick'em card for the year. There are only games on Sunday, so the deadline will be before noon 12/28.

Good Luck!

Week 17 Overall Standings - Kelli Kup

Chris has this all but wrapped up... congrats on another Kelli Kup! Sure there is no prize, but I bet you feel the pride.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 17 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Week 17 NFL Results

12/20 10:48PM update: what the heck is wrong w/ the 'boys?

12/21 3:25PM update: Who is interested in that Falcon/Viking game? I am.

12/21 7:03PM update: You know what "Hot"-lanta. Thanks for nothing. Newsflash, Atlanta ain't *that* great. What's so hot about it? Timbaland? Thanks for bringing record-scratching-with-your-mouth back. And Paula Dean's act? Too much fkn butter man... and I like butter, but seriously! Beat it Crap-lanta... you cost me the lead... and there is that too much butter record scratching beat box thing.

12/21 10:35PM update: Dear New York City. You are truly the greatest city in our nation. Thank you for winning in overtime. New York, I love you more than Atlanta... even if you do make your home in New Jersey.

12/22 10:59PM update: Daaaaa Bearsss. Congrats to Gary for being the only person to hit double digits... and he picked the MNF score on the nose. That's not worth sht since there was no need for the tiebreaker this week, but it sure is impressive.

PS - Cain, we are both lucky the league suffered as abysmal of a week as we had. Justin and Amy/Carrie are quietly sneaking up. Only 1 more week folks!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

John Harris' Kick @$$ Newsletter

John Harris is my hero.

2008-2009 Bowl Newsletter

If you donate at John Harris' blog, he is going to give part of the money he makes from the newsletter to Autism Speaks. Also, check out if you want your mind blown with greatness.

Week 16 NFL Bonus

Top 12 "Who Dat"s

#12 - MK: Not the Saints.

#11 - CC: Da Bears, for the 3rd year in a row.

#10 - KW: "Well I'm the King of Boggle, there is none higher, I get eleven points off the word Quagmire."
signed, Beastie Boys

#9 - A-C: Who who?

#8 - CJ: Who da F*CK cares?

#7 - DW: She's all dat!

#6 - JC: On the First Row in the Bull Pen at the Texans/Titans game??
a shout out to me or things that I like are a good way to score points ;)

#5 - GN: I dat.

#4 - CG: Who Dat likes the BCS, Who Dat? I feel for you and I Crystal… Who gives a rats ass about the Cotton Bowl against Ole Miss and who gives a rat's ass about BAMA/Utah? Who dat says the BCS has their heads up their ass? Who Dat, Who Dat, who dat say gonna beat them Saints, who dat!!!
Curtis works in the Saints song... kinda... with a lot of venom.

#3 - KS: Who Dat is the real business, don't be faking the funk on the nasty dunk with the WHO Dey crap. Cuz if you aint who dat den you aint shit.

#2 - KH: (1) Worst winner of Last Comic Standing EVER. (2) A helluva lot better than Who Dey? WTF!?! Their slogan should be Nati Lite cuz they leave an ass taste in your mouf.

#1 - AN: You mean the most incredible lineman ever from Texas A&M?
I forgot about that little guy.

#1 - 5
#2 & #3 - 4
#4 to #9 - 3
#10 to #12 - 2

Week 17 Overall Results - Kelli Kup

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 17 NFL Results

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Where's Week 17 Card?

Wait! You know I have an excuse. Last night some [insert whatever you want here]* T-boned me when I was on the way to Stag's Head for happy hour. I know what you are thinking, if I was going to happy hour then I wasn't really going to get that card out anyway. But that's crap... I would have cranked that out and fixed the mistakes later... that's the Pick'em way.

By the time everything was settled, I wasn't exactly in the card building mood. But now I've created a picture as therapy and I'm ready to get this card out (are there errors? who knows).


Since its a little on the late side, here's what *I'm* going to hit you guys with. Everyone has got Indy for the Thursday game. You get that pick for free. If you don't want Indy, then you gotta email me or just send this card back to me before the kickoff tomorrow night.

Not sure what you are looking at in that picture? Those dudes (at a stop) came across three lanes (no stop) and T-boned me... pushed me clear off the road and into that utility post... sweet! Oh yeah, I'm fine. That car is a beast.

12/30 update: Week 17 Bonus Responses

Kyle (+5): Last night some drunk Russian lesbian stripper named Gary T-boned me when I was on the way to Stag's Head for happy hour.

Dave (+5): Last night BCS System driven by Bob Stoops T-boned me when I was on the way to Stag's Head for happy hour.

* if it were me, I'd insert something like three illegals with no insurance or IDs... but that's just me.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Week 16 NFL Results

I'm a little late in the day posting this, but I have a good excuse. I was sitting front row at the Texans game next to the St. Arnold's dude.

Tee Dee yo!

10:41PM update: Bob is the winner of Survivor... and we have a tie in the NFL Pick'em contest again.

10:40PM (Monday) update: *Yawn* great MNF game... not. Speaking of not that great, what the bleep was up with that Kanye West performance(s) on SNL? Flu? Or Suck? Cher called, she believes in life after auto-tone.

10:49AM (Thursday) update: bonus points updated

Thanks to the Cowboys for getting me that point to tie things back up. I love you guys. I also love this Cowboy Chris guy.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

2008 Bowl Challenge Card - The Leak

This card will show up in an email (hopefully) soon. Until then, blog readers can check it out early.


12/11/08 1:30PM update
Official League Email

Sure, some of you guys may be disappointed that the NCAA regular season is over, maybe hating the way bowl system works, curious how Cain spanked all of us for the entire year at the Pick'em contest, or just now thinking about sending in that $25 to make good on your commitment to play (PayPal: sirrong at, check: 11419 Ella Lee Ln, Houston, TX 77077).

Want to know how to make that Tulsa/Ball St. game on January 6th meaningful? You got it right here peeps. And you've already paid (or will be paying soon, right?) for this game, so listen up.

The Bowl Challenge game is done confidence pool style. There are 34 exciting bowl games this year. If you are positive Texas Tech is going to give Ole Miss a pirate-style beating. Give that a 34. Not sure if Notre Dame is every going to be able to win a bowl game? Give that a 1. Repeat that process 32 more times by clicking the check box next to your pick and then assigning a unique number between 1 and 34 for each game and then watch the excitement unfold.

Ever wonder what the heck those controversial NCAA bonus points were for? I use them for this game, although the philosophy is slightly different than in the past. In previous years, I used to scale the confidence points up to keep the bonus points from being too big of an advantage (i.e. level the playing field a little). This year I'm using a 1-34 regular point system and I scaled the bonus points down so that no person would have more than a 5% point advantage on the field. I admit it (Amy... Carrie...), this distribution of wealth program is a bit communist. But before anyone calls it quits, that scaling hurt me the worst, since I (somehow) finished with the highest amount of bonus points.

The bowl card is due before the kickoff of the EagleBank Bowl on December 20th (10AM Saturday). This beast of a card can be a bit overwhelming, so don't save it until the last minute. NO LATE CARDS WILL BE ACCEPTED.

So to sum (and clear) all this up:
1. Open Card
2. Select your team name from the pulldown list (you'll see your bonus points)
3. Click on the "Bowl Challenge" tab
4. Start making your picks (no spread... picks are straight up) and assign a confidence number for each pick (pull down list, 1-34)
5. Assign bonus points to the games you would like to put a little extra juice on (only select games are eligible for bonus points... you'll be able to tell when you look at the card)
6. After you are all done with your picks and point assignments, check the totals at the bottom and confirm they both read "0".
7. Email me the card before December 20th at 10:00AM Central.

If anyone has any questions, just shoot me an email.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Week 15 Overall Standings - Kelli Kup

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 15 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 15 NCAA Standings - FINAL

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Week 15 NFL Results

here is the play at home version... I don't know about you guys, but I'm particularly interested in the Falcons/'aints and the Bucs/Panther games ;)

3:15PM update: Saints win! no need for a rant this week... yet. Texans win... how 'bout that? Titans win and lock up the AFC South... VY will do that for you... even from the bench.

7:51PM update: Dallas lost... but it's just not as fun for me anymore... I kind of like their team these days.

10:33PM update: Wow... not too many upsets today. Almost everyone is going to end up in the double digits.

Monday, 10:41PM update: I'll leave the semi-humorous geographical rants to Cain this week... The Saints and the Panthers worked for me this week. That means we have another tie up top in the NFL standings again.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Week 15 NCAA Results

here is the play at home version, with three people chasing Cain, but each 5 points away at press time.

2:39PM update: it looks like it'll be a race for 2nd place

5:19PM update: it's a 3-way tie for 2nd place... Cain still holds a 5 point overall lead

7:29PM update: forget the race for the lead... Bob is currently 9 for 9!

7:30PM update: it's 7:30PM Central time, and ou still sucks!

10:25PM update: Cain has this thing all locked up... 2nd place it still up for grabs... Bob's card is still perfect.

10:26PM update: oh Bob *sigh*... I just noticed that you picked Missouri... and here I've been all excited about your perfect card.

10:44PM update: I would NOT want to be playing the sooners right now... damn... nice job running up the score late in the game though, bobby... that's class.

the next day update: (did anyone really stay up for the Hawaii game) Bob misses the last two games of the NCAA regular season after getting his last 13 correct.

Chris wins the NCAA Contest (25% of total pot)

Curtis and Amy/Carrie split 2nd place in the NCAA Contest (5% of total pot each, unless you guys agree to a tiebreaker)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Week 15 Card

Lost your Week 15 Card? Have no fear, download it right HERE.

Week 13 NCAA Bonus Question

I'm gonna try this Google document thing and see how it works.

Week 14 NFL Bonus Results

NFL Contest Bonus Question:
Turkey is kind of dry and boring. What meat would you wrap around or stuff inside the turkey to improve it, and what would you call your turkey culinary invention?

I'm more of a sides guy than a turkey guy, but mostly because turkey is usually dry and boring. This question was clearly inspired by John Madden, and some of you guys just couldn't get the Turducken image out of your head.

Bob's suggestion is to "stuff a hen into a duck and then stuff that into the turkey and you have Turducken. Not my invention, but it fits the bonus question very well" (+1). Gary appologetically suggests Turducken, saying "I know I stole the idea, but it is hard to improve on greatness" (+1). Open ended bonus points are always about creativity, so that just ain't gonna cut it. Is anyone surprised these guys are LSU grads?

Kirby earned some points for referencing John Madden and still coming up with a tasty suggestion, albeit one that Hannibal Lector may enjoy more than your average family. He'll be serving "turkey stuffed with a sweetbread made from John Madden's pancreas" (+4). You may also want to serve his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Kyle kept it gangsta and created a turkey wrapped in cappicola and stuffed with Italian Sausage named Turkey Stugots (+3).

Dave kept it... confusing with his recipe for Turk-Eeyore (turkey stuffed with donkey meat). Maybe there is a connection there that I just can't make (+2).

You know who kept it dirty? Yup, Crystal. Maybe there is an obvious tie in with the NCAA question that everyone missed, but Crystal suggested Gamecock as her tasty mascot and then chose to stuff it in her turkey (+2). I'm pretty sure somehow she just subliminally made me type "stuff a Gamecock in her turkey", although I'm pretty sure that has no real meaning.

Kevin and Chris are battling for first place, and their answers had their respective rival in mind. Chris, referencing Kevin's stock "filling" answer, stuffed his turkey with Erin Andrews and called it the "Kevin Schneider Special" (+3). Kevin got a little more creative with his turkey creation. He said, "I would coat it with a little sugar and after this weekend's college games when Cain gets burned, wrap that around the Turkey and you have a masterpiece, Sugar-Cain Blackened Turkey" (+4). Great answer, only you tanked this week dude.

Next we have the people that understand that bacon is the greatest food on Earth. Justin is trying to make me hungry by putting "butter on the outside to crisp the skin and bacon wrapped andouille sausage inside" (+3). Bacon wrapped sausage? Hellz yes! My recipe is a little more difficult. First I would carefully remove all the turkey and stuff the insides and outsides with bacon. I would call it bacon and serve it with any T-giving side (+2). Bacon makes everything taste better.

Most of that food sounds good, but Amanda's recipe and recipe name is the Pick'em08 Thanksgiving winner. "I would wrap my turkey in pig fat and stuff it with bacon and call it Damn Good Turkey Bacon" (+5).

Last but not least, Amy and Carrie tried the insult-the-judge angle sprinkled it with a little men-are-immature-pigs with their response: "Why is a man's solution always to wrap more meat around it? So disgusting. 'Turkey meat wrapped in meat,' that's what I would call it." Touche... (+1).

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Week 14 NCAA Bonus Results

NCAA Contest Bonus Question:
What college mascot would be the tastiest to serve at Thanksgiving dinner?

Amy and Carrie would serve Trojans (+2) to their guests.

I'm not sure which kind they would be bringing to their table, but I suppose either Trojan would provide some protection.

likes to keep it dirty. She suggested a Gamecock (+2)... and you can bet there was some extra formatting and a space inserted into that rooster.

Ugh, did I just type about inserting something into a rooster? My bad, but speaking of.......

Kyle, fresh off an Oregon bachelor party suggests Peking Duck (+2). You know... Chinese... Thanksgiving... get it? No? Well often Chinese restaurants are the only places open. There is that... or there is Dave's suggestion. He was feelin' some Thanksgiving Duck (+1), only he wanted his with mango salsa (clearly a big fan of Geiko too, I'm sure he extended an invite to the cave men). Justin suggested Duck (+1) as well, he just didn't give any suggestions as to how it should be served.

Curtis and his Crimson Tide are starting to sniff that National Championship. He chose to serve up a little Auburn Tiger (+1) for the last week of the SEC regular season.

War Thanksgiving feasts!

Speaking of Tigers, Bob wants to serve a Texas Longhorn (+1), citing his thirst for the flavors of prime rib and filet mignon. Jess prefers the lean meat and suggested the Colorado Buffalo (+1). Both of them ate Thankgiving in the BigXII I guess.

Gary likes to eat SEC and wants to see some Gator on a stick (+1) at dinner. You can take the man of a Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out the man.

Gators also appear to have very good birthing hips.

most likely googled worst mascots and chose Div III school U.C. Santa Cruz's Banana Slugs (+1). Here is two banana slugs doin' it.

Maybe those could be tasty if you put a little salt on them.

Amanda decided to get all clever and picked the Virginia Tech Hokie (+5)... because it's a "fixed turkey."

Both obvious and super clever at the same time. Well done.

I went with the Kool-Aid-Man-like thing that Western Kentucky uses as a mascot (+3). Beverages always go nice with dinner.

Kevin, who always has his mind on his money and his money on ladies in the entertainment business, suggested LSU's Golden Girls (+3), but with the reservation of whether or not they could be considered meat (he's a gentleman folks).

Kirby either really likes Badger (+4) or he enjoys the irony of suggesting that Wisconsin's mascot be eaten at a Pick'em Thanksgiving (I have awarded points based on the latter).

Holy crap!?! Is that what a badger really looks like??

In hindsight, the best mascot for Thanksgiving dinner may be Dartmouth's unofficial mascot Keggy.

Thanks for all the submissions guys. Bonus points will show up in the next NCAA card that I post (Week 15).

Nastypiece Theater - Week 14

How about a little halftime action? Since marching bands are a polarizing topic for some, I'll keep my comments reserved.

Baby Bambi called, he wants his footing back.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Week 14 Overall Standings - Kelli Kup

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 14 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 14 NCAA Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 14 NFL Results

Amanda wins the week and we have a new leader. Don't get excited folks, it's just Cain ;)

Oh and speaking of the Texans first MNF game, I met up with fellow Pick'em playas Kirby and Justin after they attended the game. We drank a few (more), Justin rode through a Whataburger drive-thru in the fastest golf cart I've ever seen, and we left the bar mere minutes before they probably would have thrown us out anyway. The night ended with Kirby simulating a teabagging of a dead pigeon. Good times.

Check out that sack!

I don't know if it really comes out in the cell phone pic, but that was seriously the flattest pigeon I've ever seen.