Pickem Dash Football

Robots are great y'all. They vacuum your floors, they clean your pool, they build your cars, and they (allegedly) kill your terrorists. Robots do a lot of things that we humans frankly do poorly. This is why I'm shocked robots don't built parking garages. You know how I can prove that we suck at building parking garages? Because there isn't a single one on the entire Earth that is the same. On top of that, all of them suck donkey. Don't tell me that it has to do with footprint. I've seen two adjacent garages on a the same block with two different designs. Parking garages are are like freaking snowflakes. Speaking of robots, Dean's Mediocre Picks (DDa) was just a little more human this week against the spread. Dude has been super silent on his 63% ATS methods. I'll crack that code though. I don't have much else to say about Week 5, a week that I remember most for a lot of bad games. Like I'm sure someone once said, there are no bad games, just ...

How did you do in picking things this week? http://bit.ly/pf14-wk04-ncaa-scores http://bit.ly/pf14-wk04-nfl-scores Don't forget to look for the tabs on the upper left to see the leaderboard, etc. Week 4, like the week before, was a pretty sleepy week of football. NFL had a Super Bowl rematch that was epic-ish, Clemson/FSU wasn't really as good as the drama, your favorite team probably wo--holy sht did you see that Mississippi State guy stomp on LSU -- I mean stomp LSU -- I mean Mississippi State stomped LSU? I guarantee you that no Aggie dude saw it because they were too busy spraying their man sauce all over the walls while watching that animal porn video. I know you've been watching that on repeat, so I don't need to write much about it. Also, this guy already did it better . Let's not get all excited that the cadet did something that 9 out of every 10 normal people would have done. Let's get excited that he did it emoting some much aggyness. Hoot ho...

What's going on in the NFL, you guys? Everyone is either injured, a really bad guy, or injured and a really bad guy!! But these guys are RICH! And we are all a wee bit jealous of that. What if being somewhere on the super shtty guy spectrum was required to be truly great? Could you be great? All of you that answered "Yes" can sit down now, you terrible bastards. I want to talk with the No's.  Have you ever joked, "Who do I have to kill to get..."?  Have you ever joked, "What woman do I have to knock the fk out to get..."  No? Not the last one? Don't get all pissed at me for typing it. Those are just questions, and we can all agree that the answer about domestic violence is deplorable. But murder? That sht is funny. Am I right? I'm just kidding y'all. All this stuff is screwing up the league. Can't we just go back to deciding if Redskins is racist? You can't hate numbers, so check these: NFL WEEK 3 SCO...

At the heart of this game of Pickem-Football is one basic principle: Make good picks . But before you have the opportunity to make these picks, you rely on your game commissioner to pick the games for you to pick. It is with a humble heart that I admit failure this week. Now I don't often fail, but when I do, I almost never admit it. I'm just saying. My picks weren't good this week and I'm ashamed. Real ashamed. Ashamed like the time I couldn't think of what to cook at my BYU themed tailgate and decided just to do spicy chicken quesadillas. They don't eat spicy chicken quesadillas in Utah. Their signature foods at stuff like a potato casserole called funeral potatoes, lime Jell-O with vegetables in it, burgers with pastrami on them (??), and a dipping sauce for fries that mysteriously is just mayo, ketchup, and relish. Seriously, I looked it up . So while I'm eating enjoying my quesadilla it hit me. Jell-O shots. Jell-O shots would have been fkn PERFEC...

Hey league. Shout out from Jury Room #2 and the Harris County court system. Shout out to civic duties. Shout out to all you potential jurors reading this over my shoulder. I know its tight here, but seriously -- this is awkward. I’m in two photos already. Shout out to Facebook posts. People freaking post everything to Facebook these days. One of the pictures is a selfie. Tag me. I’m in the one in the photo with the “Seriously?” look on my face. Week two of FBS games. Week one of NFL games. First blog post. Zero Ray Rices. Anyone ready to change their team name to “Beats by Ray”? That one is still available -- you insensitive bastards. We do have a history here at Pickem-Football for that kind of stuff. Not domestic violence -- you accusatory bastards. I’m talking about insensitivity. Anyone remember when Turn Down for Whats (KW) made that sweet but country strong Sooner fan quit because of his insensitive remarks about sexual abuse? (She was also last in points and hadn't p...

I'M NOT DEAD! What a rough pick'em weekend. Both contests saw pretty low scores. Curiously, for the NCAA contest, everyone scored either 6, 7, or 8 with an average of 7. That's about as average as it gets. The NFL picks averaged 7 correct picks too, but there is bigger news: THE NFL WILL PLAY THE REST OF THE SEASON WITHOUT QUARTERBACKS. But seriously, Vince Young still can't get a job. The Astrodome died yesterday, because if it can't be turned into a convention center then it obviously can't be turned into anything. Houston has as many convention centers at the Astrodomain property and more in the city than the Aggies and Alabama have fake championships, respectively. What is wrong with people anyway? Who is clamoring to host their convention in the city of Houston?   "Howdy, I'm just walking out of my conference at the Astrodome. What do you want to do?" "You are in for a treat my man. Tons of choices. You can walk 2...

SCOREBOARD RECAP: P-F13 Week 3 NFL Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Here is the breakdown for this week. Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: AP (15!) Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: AN, GN, KW, DW, KH, KZ, CCa, JH, CCo, DCo, A-C, CG, JB, JC, JN, AP, KP, MF, DD, DT, ANe, DR, DDi Game of the Week = 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked the Bengals over the Steelers Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, JB, JC, AP, KP, DD, DT, ANe, DDi Weekly bonus question  = 0 to 3 points, subjectively scored. " Who would you rather be, a fat quarterback or a ginger quarterback? " See blog post for scores. LEADERBOARD: Everyone is still in it.

Damn it feels good in Tuscaloosa. Your browser does not support this audio Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta What a game. Real good football. It was actually sad that someone had to lose that. SCOREBOARD RECAP: How'd you do? Check it. P-F13 Week 3 NCAA Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Here is the breakdown for this week. Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: ANe Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: GN, KH, CG, JN, AP, ANe, DDi Game of the Week = BACKDOOR COVER!! 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked the Aggies. Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, JB, JC, AP, KP, DD, DT, ANe, DDi Weekly bonus question  = 0 to 3 points, subjectively scored. "Your Bama/A&M pick.... why?" AGGIES BECAUSE... Inconsistent Losers (ANe): As much as I hate A&M and Johnny Football and all the ridiculous hype, I have to cheer against Alabama and all their fake championships. +2 Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR): 12th man. Not Manziel. Bam...

How about those Cowboys and Texans, huh? Both are on pace to be undefeated this year.   SCOREBOARD RECAP: One person correctly picked Tennessee over Pittsburgh (DT, Dirt Burglars). One person incorrectly picked the Bills over the Patriots (DT, Dirt Burglars). Ballsy week 1 picks. DT finished with 10 of 16. How'd you do? Check it. P-F13 Week 2 NFL Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: GF, JB, DD, DR Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: KW, KH, KZ, CCa, GF, JH, CCo, DCo, A-C, JB, JC, JN, KP, DD, DT, ANe, CS, DR Game of the Week = 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked Philly and Houston: KW, CCa, A-C, JC, CS, DDi Best Bets = 5 pts if all are correct: CCa, DD, GF, JH, JB, KP, KH, MN Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, KP, DD, DDi More INTs Thrown= 3 pts: Look, you guys. It's ALWAYS Romo. It has never NOT been Romo. This week, it WASN'T FREAKING ROMO. Congrats to KW, JH, and MN who didn't pick Romo and accidental...

text updated 12/25/12 4:35 PM SCOREBOARD: Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 17 NFL Card Week 17 NFL Scoreboard Link LEADERBOARD: BONUS: It was a good day for the dog. AGAINST THE SPREAD: New Orleans Saints +3.5 @ Dallas Cowboys -3.5 (2 pts) AGAINST THE SPREAD: Minnesota Vikings +7.5 @ Houston Texans -7.5 (2 pts) Below is a breakdown of the points: 4 pts: DW, RK, CCa, KH, MF, JBe 2 pts: CG, MN, CCo, JC, DD, GN, AP, JHu, JN, ANe, JHa, SE, Lo 0 pts: everyone else.

text last updated 12/16/12 1:18 PM SCORECARD: Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 16 NFL Card LEADERBOARD:

text updated 12/10/12 3:50 PM SCOREBOARD SCORE! via gif.mocksession.com Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 15 NFL Card LEADERBOARD

text updated 12/2/12 7:51 PM SCORECARD: Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 14 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard LEADERBOARD:

Updated 12/2/12 11:07 AM WINNERS: #1 Bliztkrieg #2 TXH8R RK made it interesting, but pulled it out in the end. Congrats to you all. LIVE-ISH SCOREBOARD: Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 14 NCAA Card LIVE-ISH LEADERBOARD:

Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 13 NCAA Card

updated 11/20/12 4:39 PM SCOREBOARD Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 12 NFL Card LEADERBOARD BONUS? It looks to be a defensive battle on MNF. The over/under is 38.5 as of right Thursday morning. Anyone care to take the over? I didn't really assign a point value to the NFL question this week, but the game DID go over (by a half point) AND 9 of you guessed that it would go over (to 10 that answered no). I gave the 9 two points each. CG, MN, RK, CCa, AP, KH, MF, ANe, DT

updated 11/18/12 1 :52 PM APOLOGIES. I wrote last week that the aggies bleeped the SEC's bed. That wasn't shit; that was chocolate, y'all. And we ate it. But Stanford and Baylor bleeped the Pac 12 and Big 12's beds, respectively. No way that is chocolate. It tastes different than the aggies' chocolate. SCOREBOARD What?! You have to play the games? Here are some games. Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 12 NCAA Card (v1.0) - Scorecard Weekly Winner = 3pts. A-C (10/15 picks). Double Digit Card (10+) = 3pts. A-C (10) Paid Entry Fee = 1pt/wk. (62% of league) GN, DW, KS, JHa (new, thanks!) , CCo, DCo, CG, JBe, MN, JC, AP, KP, DD, Lo, DT, JHu, ANe LEADERBOARD WEEK 12 NCAA BONUS: The holidays are coming up. What are you looking forward to most? Levain’s Cookies,  A-C: Good  question. I know, that's why I asked it. +1 Replacement Picks, ANe: Mrs. Claus. I'm afraid to ask. +2 A Northmen, ANo : Round the click football. YES! +4 Gig'em!, A...

updated 11/12/12 11:09 PM The Texans beat da Bears. New Orleans made the '72 Dolphins drink champagne (and almost everyone picked against Atlanta). The Rams and Niners tied. And our leaders have gone from a group of four to a group of three. SCOREBOARD Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 11 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard Weekly Winners = 3pts. RK, CCo, Lo, ANe (11/14 picks). Double Digit Card (12+) = 3pts. None. Paid Entry Fee = 1pt/wk. (55% of league) GN, DW, KS, CCo, DCo, CG, JBe, MN, JC, AP, KP, DD, Lo, DT, JHu, ANe Door #3 = 3 pts Door #2 = 1 pt Door #1 = 5 pts #1 is best y'all. #2 is the worst... first loser. #3 feels pretty good. Below is a fancy trippy chart of the response breakdown. LEADERBOARD

updated 11/13/12 12:49 PM Why -- the -- hell -- isn't Louisville in the BCS Championship conversation!? Oh yeah. Now I remember. And also, I found out Indiana isn't going to win the B1G. The rest of you already knew and picked that. What else, what else? Oh, yes, TEXAS AGGIES DRANK BAMA'S AND THE SEC'S MILKSHAKE!! Congrats, Farmers. You bleeped the SEC's bed, but that win seemed pretty sweet. Hoorah! I've been sitting on that video for months :) SCOREBOARD For the 2nd week in a row, I set the low bar for correct picks... but enough about me. Seriously, how about that Texas Longhorn defense? The league was all over the Wisconsin, South Carolina, Texas, LSU, and Fresno State games. What did they all have in common? The favorites all covered. The games went 8 favs and 7 dogs. On every game that a dog won, the league percentage was under 50%. You guys like favorites. You guys like Johnny Football? He ain't the favorite in this play. ... or a...

updated 11/6/12 4:54PM the administrative stuff. SCOREBOARD Pickem-Football.com 2012 Week 10 NFL Card (v1.0) - Scorecard Weekly Winners = 3pts. DCo, CG, JC, MF (12/15 picks). Double Digit Card (12+) = 3pts. DCo, CG, JC, MF Paid Entry Fee = 1pt/wk. (55% of league) GN, DW, KS, CCo, DCo, CG, JBe, MN, JC, AP, KP, DD, Lo, DT, JHu, ANe Open ended bonus question... coming soon. LEADERBOARD FOUR WAY TIE ON TOP! FOUR WAY TIE ON TOP!! DD, JBe, JC, MF. Good pickin'. BONUS: Name one thing worse than an Eagles/Saints Monday Night Football game. Coming soon.