Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Nastypiece Theater - Week 9

This "weekly" segment finds its roots again with this awesome hit.

Week 9 Notes

ESPN Gameday Will Be In Lubbock

That got me thinking, I wonder what the record is for Gameday appearances for 1 team in a year. That's 3 for Texas now. My guess is the SEC is the only other conference that may have a team with 3 appearances in a year. Anyone know?
(I think I pulled this text from Deadspin)
Sick of Colt McCoy yet? Too bad. You are getting more this upcoming Saturday as UT visits Lubbock, Texas for what is likely the biggest game in the history of Tech football. And of course ESPN GameDay will be there. It’ll be the third UT game in 4 weeks for Chris, Lee and Hollywood Herbstreit. Is it even possible for McCoy to not win the Heisman after all this press? USA Today says forget it, he is the winner. Unless…It’s Colt McCoy’s world and likely his trophy, unless Texas falters this weekend to Graham Harrell’s Texas Tech team.
... Speaking of Colt McCoy

His girlfriend has been showing up on television a lot recently (whenever they show the requisite shot of Colt's dad). Apparently she's a budding ErinAndrews.

, and there is this picture floating around on the internet too.

... Speaking of ESPN College Gameday

Here are some shots I took when Gameday visited Austin for the Mizzou game. Be sure to check out what God thinks of Missouri.

... Speaking of Lubbock

This is a real picture of Lubbock. Friggin' sand aggies.

Willingham Get The Boot

After an 0-7 start (and a particularly tough schedule in my opnion), Willingham was asked to step down. I caught this gem from an AP article: "When asked if it was his decision to leave, Willingham said flatly, "no" and added he never considered resigning."

To be honest, I could care less about u dub football, but Ty is good people... and don't shed too many tears... Ty is due a $1M buyout.

Why Does This Make Me A Little More Happy Than Sad?

The afterparty.

I Hear the Saints Are On A Diet

I'll close down this random post with something from Awful Annoucing

"Oklahoma State has how many rush yards in the first half, 111 yards per carry?" - Doug Flutie

Damn, it sure felt like it.

Week 10 Card

it's nearing noon on wednesday, so I better get this puppy out.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Week 9 Overall - Kelli Kup Standings

Chris' lead shrunk a little thanks to the collective jinxes.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 9 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 9 NCAA Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view... still a MJH coup on the top of the standings.

Week 9 NFL Results

Amy/Carrie pulls off a Pick'em sweep!
Double 11's... how 'bout them apples? Congrats... I guess since I called you trash last week you guys used that as bulletin board material for this week.

The Titans Are Still Undefeated
Who will lose their zero first? The Titans? The Lions? The Bengals? I think I have next week's bonus question.

(No one correctly picked New Orleans to score the most points, so bonus points shown are final)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Week 9: The Jinx

Sorry Chris, but you are kicking our collective asses and something had to be done. Your NCAA picks were just TOO good. In fact, I would swear that you are cheating somehow if I didn't paste your picks into the card myself. So what else was there to do but do a little voodoo.

And it seems the jinx may have worked! Your pedestrian 6 of 15 in the Week 9 NCAA contest is just what us 2nd tier NCAA pickers needed to feel like we are still in the game. Let's hope for a couple more similar weeks. I mean, good luck dude (and I do mean good luck... no... seriously... good luck).

Before I get to the various jinxes and the bonus points scored, it seems I need to explain the point system again. After announcing *my* favorite response to my wife Saturday night, I got yelled at for like 5 or 60 minutes about how its not fair that whoever sends the response that I like the best, even if it's an inside joke, always wins. So here is a clarification: the open ended bonus questions are judged completely objectively... by me only. I'm pretty sure I've made that clear before, but there you guys have it again. Remember (Amanda), this is all just for fun ;)

Below are the jinxes, the bonus points you earned, and my objective reason for assigning that point value.

DW: I still got scoreboard over you last year buddy…the comeback begins today!
...coming from someone who was 19 pts down before this weekend... I dig the optimism.

JC: May you pick like I picked in Week 6 for the remainder of the season.
Here's a decent jinx that loses points for a fact error. You got 7 right in Week 6, but 5 right in Week 7.

A-C: He peaked too early.
Let's hope so... if memory serves me right, he's been on a similar path before.

KW: I fart in his general direction.
...and I can tell you, coming from Kyle, that's an awful thing to say... Kyle's farts may kill brain cells.

RK: Ryan Fitzpatrick sucks.
I agree, and so do Chris' Week 9 picks.

KH: Boogety Boogety
I can't tell if Kirby is trying to tickle Chris, give him candy at his doorstep, or if he's watching NASCAR, but here's a point.

CG: Gree Gree on yo ass CC!
It rhymes... and I like rhymes.

CJ: I don't eat chicken
Typical Crystal... keepin' it random, yo.

AN: CC is so good and consistent he never misses more than two picks.
I'm a big fan of the reverse psychology, and I'm pretty sure anything less than a 3 here would get me in more trouble.

GN: Chris becoming known is Vegas as the guy that moves the lines. In fact, he's even got the upset special of the weekend, and he'll give it to you for free! Just call his toll free number (from a cell phone or other phone with free long distance) and you'll get his upset special by recorded message that is guaranteed to hit or you get the rest of the year completely free.
Of course I have a natural preference for my own stuff. Sue me.

KS: Cain, we all know Mrs. Probst is feeding you your picks, so just come clean and admit it. While you're at it you might as well admit to the torrid love affair you are having with her.
My personal favorite response. Invoking jr high school teachers that hated my guts is an easy way to score big bonus points.

And the winner is...
CC: Bounces off of me and sticks to you, I'm rubber and you're glue.

Ahhh well. Chris flips the script and wins his own jinx contest. But look at it this way folks, he scored as many bonus points as he did real points this week (6... 5 + 1 GOW point). Let's hope for a few more weeks like this one.

Week 9 NCAA Results

...and the Week is over... Texas is still #1 (for one more week at least), the aggies got a win (nice BB Kirby), Michigan has fallen so far that I forgot to put the Mich/Mich St game on the card, Les Miles.. er.. maybe should have gone to Michigan, we had a Sunday night NCAA game, and Amy/Carrie pulled off a win by the tiebreaker.

Oh yeah... Chris Cain *is* mortal... the collective hex of the league has worked.

(bonus points updated)

Friday, October 24, 2008

How About A Quick BCS Discussion

Does anybody *really* like this thing? I mean really. It gets the job done (most of the time), it includes everyone including the small guys (well, not exactly), it has guaranteed us a consensus national champion (oh wait, maybe not a consensus national champion), but it does let computers do a big part of the deciding (yeah!). And name a poll that is the most respected, least biased, and typically the most used to gauge the "ranking" of teams. The AP? Yeah, they aren't even part of this BCS crap anymore.

But at least this mess is a hella good time to discuss! Eh, maybe not. Check out these mind mashing articles... and get out your calculators.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Nastypiece Theater - Week 8

We are four or five weeks in to this segment, and I think the videos are leaning more on the silly side than the nasty side, but oh well. I'll make sure this segment doesn't forget where it came from....... but not this week.

Check out this Iowa State player emerge from the smokey tunnel and run into the goal post. Aggies... you may have a chance this week.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Week 9 Card - The Leak

For all the Pick'em website trolls, here is your WEEK 9 CARD (before it gets emailed).

Week 8 Overall Standings - Kelli Kup

No prize here... only pride. This is why I have named the chase for overall pick'em points not after some of our greatest pick'em performances, but after the pride shown by Kelli when she stood up for right and wrong against the evil words of Kyle.

Kelli Kup Standings -

Movers and Shakers view:

Sorted view:

Week 8 NFL Results

Movers and Shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 8 NCAA Standings

Movers and Shakers view.

Sorted view.

Whoa... it's an MJH top 4... there was a lot of talent in that class.

Week 8 NFL Results

What?! No one got the Cowboys pick right? But how about Rich's picks? RK correctly predicted Oakland would knock off the mighty Jets, which contributed toward his two point win over the field. Hey... and there is a new leader in the NFL contest *bow*

(all weekly bonus points added)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Week 8 NCAA Results

Congrats to Justin for picking 11 correct, being the only person to pick in the double digits, and winning by 2.

(all weekly bonus points added)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Week 8 NFL Bonus

It's baaaaaaack. Just like last week, if you want to score a bonus point for the NFL picks, just leave a comment to this post (make sure to include your name or team name somewhere so I know that you are you).

The deadline for scoring is Tuesday at noon Central time. Again, this is totally an easy reward to those that troll through the website here.

Week 7 Overall Standings

No money here... only pride...

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Nastypiece Theater - Week 7

I couldn't really find a good clip from last week's games, so here is a little kid getting nailed by a kick. That's *always* funny.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Week 8 Card

Exclusive! The leak...

Here's a link to the Week 8 card a day before it gets emailed.

Week 7 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Week 7 NFL Results

...through the Sunday night game...

I guess God had a different plan for his Cowboys. Ew sacrilege! Sorry. I mean, go 'Cards?

Week 7 NCAA Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Colt McCoy... eh... who needs 'em

Sweet Lou...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Week 7 NCAA Results

uuuuuuummmmmmmmmm.... hook'em

Friday, October 10, 2008

Week 7 NFL Bonus

Wanna score a bonus point for the NFL picks this week? This is an easy reward to those that troll through the website here. Just leave a comment to this post (make sure to include your name or team name somewhere so I know that you are you). The deadline for scoring is Tuesday at noon Central time.

Simple +1.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Week 6 Thoughts

Here are some random thoughts from some links I saved and notes I took after last weekend. This stuff was still sitting as a draft in my list of posts, so I figured I should clean it up and publish it.

The Chase
Does anybody find it a little amusing that Chase Daniel is keeping it classy by not ratting on the Cornhusker that spit in his face, but wasn't quite classy enough not to tattle on Nebraska by leaking the "story." Chase, you are looking a little hungry. Eat something.

History Lesson
(text from uwire)
Vanderbilt is 5-0 for the first time in 65 years after beating Auburn for the first time in 53 years. Missouri won at Nebraska for the first time in 30 years, handing the Huskers their worst home loss in 53 years. (That 1955 season was filled with action, huh?) Illinois became the first visiting team in 17 years to score at least 45 points at Michigan Stadium. Bret Bielema, Wisconsin's third-year coach, lost at home for the first time.

The Rams are Breakin' Records
After the 14-31 loss to the Bills, the Rams became the first team of the season to reach a 100-point loss margin. At their current rate of 37 points allowed per game, they will give up 588 points this season, 55 more than the Baltimore Colts did in 1981!

Funny Gameday sign:

Pammy of the Week
"And Iglesias takes it in for the score to make it 35-7." - Rece Davis
"And that makes the score before the Texas game 0-0." - Lou Holtz

Week 7 Card

Before we get to the card, I have a few administrative items to get out of the way.

I don't know if you've noticed, but we've had 2 dropouts this year (and this time they had nothing to do with Kyle accusing them of being rap... um, er, never mind). So now we are a happy group of 18.

I'm assuming since the remaining 18 of you are still around at Week 7, then you're in this for the long haul. So now it's time to talk about that entry fee. A few of you have already paid (thank you), but the majority have been putting off the task. Despite the current economic crisis, trust me, your $25 is safe in the Pick'em bank. You can pay in one of two ways:

Paypal (Email me and i'll send an invoice)

And without further ado... the Week 7 Card (click to download).

Live each moment as if it were your last.
Life becomes more enjoyable if
you think you're about to die.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Week 6 Overall Standings

Wanna know how much ass you are or aren't kicking? Here's the debut of the bragging-rights-only Pick'em08 Overall Standings.

Nastypiece Theater - Week 6

This clip may have been more heartbreaking than bone breaking, but Sage's meltdown is my choice for this week's Nastypiece Theater.

Enjoy *sigh*

Week 6 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 6 NFL Scorecard

Final update... we are all Novacain's beeeaaah.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Your Bailout Plan - Vote

It is time to vote on that bailout measure. Below are the full text answers given for our bonus questions. I couldn't find a poll widget that allowed me more than 10 voting options and it was hard to find one that allowed a lot of characters for each answer, sooooo... I had to use my commissioner's seat to do a little pre-screening of these things. 3 of the league's answers aren't in the poll, but are included below in text. If you *really* want to vote for one of the bailout plans not listed in the poll, you can "write in" a vote in the comment section of this post.

Bonus Question:
Since the Senate is revising the bailout bill, what would you like them to include that would benefit you directly instead of just Wall Street? (1 Pt for answering; 5 Pts max)

Bailout Plans:
(as submitted... in no particular order)
  • A red hot poker up the rectums of Bernanke, Paulson, and the CEOs of Goldman Sachs & JP Morgan.
  • A small slice of the pie for McCain if he promises to never tell another one of his POW/war stories in an interview or debate. WE KNOW, YOU WERE CAPTURED AND TORTURED IN VIETNAM. I'VE HEARD THE STORY IN EVERY SPEECH YOU AND YOUR PUPPET PALIN HAVE GIVEN.
  • I just purchased a new 52 inch 1080p from Conn's…wonder why they go by that name? Ahhh but ESPn never looked sooo good…anyway bail me out on my "you've been conned" bill.
  • The bill to include annual subscriptions to all sports packages on Direct TV.
  • The government needs to bailout and takeover control of self given nicknames teams that have fallen into suckitude, but still insist on using the nickname. The bailout will begin with the Blackshirts and the Wrecking Crew and move on as needed. Details of the plan can be found in the soon to be published "T-Bone" Report.
  • People who aren't fucking loser douche bags who actually pay their mortgage and don't overextend themselves financially get a free pass to the all you can eat Erin Andrews' filled kolache buffet.
  • Give the bonuses of all financial firms' CEOs that failed directly to me. And then for punishment, they all have to relocate to Trenton, NJ, and ride the NJ Transit to work.
  • Elimination of income tax for incomes under $200K.
  • NYT, 09/21/08: "...Wall Street began looking for ways to profit from it. Financial firms were lobbying to have all manner of troubled investments covered, not just those related to mortgages... Nobody wants to be left out of Treasury’s proposal to buy up bad assets of financial institutions." I would benefit directly by being included on the list of the select few that are allowed to loot the U.S. Treasury of every dollar possible.
  • I've always been in favor of an employer provided "health and wellness" account of sort. The money can be applied towards massages, manicures etc. which would stimulate the economy and increase mood and productivity in the workplace.
  • Everyone gets 1 BILLion Dollars :-)
  • To be able to see Russia from MY house.
  • 100 million to purchase a new Texans team that can win a game.
  • Require an intelligence test for people to reproduce, if you're a poor dumbass, no kids. The slogan would be, "If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em."

The Vote
Choose which plan you want to support. I'll assign bonus points based on the vote, but using my executive position make the final decisions. Don't go stuffing the ballot either. IP addesses are logged on the site, but seriously, I'm not going to go back through all that stuff unless I get like 100 votes for one of the options. I also encourage you not to vote for your own plan, but I'm not enforcing that at all. Polls close on Wednesday at noon, so don't procrastinate. GET OUT AND VOTE! (or umm... click below)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Week 6 NCAA Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Novacain domination view.

Week 6 NCAA Scorecard


Oh yeah, and maybe now is a good time to mention Chris not only won, but is picking 67% against the spread!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Jerry Jones takes a Shot

Since I'm not sure how many of you listen to sports radio 8 hrs a day, read the LA Times, or read John McClain's blog on the Chronicle, I'm going to share a little nugget I heard recently here on the blog.

Regarding America's Team's new stadium, Jones said "The Cowboys have never been about checkered tablecloths and boots and hats. They've been about glitz and glitter. Leave that other stuff to the Houston Texans."

Ouch Jerry... ouch.

Jerry is a dbag... that kind of successful business genius dbag I wish I was that is... and I'm not really sure Jerry personifies the spirit of Dallas when you think about it, but I just happen to have something that sums the city of D a little better.

Several months back my sister changed jobs in NYC. Instead of a congrats card, gift, etc I told her I'd think of something original. A haiku was the first random thing that popped into my head. It turns out though, writing a haiku is easy, but a decent haiku after hyping up the "original" gift thing, I needed some tune ups. So I went to topics I am opinionated about: TV, stupid people, Dallas... and for the latter, this was born. I've posted it a few places, but here is it's Pick'em debut.
The Metrosex

Crawling with choch-bags
Wealth of false idol worship
And that’s just Mavs fan
I dedicate this one to you and your city, Jerry... because I've been to Arlington... I used to live in Arlington... and you are right, it *is* all about glitz and glitter. Truuuue dat.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Week 6 Card

League.... Week 6 Card.

Week 6 Card.... League.

Early bird (bonus point) deadline is Friday at noon. Speaking of bonus points, by popular demand, a few bonus questions have been added to this week's card.

Week 5 Thoughts


*sniff* It was a pretty rough week for me... seeing Southern Cal and Dallas lose *sniff*

But lets actually talk some SEC here (moratorium lifted). Florida? Jevon Snead says beat it. Vanderbilt undefeated? Yiiihaaaw! Sure Uga is cute, but Nick Saban locked him out in the backyard.

Given so many LSU alums and supporters here, how do you feel about Saban's success? You guys have been quiet for a while. I know at lease one guy here (cou*curtis*gh) who has a big smile this week after 'bama manhandled the Bulldogs.

November 8th: LSU v. Alabama

On the subject, who is a bigger jackhole, Saban or RichRod?

Other Random Thoughts

Texas A&M is *so* bad that I'm starting to get nervous about losing to them again this Thanksgiving. What the heck is the tamu/baylor line going to be?

Headline: The Beavers busted through the Trojans and Quizz ran all over the place.

The best pass-catch TD combo of all-time in college? Jarrett Dillard and Chase Clement. Wow.

Pammy of the Week

I had heard of Awful Announcing, but just recently headed over there to read the site... probably the funniest is the Pammy's, which are a list of funny/odd/incorrect things announcers have said while calling thier game.

So I'll end this post with my favorite from their list:

"This is an old-fashioned, country butt-kicking... and Georgia is supplying the butt." - Mike Patrick