Sunday, September 25, 2016

P-F16: Week 4 NCAA Bonus: How many points do the Longhorns give up in the bye week?

How many points would the Longhorns give up in the bye week? Who knows, but opening up your end zone to the opposition is definitely not against Charlie's core values.

I could tell that not all of you guys like the open ended nonsensical bonus questions, but I'm using my commissioner powers to give some of you points beyond the stated 2 points for answering. The answers came in some basic categories.

Cactie (DCo): Huh!!!!! The question is how many points do the Longhorns give up in the bye week. Since it is the bye week, you would think that the correct answer would be zero, but if you saw the box score on any of the recent games, it appears that teams are still scoring even as I type this post! +2

Huntwick Hosers (KW): Loaded question, my answer is purple. Better question, how many will the Purple Wizard score on this D in Manhattan, Kansas. But also no, this question is not loaded. +2

Gig'em (AP): Depends on how many more starters get arrested this weekend. The answer is zero. Zero more staters got arrested. +2

General Wartz (JM): Are they home or away? They are all at home, except one player. +2

I Look Good On Top (BF): All of them. Pretty much +2

Beelzebubbles (CCo): alot. Relatively +2

AM, MM, JD, JB, ANe, MF, SS, JN, DT, KZ, JC, MN, KS, GN +2

For anyone looking to lay down money on the next bye week, for those that guessed numbers, the average was just under two touchdowns. Take the over.

Swamp Dogs (DR): A half point. I see what you did there +2

Slay All Day (CK): Who cares. OU SUCKS. OU does suck a lot, but not as much as I want them to at football. +2

Tannesaurus Rex (CT): 18 ethics points for covering up a concussion. Uh nice one. +2

Phlying Hellfish (AD): Less than Texas Tech, barely. Tech also had a bye week, so this may have been the unintentionally funny response of the week! +3

Crigga88 (CR): Who cares about the trash longhorns!! Gig Em Aggies. I'm sure you didn't get a chance to check since your dick was so wet with hog. +3

A Northmen (AN): 3. The defence is being worked pretty hard in practice. Yeah the defense is getting worked. AMIRITE?! +3

InnocentBystander (BJ): They find themselves in a defensive struggle where the defense struggles mightily. That's the general narrative unfortunately. +3

Maybe the question should have been, how many vodka drinks does it take to put a 320 lb man's BAC over twice the legal limit? But remember, the question was "How many points do the Longhorns give up in the bye week?"

16 National Championships (CG): I'm just praying for no arrests. Oh, I may have some bad news. +2

Bevo XV (DW): One drunk driving lineman. Ha +3

BlitzKrieg (RK): .178 -- I expect Kent to get over .20 if he is going to pass out in a drive-thru lane. I suppose for as large as he is, though, that was a fair amount of alcohol. I agree. +3

Lost Cause (JH): 1.2 points on the breathalyzer. I've never blown *knock on wood*, but I think that is too many breathalyzer points. +3


Creekside Body Count (KH): Easy 40-41 points...In 2015 the Longhorns gave up 41 in the byu week, and in 2014 the Longhorns gave up 40 on the byu week. Mark it down. Take it to the bank. Thank me later. +4

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

P-F16 Week 4 Card and Scoreboard Links

NCAA Pick'em

NFL Pick'em

P-F16 Week 3 NFL Bonus: We banned Baylor from P-F16 last week. What should we ban in the NFL?

Protesting is easy. Protesting is kind of fun. Life is often too stable, and from what Jurassic Park taught me about Chaos Theory, protesting feels right because it probably is right. Therefore henceforth and until such time as we lose interest, we shall balance the P-F force and protest something NFL. What is your vote?

We should ban banning. It's offensive.
-Huntwick Hosers (+1)
I know the anthem was on your mind, but JJ Abrams has already fixed America.

(Gig'em; I Look Good On Top; InnocentBystander; 16 National Championships +2)

Cleveland got a few votes. You think their owner cares what you think?

(Pimp Possee; One Little, Two Little, Three Little Donkeys; Butt Pickers +2)

It's also way too easy to ban the Cowboys. They have been banning themselves from the relevance for a generation.

(A Northmen; Phlying Hellfish +2. Phlying Hellfish +3 for banning Jerry Jones from decisions)

You guys, I'm not going to ban Tampa Bay, Kubiak, Peter King, Mark Sanchez, or Colt v Denver (defense!). Plus Sanchez gets a lifetime pass for gifting us butt fumble.

(Tannesaurus Rex; Accidentchild; Slay All Day; Crigga88; Alexandria Cyclones +2)

Bevo XV AND Shake and Baker both have great team names, and bot think Thursday Night games are lousy and they should be banned because NO THEY DON'T IT'S FOOTBALL DUDES. -2!

But let's talk about those color rush unis. We could probably ban those, but the Browns' unis are the sh!t. Amirite?

(Swamp Dogs +3)

Speaking of the Browns' uniforms, holy sh!t I googled "athletes peeing on the field" and got 210,000 results. I guess we could ban that, but sometime you gotta go.

(By the way, if you google "Browns uniforms are shit," you get 931,000 results! Beelzebubbles +3)

For some reason, Lost Cause wants to ban shots to the head. I don't get it though, because that is where shots are supposed to go. +2

Victor Cruz's TD dance?

I'm jus' keeding! (General Wartz +2)

If you write a whole paragraph about dancing for your answer, then I just quote you.
[Ban] celebration/taunting penalties, bring back the USFL days. You're a grown ass man, if you did your job better the other guy probably wouldn't taunt you, plus it could be a try out for next years dancing with the stars.
(Siemian's Stallions +4)

We are getting close to the end, and I need to pick something to ban. Defensive Holding! Let's do it. Defensive holding sucks and -- wait never mind

(One Man Wolfpack +3)

I'm biased, but I think we should ban whatever TV rule it is that keeps 2 FOX and 2 CBS games from being on TV every weekend. Alternating double header weekends and home team rules are stupid. +1000 me.

But seriously, if The Velvet Neutral Ground was in charge, he would ban Chris Berman, children, and light beer. He's more dangerous for America then Trump IMHO. -666

What. Do. We. Ban. ?? That Baylor sh!t was bad. Where's the yin to that yang? The ting to that tang tang?

The 3 piece, potato and a veggie goes to Creekside Body Count, who came up with the absolute best way to honor the ban.
Rather than a ban, the Patriots should be listed as the Cheating Chowder Heads on the card
We are totally doing that. +5