Tuesday, October 29, 2013

P-F13: Week 9 Recap

Tech and Missouri drop from the ranks of the undefeated. Heartbreaking. But seriously, how about that LSU/Furman game?
The Northmen (ANo) filed a perfect NFL card this week -- a truly rare feat. I googled my email and found that our last perfect card was, like, a whole year ago (10/22/12, One Man Wolfpack (MF), NFL Week 8). Before that Monday Night game, I apparently did some P-F history research and wrote the following:

Speaking of correct picks, a perfect card is nearly impossible. One of you old-timers can correct me if I'm wrong, but I only remember it happening twice ever. The most impressive of the two was Northmen's (ANo) perfect weekend, where she correctly picked 15 NCAA games and a full slate of NFL games (16). Mr. Smokeypants almost lived out a little league version of this feat this week. Smokeypants capitalized on an abbreviated card (I accidentally left off one game) during the bye-week part of the NFL schedule and had 11 of 11 picks correct going into the HUGE Ravens-Jags game. Unfortunately he got Flacco'ed.

Pick'em recorded history isn't without its holes, but I could only find 2 NCAA perfect cards and 2 NFL perfect cards. A Northmen's (ANo) perfect weekend was insane and will probably never be matched. She also has the other recorded perfect NCAA card. The 2nd perfect NFL card was by someone not in the league anymore.
We have had 6 perfect cards in the 14 year history of the league, 2 NCAA and 4 NFL. Northmen have 4 of those 6, including the only two ever in NCAA against the spread. That is Hall of Fame bleep right there.
Enough about history, how about the P-F13 NCAA Contest.
Week 9 NCAA
NCAA Contest Leaderboard
Top 5

81 Gig'em! (AP)
80 Double D (DD)
77 Naked Bootleggers (JN)
77 Cactie (DCo)
76 Inconsistent Losers (ANe)
And the P-F13 NFL Contest.
Week 9 NFL
NFL Contest Leaderboard
Top 5

83 Yazoo Meat Muffins (KP)
82 Pimp Possee (JB)
82 The Velvet Neutral Ground (JC)
81 Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR)
79 Mad Bomber (KZ)
Finally, just in case you aren't checking all hours of the day for updates to the website, you may want to go check out the Texas State Fair food post. You guys were great again.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

P-F13: Design Your Own State Fair of Texas Food (Week 7 NCAA Bonus)

Even though the 2013 iteration of the Texas State Fair came to an end on October 20th, we here at Pickem Dash Football didn't want to miss the chance to review our favorite new food booths.

Most of you kept with the grand tradition of state fairs and deep fried foods.

BOOTH #22 - The Northmen (ANo): Deep Fried Macaroons.
I googled deep fried macaroons, and what do you know, several people have tried doing this. For any of our Houston pickers who are interested in a good macaroon, check out the honey and goat cheese macaroon at Central Market or just about anything at Petite Sweets on Alabama near Kirby. Their bacon jam pancake mini cupcakes are fantastic as well. +3

BOOTH #A6 - Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C): Fried pork dumpling ... on a stick.
And for those not talented at the chop stick, that is pretty much how they would be eaten. I wish Booth #2 had a sauce with these, but I'll eat a dumpling any day. +3 (and now I'm really craving pork dumplings)

BOOTH #69 - Chicainery (CCa): Chicken fried Erin Andrews ... you're welcome Goon!
Spoiler alert. Barrel Aged Donkey's booth is not serving deep fried Erin Andrews Kolaches this year. I bet Erin Andrews is absolutely delicious with gravy and ketchup. +5

BOOTH #46 - 15 National Championships (CG): Deep Fried Maker's Mark.
Even better was the deep fried Baconized Maker's Mark. Intoxicating. +3

BOOTH  #14 - Bevo XIV (DW): Eggs stuffed in scrapple and deep fried. (Yes. Scrapple.)
So there is this scrapple brick thing with eggs stuffed in it and then fried. Who wouldn't give that a try? For those of you who don't know what they are ordering here, Wikipedia describes Scrapple, also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name pon haus, as traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. +4 Of course I'm down.

BOOTH #39 - Pimp Possee (JB): Crawfish stuffed Twinkies chicken fried on a stick.
Fried Twinkies are old news at state fairs, but savory stuffed and fried. Yessirr. +4

BOOTH #2 - The Velvet Neutral Ground (JC): Deep Fried Cow Patties.
Gross. I didn't go here. +2

BOOTH #4 - Naked Bootleggers (JN): Fried Beer on a Stick.
The problem with this item is that 1) It isn't carbonated, 2) It isn't cold, and 3) it just isn't as good as regular beer. I'll eat anything fried and on a stick once, and I'll eat fried beer on a stick only once. +2

BOOTH 8.5% - Barrel Aged Donkey (KS): Fried bourbon barrel aged stout.
This offering suffered from the same problems as Booth #4, but if you've ever fried a barrel, then you'll know there is something delicious here that can't be ignored. I paired this item with the Chicken Fried Erin Andrews. A+ pairing. +3

BOOTH TRI - The Creekside Purple Sacks (KH): Fried Jalebi.
It looked like an Indian funnel cake. Check it. They don't call them fried funnel cakes though, I'm just saying. +3

BOOTH #28 - AccidentChild (MN): Fried cake, covered in gravy.
Cranberry cake. Smart. And since it is the fair, why not fry it. +3

BOOTH LOS DOS - One Man Wolfpack (MF): Deep fried, T-bone steak breakfast taco, then deep fried again.
The most texican fair item. I put queso on this -- just because. +4

BOOTH #750 - Mad Bomber (KZ): Fried fireball whiskey.
How do you make whiskey a party drink? You spice it with cinnamon. How do you bring the party to the fair? You deep fry it. It's fun and totally gross, but it fits at the state fair. +3

BOOTH #13 - Gig'em! (AP): Deep fried Bevo.
Pass. +2

Some people know that bacon makes things better.

BOOTH #911 - Inconsistent Losers (ANe): Bacon-wrapped Chocolate-dipped Funnel cake.
This could have gone in the fried section, but it was the bacon wrapping that made this dish stand out. Somehow they wrapped the dough (double fried?) in bacon and then covered the whole thing in chocolate. Simple idea. Magical execution. +4

BOOTH #8 - Dirt Burglars (DT): Pretzel stuffed with bacon, wrapped in bacon, dipped in chocolate, drizzled in white chocolate, smothered in whip cream, with hot fudge and sprinkles.
This is best eaten with a double IPA. Good night. +5

BOOTH #93 - 93Bronco (GF): Venibasteak. (An excellent compliment to the Turduckin. Select cuts of venison and steak wrapped around by strips of bacon and (of course) deep fried.  Classic state fair food.)
Hmmm. Fried Venibasteak. I was only familiar with grilled venibasteak. The fried version would have gotten 5 points if it was pairing with something sweet like a blackberry chipotle sauce. +4

Healthy Items
At a state fair, healthy is relative. Here are some items that aren't fried or wrapped in bacon.

BOOTH #2009 - Beelzebubbles (CCo): Frozen Menudo on a stick. With Hominy. Salty Limon on the side to garnish for taste.
I wanted to like this, but you have to like cold soup to enjoy frozen menudo. Or savory popsicles. +5 for originality. 

BOOTH OO - Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR): Blonde with a great big pair of ... dark brown eyes. Holding a slice of pie.
This was a *really* popular booth, and I couldn't tell if anything was actually for sale. All I could tell was that nothing was happening for me here. +3

BOOTH #* - Ferments-A-Lot (GN): Longhorn meat and longhorn cheddar cheese kolaches with free dirt cake samples.
Get it? +3

BOOTH #21 - Yazoo Meat Muffins (KP): 21 ounce t- bone steak marinated with Texas style spice rub...medium to rare of course.
You can question the technique (marinated or rubbed?), but you can't question the flavor. Yum. I paired this with Booth #46's fried Maker's Mark. +3

And The Winner Is ...
BOOTH #1 - Double D (DD): Deep fried has been all the rage for a few years but after a while everything looks and tastes about the same after being dunked in a vat of boiling pig fat and flash fried.

In the spirit of Texas we're going to build a miniature electric chair and strap a live chicken wearing sooner shirt and every time the sooners score or the longhorns fumble we're going to give a jolt.

At the end of the game we're going to roll it in powdered sugar and beer and call it Chair Fried Brown Mack Chicken.


Good job. Good effort. Good picking.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Monday, October 14, 2013

P-F13 Week 7: Monday Mourning, Afternoon Delight

Did your weekend pass too quickly?

Let me catch you up.

Mizzou is undefeated. The SEC wanted Big XII teams, and the SEC got Big XII teams. Or was Georgia just overrated? You guys can figure that out.

I just want to post this picture.

Message to fans: Don't make faces that gif'able when you are at a game that is being televised.

Message to sports television producers: If you show the poor lady when she was sad about losing, you MUST go back and show her again when she is happy about winning. How awesome would that aggie comedy/tragedy poster be?

And speaking of tragedies, 1st place The Paperboys' (KW) priorities were to murder animals from a distance and not to use his wireless pocket phone to make picks. But seriously, may your shots be straighter than your priorities, and I hope some tasty summer sausage comes from this.

How accurate were you this week with your NCAA picks? Better than Michigan and Penn State kicking field goals?

Week 7 NCAA Links:
Overall NCAA Leaderboard (new leader, AP)

Sean Payton is not impressed with your NFL picks.

But to be fair, neither is McKayla Maroney.

Week 7 NFL Links:
Overall NFL Leaderboard (new leader, KP)

NFL Bonus: Pick 3 games against the spread. (5 bonus points ONLY IF all 3 picks are correct.)
Correct picks: Jacksonville +27.5 (JAX 19, DEN 35), St. Louis +7.5 (STL 39, HOU 13), Dallas -5.5 (WAS 16, DAL 31)
Winners: DW, MF, DDi

Sunday, October 6, 2013

P-F13: Mini Horses vs Irish Fellows (Week 5 NCAA Bonus)

I think everyone knows who would take this thing, but let's see what you guys said.

Obviously miniature horses would win because of their
low center of gravity and scary pig faces
The horse, of course: Mad Bomber (KZ), Gig'em! (AP) +1

The horse, because the Irish are drunks: 15 National Championships (CG), Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR) +1

Haven't you seen the cartoons where the horse launches the people into oblivion with their hind legs? Short Irish fellows are people too, albeit little people. -Dirt Burglars (DT) +3, Solid argument

Is the miniature horse pulling a stupid Conestoga wagon? Because that might change everything if he goes all Oregon Trail on the wee Irish lad. I think I would go all in on the horse though because the Irish contingent would probably be all into the Guinness allowing the horse to knock him the fk out. -Barrel Aged Donkey (KS) +4, I died one time on the Oregon Trail after the Conestoga wagon went all up on me and my band of wee lads.

What color is the miniature horse? If it's pink then I say mini horse. I don't like green and gold little people...creep me out! -Yazoo Meat Muffins (KP) +3 Everything about this answer is creepy and awesome.

Miniature horse, every time. Just because the Irish Catholic guy is drunk and feels no pain, a horse doesn't drink and maintains full control of it's bodily functions. -The Paperboys (KW) +3 I don't know, have you ever seen a miniature horse pee?

Before I answer this, who the hell uses the "printable card" option for their picks? This was requested by the team known this year as Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C) when we switched over from Excel spreadsheets to Google docs. I use it sometimes at my desk before putting them in the online form. +1

Horse by a nose but only cause the Irish are drunks. -AccidentChild (MN) +1

Obviously the wee Irish fellow because all he has to do is take out one horse ankle and that thing must be put down and sent to the glue factory

Short Irish fellow because they have awesome accents! Horses can't talk silly :-) -The Northmen (ANo) +2 The Irish fellow wins the Battle Rap Olympics every time over the horse.

The Irish, especially if the Irish fellow was the guy on Braveheart? One of the best all time. -Inconsistent Losers (ANe) +2 That Braveheart guy was a maniac.

Irish fellow. Chances are, he's a gingy. -Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C) +4 A good reset is worth an extra point.

Short irish fellow. They have that pot of gold, all that luck, and they're always over-rated. Just don't ask me to handicap the Irish against the imaginary girlfriend. -Double D (DD) +3 Those magical creatures are always good for one or two kinky imaginary friends.

Always take the Leprechaun. -93Bronco (GF) +1 Unless of course, a horse is needed.

Short Irish fellow would glide over the rainbow to win. -Lost Cause (JH) +2 Oh, I can totally picture that.

The short Irish fellow. If he loses the fight he can just lie to his imaginary girlfriend and say he won. -The Velvet Neutral Ground (JC) +2 She's [not] dead.

The Irish. Gotta have some luck in even matchups. -Naked Bootleggers (JN) +3 Has anyone ever questioned this Irish luck thing? It seems like the they may be claiming bad luck too.

Obviously you got jokes and/or have 
no idea who would win the match-up

Everybody wins in this scenario, especially the fans! -chicainery (CCa) +2 But does it make money, because that's more important?

Neither, the mini-Ditka would win. -Bevo XIV (DW) +3 This may be funny, but I don't get it.

The fat, ginger quarterback that ate them. -The Creekside Purple Sacks (KH) +3 Haaa.

We talking about racing or fighting here? I think they should join up to create the ultimate college mascot, he could even use the Florida St Seminoles weapon to create the ultimate trifecta. -One Man Wolfpack (MF) +4 So this ultimate trifecta is a miniature pig-faced drunk ginger centaur with a spear? I'm scared.

Camel vs. Midgets in relay race. Photo finish. Depends which little person is racing last. -Pimp Possee (JB) +5