Sunday, November 30, 2008

Week 14 NFL - Live Bloggin' It... why not?

The Texans play on Monday and I'll probably be spending the day waiting to be disappointed by polls consisting of ballots cast by non-football experts, how 'bout a little live blogging (we'll see how long this lasts).

~8:30-11:00: I've spent the morning avoiding NFL talk and trying to find shows on TV talking college football. It seems most TV guys like Texas. I'm not sure if that pisses me off more or not. TBD.

11:00AM: Eh... no more college football talk. Time to hit up the TiVo for entertainment. Survivor time.

11:01AM: WTF! recap show!? Recap shows blow, even if they do show some extra footage. Whatever. Thanks for nothing CBS.

12:02PM: My disinterest in the Survivor recap has led to a lot of pausing and leaving the room. It's still on as the games are kicking off. Bleep it... I'm finishing this crappy recap show. Good thing I have 4 TVs in the living room right now.

12:07PM: Oh yeah... I forgot to mention the Plax story. Can someone explain to me why sports stars think they need to bring a gun to a club? Too bad the bullet didn't hit anything fun. Speaking of missing some news. I was surfing around last night and noticed that the terrorist attacks in India was not on CNN's list of top stories. Nice one Ted Turner.

12:17PM: The AP moved Texas ahead of OU... for whatever that is worth.

12:18PM: The Coaches' poll moved Texas...... ahead of Florida. OU is still #2. What a worthless poll.

12:35PM: First adult beverage.

12:42PM: Just scanned to see which NFL games I feel are very important today.

Noon Game - Carolina/Green Bay: Go Cheese!
Afternoon Game - Atlanta/San Diego: West Side!

I love you Cain, but there is a wall.

12:48PM: Just peeked at the Green Bay score... (best Jack Bauer voice) Damnit!

2:12PM: I had to do some cleaning and rearranging to prepare for a xmas tree... let's see what I missed. The Giants are for real. Indy/Cleveland 3-6?? The Packers just tied it up. You know who else is for real? The Titans... or does anybody outside of Nashville really believe in the Titans. I'm not sure I do, but I can tell you why they are so successful: Vince Young. He's got healing power. He's magic. He's Superman. Laughing yet? Seriously, he's like Superman. He makes great things happen and then just sits back as Clark Kent going: "golly gee Lois." Vince on the sideline alone may win the Titans a championship. Stop laughing. I ain't kidding.

2:59PM: Boring Indy game over. I love bonus coverage.

3:10PM: Giants game over. More bonus coverage.

3:13PM: Bleep bleep it Green Bay! You know what? Beat it cheese! You want great cheese folks. How about some Maytag. That's made in Iowa. Want a cheddar flavorgasm? Try Tillamook. They make that in Oregon and it one of the best cheddars you can put in your mouth. Beat it Green Bay... you cost me the lead... and there is that cheese thing.

3:15PM: 3rd beer.

3:24PM: Human polls are out. It looks like it'll be the Coaches poll (ou #2?!) that may screw the horns. More beer.

3:35PM: BCS poll out. Fuck.

3:45PM: Nope... horns got fucked by computers.

3:58PM: I'm a little better now... here is the updated card.

4:00PM: I want to watch Atlanta/San Diego... CBS says I get to watch Pittsburgh/New England. Compromise: Top Chef.

Although, Matt Cassel's QBing (word?) is impressive. But off to a small TV with closed captioning on with you Matt.

4:09PM: Quickfire challenge... surprise mid-challenge curve ball... soup! Yeah, Top Chef is bringing me back after a bummer of an afternoon. 5th beer anyway.

5:11PM: Quick peak at all the scores... wow... all games are close... I wish I had DirectTV.

6:43PM: Bleep bleep it left coast! You know what? Beat it California! And by the way, your food sucks. All your froo froo cake boy ingredients and small portions. It's not cool. It's just not good. And thanks for charging me twice as much for half as good and four times the suck. Beat it Chargers. ... you cost me another point from the lead... and there is that crappy food thing.

6th beer.

6:52PM: Updated card.

10:41PM: An It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Amazing Race, and The Shield later... here's the final update of the day.

Week 14 NCAA Results

it WAS chris/kevin showdown week... next week should be chris victory lap week.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dear BCS, From a Longhorn:

With apologies to the fighting agricultures (sorry that it seems like we are overlooking your big game, but you are 35 point dogs), to BCS disciples, and to blow-u (nah... not to those guys in Norman). Below are some signs that I hear may be floating around on National TV throughout some weekend games.

hey... if you made it this far down the post, here is a good read:

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Week 13 NFL Results

uh oh... it's a tie up top now.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Week 13 NCAA Results

uh oh... watch out Cain... Kevin is knocking on the door.

and all is right in the world... tech really does suck.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Nastypiece Theater - Week 12

I don't want to break my streak of posting big and/or gross hits every week, so I went searching around today. While I didn't find anything football from the football field, I did find this (sorry, I forgot the blog I pulled it from so I can't give them a credit):

(big hit is at the end of the video)

Week 13 Card

for those that lost their card or need to download one last minute... here ya go.

just a note... check for the backward lines on the wvu/louisville and wash/wash st. games. that should make your picking easier.

and how 'bout a Pammy:
"Somebody plugged the hole and then gave it to him right up under his chin."- Brad Nessler

Thursday, November 20, 2008

No Trophies

I don't know if I'll find myself rooting one way or the other on Saturday night. Longhorns, unlike the ags, don't have any sort of hate toward the sand aggies, mostly just their annoying fans. Blow-u, on the other hand, is a team Longhorns never want to see succeed. I could rant about my disdain for everything that is mobile-homa, but I've got work to do today (plus, it'll just get me all p!ssed and I would rather stay in a good place). Those nut twisting dust lovin' hicks... no seriously, I'm done.

Maybe Longhorns should feel sorry for their little buddies in the desert. Their brand of football is pretty fun to watch, even if it hasn't really been anything but a novelty until recently. Plus, I really don't want to see another trophy land in Norman. I suppose Tech kinda needs something besides pirate paraphernalia laying around.

I find myself being a huge Missouri Tiger fan these days anyway. Moo Moo Mizzou!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


This article has got to be the worst argument against a playoff that I've ever seen from a legitimate source.

Walters, Michael Moore called, he thought your logic was a bit of a stretch.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Week 12 NCAA, NFL, and Overall (Kelli Kup) Standings

All in one neat package!

No movers and shakers view this week. I was lucky to get an accurate rebuild of the Pick'em spreadsheet.

Oh yeah... ummm... and this is the 100th post!!! for whatever that is worth.

Week 12 NFL Results

The NFL piece of Pick'em has been restored now too.

The Eagles/Bangles game ended in a tie. From a Pick'em score perspective, it's just a push. From an aesthetics standpoint, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm NOT altering the scorecard to show the tie in the record.

Week 12 NCAA Results - IT'S UP!

well... this card "looks" like the old ones, has some behind the scenes functionality, and the Pick'em points have been matched to my archives... i'm still p!ssed, but life goes on.

EDIT: I just noticed... this is the 100th post. Woohoo!
EDIT2: Damn... I just noticed that I have 2 posts that never made it out of draft status, so this is actually the 98th post.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Black Saturday

Somehow the Excel files in the Pick'em on my portable hard drive became corrupt. I am going to have to rebuild everything from scratch. I have .jpg screen captures, so everyone's score be preserved, but the rebuilding may take me a while.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Change. We Need.

Since this week's updates have all been pictures/videos and have not included any useful insight from me, why not keep it going?

You "change" freaks out there may appreciate this picture taken at the LSU game.

Bring it on!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Baylor Is On The Map

If the aggies were actually as great as, then the world would have more whooops, howdies, farmers, stores selling overalls, and don't-ask-don't-tell servicemen. Until then, here is a funny from the zany folks at the aggie blog.

Week 12 Card

whoops... sorry blog readers/card downloaders.

I forgot to post the card this week... until now! booyaah and stuff.


Here's One for Tech Fans

If anyone has watched an Okie St game, you've probably seen their... ummm... rather elementary way of calling plays in to their players. Mike Gundy may be 40 41, but the kids certainly are not. Apparently bright colors and big pictures are more on their level.

And in yet another reason to put on the books of why the internet is the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of the world, check out what play the Cowboys should have been calling last Saturday night.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Week 11 NCAA Bonus - If I Were President...

If I ruled the world, was king on the throne
I'd make peace in every culture, build the homeless a home
I'm not runnin, for Congress or the President
I'm just here, to tell the world, how my story went
You see - first it was a dream, I was livin in Rome
And then I moved to London, bought a brand new home
And everywhere I went, I drew lots of attention
Like a stretch limousine, one of those new inventions
It took a few years 'fore the day had come
But I was ruler of the WORLD ranked number one
So I headed towards Washington to claim the crown
Let the whole world know that, the King was in town
As I, arrived, the crowd started to cheer
and then someone yelled out, "The King is here!"
So I headed toward stage, to make a speech
about the new style of living I was gonna teach, uh-huh

-Mr Blow
Lets all be honest... who really wants to rule the world... or the country... what a sht job. But sports... now that's a chair I'd like to sit in. I'm not sure if this bonus question is worth a vote, but below are the platforms submitted from the Pickem candidates for President of Sports.

(note: for those whose sarcasm detectors weren't working that well during my last open ended bonus question post, point values will not be assigned very objectively)

If you were elected as President of Sports, what change would you bring?

CJ: my underwear
...hmmm, you would bring a change of underwear... very sensible... and practical too I guess.

CC: Teams that play in taxpayer-funded stadiums would have broadcasts available to the taxpayers and not squirreled away on some pay channel or blacked out. NCAA rules preventing college athletes from making any money would be abolished. Disc golf would get the exposure it deserves.
Great platform, but your ideas will probably run sports into the ground. I mean, disc golf exposure?

A-C: I'd increase ticket prices for season ticket holders and give away free tickets to the poor.

RK: I would not choose games with greater than a 35 point spread in lieu of the battle for Jesus' love (BC vs. ND)
Ooooh... insulting the commissioner... that's a good way to get minimum points... I forgot, how did that game go? Go ahead and leave a comment on this post with that score... I'm a little busy to look it up ;) (ok. +1)

GN: If I Ruled The (Sports) World
Just some thoughts for the mind..
I take a glimpse into time..
Watch the blimp read "The World of Sports is Mine."
So that blimp thing and also I would shorten the baseball and basketball seasons because they encroach on football season. Word up.
Holy crap I'm good at biting rhymes.

JC: Eight Team Playoff to Replace BCS, chosen by a selection committee. Create a challenge series whereby each college football team in a major conference has to play two teams from other major conferences as non-conference games. Shorten the NBA season to 64 games. Shorten the MLB regular season to 120 games and add another round to the playoffs.
Just the kind of sensible changes that I would give *my* vote to.

KH: Jinx Cain
Kirby runs a VERY negative campaign

AN: I would cut baseball and basketball out of the equation and make football go for a few more months!
I lean toward the football party.

RH: Establish a playoff for FBS (formerly Division IA) football.
Playoffs?! Don't talk about playoffs! Are you kidding me? Playoffs?! -JM

JH: Put an end to the BCS and implement a playoff.
Clearly a member of the Hall Party.

MK: Nude snorkeling would be a sport.
Nude snorkeling!! What's the downside to that! Oh wait, ohhhhh.

KW: If I were President, I'd make sure all the money spent onnnnnnnn, good things….like advanced lightweight helmet cams and better officials that can actually call an unbiased game.
Kyle went for easy points by quoting a song from one of my favorite albums of all time. Well played.

KS: College Football Playoff, no 5 game 1st round MLB playoff series (all 7 games), shorter NFL preseason, get rid of Paterno, Beano Cook, and most assuredly LOU MOTHERF'ING HOLTZ, Sunday Ticket for Free, Spread out NFL games more so you can watch up to like 8 or 9 live a week, THREE WORDS: EA FILLED KOLACHES.
Nearly. Brilliant.

CG: 2 feet in bounds in both college and the NFL. Oh, and getting the ball at the spot on a pass interference call in the NFL is the weakest shit I've seen. 15 yards, automatic 1st down. -Da Commish
Hate the first one. Love the second.

DW: Football: Level of hotness tests for sideline reporters; Baseball: All seats are General Admission…first come, first row; Basketball: Four point line where current 3 point line is, 3 point line like old college line. Would encourage shooting instead of inside play; Hockey: Shorter season, subsidized TV deal...once people see the sport, they will realize that second-for-second, it's actually the best sport of the Big 4
Ummm... OK. Ralph Nader... welcome to the league.

Week 11 Overall Standings - Kelli Kup

No prize here... only pride.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 11 NFL Standings

... much tighter than the NCAA contest.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 11 NCAA Standings

With about 3 1/2 weeks of games left, Chris is going into the stretch with a commanding lead.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Week 11 NFL Results

It was a tight one on top, and Kirby won by tiebreaker.

Nastypiece Theater - Week 11

I don't even feel right posting this clip, but after a few weeks of not-really-that-nasty videos for Nastypiece Theater, it's the real deal.

Do Not Watch right after lunch.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Week 11 NCAA Results

COMMENTARY: This comment probably won't be popular with most of the league, but... LSU is terrible not a championship team. That makes Alabama not that much better. 'Bama has no business holding the #1, but whatever. Roll Tide and best of luck.

And the sand aggies just wrecked the cowboys... both those teams should fear OU... I'm glad Texas isn't looking at them on the schedule this late in the season.

NOTE: I will announce the bonus question points early in the week.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Week 11 Card

Thursday night NFL games have begun... and the game is on the card. The early bird deadline will be Thursday night before kickoff. If you can't get the entire card to me on time, just email me your Thursday night pick.


ps- go Cowboys... i usually only say that once a year... unfortunately i have to say it twice this year.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Week 10 Overall Results - The Kelli Kup

No prize here... only pride.

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 10 NFL Standings

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Week 10 NFL Results

Vince is willing his team to win after win. Unbelievable.

... but it's the Bengals that took their foot off the pedal... (Week 10 NFL Bonus points updated 11/10/08. Sorry for the delay, but they will magically appear after the Week 11 final scorecard is posted).

Props to Kyle... the only playa that cracked double digits this week (no one hit doubles in NCAA).

Nastypiece Theater - Week 10

A leg breaking on a wagon!?! This happened early in the week, but it's a perfect candidate for the Week 10 Nastypiece Theater, as it is quite nasty.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Week 10 NCAA Standings

We have a new crew knocking on Chris' door now. Even after 2 pedestrian cards in a row, Chris is still picking 60% against the spread!

Movers and shakers view.

Sorted view.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Week 10 NCAA Results


(oh yeah... note Amy/Carrie has won their 3rd straight contest)