Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Week 11 NCAA Bonus - If I Were President...

If I ruled the world, was king on the throne
I'd make peace in every culture, build the homeless a home
I'm not runnin, for Congress or the President
I'm just here, to tell the world, how my story went
You see - first it was a dream, I was livin in Rome
And then I moved to London, bought a brand new home
And everywhere I went, I drew lots of attention
Like a stretch limousine, one of those new inventions
It took a few years 'fore the day had come
But I was ruler of the WORLD ranked number one
So I headed towards Washington to claim the crown
Let the whole world know that, the King was in town
As I, arrived, the crowd started to cheer
and then someone yelled out, "The King is here!"
So I headed toward stage, to make a speech
about the new style of living I was gonna teach, uh-huh

-Mr Blow
Lets all be honest... who really wants to rule the world... or the country... what a sht job. But sports... now that's a chair I'd like to sit in. I'm not sure if this bonus question is worth a vote, but below are the platforms submitted from the Pickem candidates for President of Sports.

(note: for those whose sarcasm detectors weren't working that well during my last open ended bonus question post, point values will not be assigned very objectively)

If you were elected as President of Sports, what change would you bring?

CJ: my underwear
(+1)
...hmmm, you would bring a change of underwear... very sensible... and practical too I guess.

CC: Teams that play in taxpayer-funded stadiums would have broadcasts available to the taxpayers and not squirreled away on some pay channel or blacked out. NCAA rules preventing college athletes from making any money would be abolished. Disc golf would get the exposure it deserves.
(+3)
Great platform, but your ideas will probably run sports into the ground. I mean, disc golf exposure?

A-C: I'd increase ticket prices for season ticket holders and give away free tickets to the poor.
(+1)
Communist!

RK: I would not choose games with greater than a 35 point spread in lieu of the battle for Jesus' love (BC vs. ND)
(-1000)
Ooooh... insulting the commissioner... that's a good way to get minimum points... I forgot, how did that game go? Go ahead and leave a comment on this post with that score... I'm a little busy to look it up ;) (ok. +1)

GN: If I Ruled The (Sports) World
Just some thoughts for the mind..
I take a glimpse into time..
Watch the blimp read "The World of Sports is Mine."
So that blimp thing and also I would shorten the baseball and basketball seasons because they encroach on football season. Word up.
(+3)
Holy crap I'm good at biting rhymes.

JC: Eight Team Playoff to Replace BCS, chosen by a selection committee. Create a challenge series whereby each college football team in a major conference has to play two teams from other major conferences as non-conference games. Shorten the NBA season to 64 games. Shorten the MLB regular season to 120 games and add another round to the playoffs.
(+3)
Just the kind of sensible changes that I would give *my* vote to.

KH: Jinx Cain
(+2)
Kirby runs a VERY negative campaign

AN: I would cut baseball and basketball out of the equation and make football go for a few more months!
(+2)
I lean toward the football party.

RH: Establish a playoff for FBS (formerly Division IA) football.
(+1)
Playoffs?! Don't talk about playoffs! Are you kidding me? Playoffs?! -JM


JH: Put an end to the BCS and implement a playoff.
(+1)
Clearly a member of the Hall Party.

MK: Nude snorkeling would be a sport.
(+1)
Nude snorkeling!! What's the downside to that! Oh wait, ohhhhh.


KW: If I were President, I'd make sure all the money spent onnnnnnnn, good things….like advanced lightweight helmet cams and better officials that can actually call an unbiased game.
(+4)
Kyle went for easy points by quoting a song from one of my favorite albums of all time. Well played.

KS: College Football Playoff, no 5 game 1st round MLB playoff series (all 7 games), shorter NFL preseason, get rid of Paterno, Beano Cook, and most assuredly LOU MOTHERF'ING HOLTZ, Sunday Ticket for Free, Spread out NFL games more so you can watch up to like 8 or 9 live a week, THREE WORDS: EA FILLED KOLACHES.
(+4)
Nearly. Brilliant.

CG: 2 feet in bounds in both college and the NFL. Oh, and getting the ball at the spot on a pass interference call in the NFL is the weakest shit I've seen. 15 yards, automatic 1st down. -Da Commish
(+2)
Hate the first one. Love the second.

DW: Football: Level of hotness tests for sideline reporters; Baseball: All seats are General Admission…first come, first row; Basketball: Four point line where current 3 point line is, 3 point line like old college line. Would encourage shooting instead of inside play; Hockey: Shorter season, subsidized TV deal...once people see the sport, they will realize that second-for-second, it's actually the best sport of the Big 4
(+3)
Ummm... OK. Ralph Nader... welcome to the league.

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