Wednesday, September 10, 2014

P-F14: Week 2 Results Blowout Post

Hey league. Shout out from Jury Room #2 and the Harris County court system. Shout out to civic duties. Shout out to all you potential jurors reading this over my shoulder. I know its tight here, but seriously -- this is awkward.

I’m in two photos already. Shout out to Facebook posts. People freaking post everything to Facebook these days. One of the pictures is a selfie. Tag me. I’m in the one in the photo with the “Seriously?” look on my face.


Week two of FBS games. Week one of NFL games. First blog post. Zero Ray Rices. Anyone ready to change their team name to “Beats by Ray”? That one is still available -- you insensitive bastards.

We do have a history here at Pickem-Football for that kind of stuff. Not domestic violence -- you accusatory bastards. I’m talking about insensitivity. Anyone remember when Turn Down for Whats (KW) made that sweet but country strong Sooner fan quit because of his insensitive remarks about sexual abuse? (She was also last in points and hadn't paid yet, so there was that too, but dude...) she was pissed at KW.

Speaking of KW, is anyone ready for some Manziel? This guy is also.
(NSFW-ish. The Browns and this guy's language.)

I think it is a good time for some instructions of how to Pickem-Football. Let me give you a tour through last week’s scores.


Score Tracking
Use http://bit.ly/pf14-wk02-ncaa-scores as reference.

Take note of a few things in the link above and you will be able to guess where to go for stuff without my emails or blog post. Bit.ly is the link shortener I use. This is mainly so I can give the sheets a consistent name, which I’ll break down below.
  • pf14: That is the league year. When calendar year flips to 2015, we will still be at pf14.
  • wkXX: Next week the links will be “03”.
  • ncaa: That is the contest. You’ll put “nfl” there for the other contest
  • scores: I use “card” for your weekly forms and “scores” for everything else. Google used to let me publish individual tabs in the Google Sheet as pdf or webpage, but that feature is gone. Now you can get everything here, which is mostly good, but I will sometimes be hiding elements in the spreadsheet that aren't ready for publishing. On the flip, you may see some crazy stuff if you happen to be browsing when I’m pulling levers behind the curtain.

How will you be able to track your Week 10 NFL scores? http://bit.ly/pf14-wk10-nfl-scores

OMG, I CAN’T FIND THE LINK TO THE WEEK 4 NCAA CARD?!! http://bit.ly/pf14-wk04-ncaa-card

Obviously, if the document doesn’t exist yet, then those links won’t work.



NCAA Week 2 Scores - How’d you do? http://bit.ly/pf14-wk02-ncaa-scores

If you hate donkeys, then you did really well. KS masterfully picked 11 of 15 against the spread for a win that was locked up before KW passed out in his overalls celebrating touchdowns against Lamar.

Swag b!tch.

But for many of us, Saturday was a much more disappointing day. Especially for Longhorn fans, who have now been banned from DRK for a month by Charlie Strong for not covering our mouths when we sneezed. 

Week 2 NCAA Bonus question: Who scores the least this week? FAU, Eastern Michigan, and Michigan (wtf!?) all put up goose eggs this week. No one picked Michigan, by the way. You can check out your answers at the NCAA Scores link shown above on the “Bonus” tab.

Some other quick score notes: 
  • The league average was 6.7 of 15. We need to stay away from Vegas. (But did anyone get up on UCLA -6 while that was still up? You can still get 7.5. Mortgage the house.)
  • No one ever gets a zero. You can’t score any lower than the lowest picker (lowest score of person that submitted all their picks).
  • Paging Steve Sullivan. Next week SS is deleted.
Tabs on the Week 2 NCAA Scores link:
  • Scorecard: This is the, uh, scorecard. I fill the scores in manually, but I do my best to keep it live-ish. You’ll always be able to check your picks and your year-to-date totals here. You can also see your bonus scores below as they get entered. And speaking of...
  • Bonus: You’ll see this one pop up sometimes if I can fit your answers into a neat table. Your answers and bonus scores are here. Remember that the bonus does not contribute to your pick’em score. This page does not show your miscellaneous bonus points that you can collect each week. I’ll explain that breakdown later.
  • Leaderboard: This is kind of a reformatting of what you already saw on the Scoreboard. However, many of us like to quickly see how close we are to the top. Dean’s Mediocre Picks (DDa)
  • Team Name Key: Just in case you forget your team name, the initials I use for you on the scorecard, or your own name. If you know just one of those three pieces of information, you can find out everything else that you need to know for the other tabs.



NFL Week 2 Scores - How’d you do picking straight up? http://bit.ly/pf14-wk02-nfl-scores

We had a little easier time picking the pay for play guys. It could have been that there were a lot of lopsided matchups… like that Miami/New England game. Like the fella once said. "Ain't that a kick in the head?" [sets softball up on tee, swings for fences] Oh yeah, and speaking of getting kicked in the head.


Anyone see the "Dallas" game? It’s just not in my DNA not to mention it.

Jerry-world is bleeding


Make sure to check out the bonus tab for the “The best part about 2 MNF games is…” answers. You guys were just good enough to entertain me, and let’s be real, that’s what most of this is about anyway. If you have feelings too, there are places you can record those. I record mine in the form of arbitrary bonus points.


Bonus Points
Here is a list of some common recurring points:

  • Have you paid? If you have, you get 1 point per week. This year I’m giving 5 points to everyone who pays before Week 4 starts.
  • Get the last game on every card right, get 3 points. This is sometimes the game of the week, and sometimes it’s just the last game. For the NFL, it’s always the MNF game.
  • Score 10 in the NCAA or 12 in the NFL contest, get 3 points
  • Pick the highest number of correct games for the week, get 5 points.

Finally, "sometimes you have fast players and you end up next to me."


Ouch.

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