Sunday, December 11, 2011

P-F11: From the Bonus Point Basement - Week 4 - Landscaping College Football

h/t to Mr. Smokeypants for reminding me of this bonus question. I can't believe I let this one slip. This may be some of the best collective open-ended-bonus-question-answers evah.

(From Week 4) OK. I'm ready. Give it to me. What do you want to happen to the landscape of college football?

Viva la Revolution! - GN
Northmen (ANo): I like the super conference situation. I think that would be fun. Play-offs!!
Blow it up! +4

The Yeasty Beasties (KW): F*&^ the BCS, let's see a friggin' playoff system already. Break up all the Division I schools into.....divisions......and compete within your division but also have two traditional 'rivalry' games (such as Texas vs. A&M and Texas vs. OU). These 'rivalry' games will kind of be like inter-league games. But shake up the divisions every five years or so, similar to the NCAA basketball tournament bracket system. When the 'rivals' are in the same division then that just opens up the two extra games to some other great game (ie. If Texas/A&M/Blow-U were all in the same division, Texas could play Alabama and Oregon State for their two 'rivalry' games). This system would be complicated, but screw it, the BCS rating system is complicated too, but the BCS sucks and my idea is totally rad.
What do the Aggies care about traditional rivalries? +5

Bevo XIV (DW): SWC reformed but add UTEP, Raycom game of the week, low def games. Or Longhorn network shows all games not picked up by 1st tier (i.e., it becomes 2nd tier). Although watching A&M go to the SEC and be perma-2and6 is going to be fun.
Low def. Heh. +5


Mr. Smokeypants (KH): Human Centipede of Garrett Gilbert-Chris Simms-Greg Davis
Haha! I'm assuming Gilbert is the head and Davis is the tail? +4

Mad Bomber (KZ): Well, I would have liked it to stay the way it was. but if things have to change I would rather see some power houses like ut and ou come to the sec. if everyone wants a super conference send the best teams to the best conference.
Like Vanderbilt? *smirk* +4

Chicainery (CCa): Players should not be so restricted by the NCAA in their ability to make money while they are still in college. The biggest schools rake in the cash while taking advantage of these kids. The hypocrisy is ridiculous. And no, a scholarship is not full compensation - it doesn't cover living expenses.
Assuming paying them is not a viable answer for 85% of Div 1 schools, maybe if there were no age restrictions in the pros, then maybe the players could choose between being an amateur and being pro... You know what, let's table this and figure this out tomorrow. +4

Large Donkey IPA (KSc): Erin Andrews uncensored Large Donkey IPA commercials and as if that isn't enough we should just have an SEC tournament at the end of the year to crown the national champion, no one else wins anyway. Maybe the cowboys and jaguars could join the SEC.
Like. +5

Kentucky Wildmen (GF): What I want to happen. I don't have to do sh!t. UT is doing well enough alone. All I have to do is set back with my SEC buds and smile. Sweet!!!! S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C S-E-C
Why is it so great when your conference mates win? I'll never understand this. +4

Bob and Gary Destroyers (JH): The Big 12 stays intact with UT giving up a portion of its earnings from the LHN to keep OU and A&M happy. We stay a 10 team conference.
Trrble idea - Charles Barkley +4

Beelzebubbles (CCo): As we have reached days of 100+ temps here in Houston, I am certain that the landscapers at each of the schools has made a priority of watering the fields that require it. I would like to see the landscaping go back to a simple green with white lines. While Boise State blue is quite lovely its too distracting to me. So yes, back to the simplicity ...and by all means I am not making a drug reference .
Ahhh. I get it. +4

WhooDat4Life (Lo): Paid players so the SEC cant dominate recruiting anymore
But are we *sure* that SEC teams cheat? Jury is still out, I think. +4

Topo Chicas (A-C): Shut up and play!
Most of the complainers are people not playing. +4

Devil Dawgs (DD): What I want, like EVERYONE else who's watched even one post-season NCAA football game, is a gawd damn play-off system. Instead what I've got is a room full of coaches, writers, and programmers imitating a monkey screwing a football.

The university presidents are such colossal pussies that they won't even consider a play-off system, but they'll let one little ol' TV network implode every conference at once and that's somehow less risk to your pot of gold than a tournament.

BIG 12 - So the Ags, Huskers and Buffalo got scared cause they thought they were gonna get left out in the cold. So now they'll get slapped around by some OTHER conference's top and middle tier teams. Except Colorado, they go down for everyone. Turn the damn page, get some fresh blood and get back to talking about football.

PAC 12 - You're stupid. You could have had Texas and Oklahoma, but you opted out because you couldn't operate a calculator and make a deal.

Big East - You suck. Add some teams. Lose some teams. It doesn't matter. You'll still suck.

ACC - You cheat and you suck. Just let UConn in already. At least then you'll be smarter so you can probably cheat better even if you'll still suck.

SEC - You just cheat. But have fun kicking Mizzou and the Ags. We did.

I said the max points were 5, but this is getting a 7.

13 National Championships (CG): Start paying these fuckers. Get a playoff system in place and quit acting like these are kids playing the game anymore. The Junior NFL.
Is there anything more disingenuous than the NCAA and school presidents pretending that they are looking out for the kids welfare. +4

Pimp Posse (JB): Playoffs.
Playoffs? +4


Booyah! (MN): Who cares. Just play football.
I care about football. +4


Naked Bootleggers (JN): I would like to see conferences stay regional to help preserve some of the traditional rivalries and pageantry that has made college football the greatest sporting experience there is.

But if some of the pansies, TAMU, need to run to another garden, I mean conference, aspiring to become a better smelling flower then so be it. The SEC is full of weeds and rocks just waiting to choke out pansies.

I see what you did there. +5

SEC Rejects (ANe): Have the government takeover the NCAA football programs, turn all coaches into federal employees to level their pay, and take the billions of dollars left over to apply to the federal budget. Then dissolve all conferences and devise a 128 team, season long, triple elimination tournament!
This is only a short term solution as the budget surplus would quickly be noticed and then spent on a race to get America to be the first country to play a college football game in space - which would be pitched and sold to the American public as a method of jump-starting the economy. The game, obviously, would be shown on the ESPN ran Longhorn Network.
Another +7 answer.

1 Man Wolfpack (MF): I would really like to see the conferences stick around they way they are set up now, rivalries need to stay in place, geography should still be a factor, but they definitely need to develop a better postseason, some sort of tourney set up. Also, lets be real, college football is big business and as a former player myself, i know these guys don't have shit for money unless they're scamming some sort of pale grant or have rich parents, they're fucked for money. They need to start giving more back to the players. Could you imagine the social scene on campus? They deserve it. Anyway, that last part will never happen but we definitely need a playoff.
Agreed. +5

Team Awesome (SE): I want there to be a playoff system no bcs anymore
I thought you said bs for a second there. +4

Rose Ate It (SS): Short grass, good chalk lines.
Tight. +4

Roughnecks (CW): 3 things to talk about here: 1. The BCS, 2. Playoffs, 3. Crap bowl games.

There needs to be a 16 seed playoff system put into place How are the seeded you ask? Simple - the top 16 teams according to the BCS polls.

Where are the early rounds played? Simple - The non BCS bowl games will host playoff games. No longer will bowl games have any conference affiliation. Whoever is seeded for that game plays at that site. They can be anywhere from the Cotton Bowl, to the Gator Bowl, Holiday Bowl, Liberty, etc. the Semifinal Games and the final game will be held in the BCS bowls.

What about the remaining bowl games. Simple - Ditch 'Em. Who cares about the Humanitarian Bowl, or the Bowl game?

All this can take place right after the regular season and prevent any lapse in time between the end of the regular season and bowl season.

Sounds simple to me. +5

Hellfish (KSh): I want there to be one supreme conference, with one leader...and that man is SirRon...aka The Commish....aka Beer Whore. Out.
I like this answer. Just sayin'. +5

Throwin' Darts (MM)
: It looks like the only landscape that is changing right now is the Big XII. At least as far as the major conferences and who cares about the rest anyway? Are you really laying awake at night trying to figure out where Louisville might end up? I called my buddy Gilligan to ask him what he thought. He sent me this text back

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of bumbling fools
That started in the Midwest
With 9 presidents and 1 tool.

Now Deloss was a very important man,
Just ask him, he’ll agree
Gonna start his own damn network
‘LHN is my legacy’

The conference started getting pissed,
The Aggies had been crossed,
If anybody wanted the Sooners
The conference would be lost, the conference would be lost.

The Big XII set ground on the shore of this uncharted heaping pile
With Texas
The Sooners too,
The Raiders and the Bears,
The Mizzou Tigers
And the rest,
Here on Deloss’s Pile.

Such is life in the Bovine 9 Conference!
 

Gilligan has a cell phone. +7

Dirt Burglers (D2)

1. aTm goes off to the SEC and after ten years of being the SEC's bitch, they come back to texas asking to join whatever conference they belong to.

2. The Mountain West and WAC are like the couple that never really stay broken up. They get together, they break up, they get horny and decide to give it another try.

3. The Big East is like the easy, drunk girl at the bar. The conferences sweep in at closing time, have their way, take what they want, then kick her out while making her pay for her own cab ride home.

4. The ACC is that asshole that comes in at closing time, gets the good teams that he wants, then kicks her to the curb making her buy cab back home.

5. The big ten will always be the same. They keep on asking the prom queen out, but she always says no.

6. The big 12: The schools are learning to sleep with one eye open because they don't know who will stab them in the back next. After the big 12 realizes that not even the big east teams want to join the conference they send out invites to Allen, Trinity, DeSoto and Union high schools.

7. The PAC 12 are the girls from Mean Girls. The girls that are too good for everyone else. For their shits and grins, they lead a couple of girls along, thinking that they're going to join the "COOL" girls at lunch. They then haze the girls and tell them that they were joking while they get bitch slapped all the way back to OK.

8. Texas: What can I say about texas other than EVERYONE HATES TEXAS!

9. The SEC cause the entire system to come crashing down. Everyone is so good that a 3-loss team ends up winning the national championship, which is a rematch of the SEC championship. The undefeated boise st. gets pissed off because they are the bridesmaid, again. They and a couple of other schools that never even have a chance in hell to go the BCS get congress enact anti-trust measures against the NCAA. The system falls apart since its now illegal to have a national championship. On the bright side, everyone now gets the same participation trophies!

Okies love Texas. +7

Above Average Joe (JG): Replace all the AstroTurf in the stadiums with real grass. After that landscaping project, I would like the NCAA to let teams have ONE year to get their conferences together, then lock them for 10 years.
I wish Mizzou had done that last year. Not the conference part... no one really cares what conference Mizzou is in. +5

Gig'em Baby (AP): A&M leaves the Big 12 with the National Championship trophy. OU and OSU head to the Pac 12. TU is independent with their Longhorn Network that only a few people can tune into.
haaaaaaaaahahahahahahhaahaha. Haaaaaaaahahahahahaaha. +5

Chumlee's Banditos (KP): Pay the players something so they don't feel used. Improve the quality of football at other conferences so they are at least some what comparable in quality to the SEC.
Maybe other conferences should be mandated to chant their conference name wins. +4


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