It is Halloween and you are on the doorstep of the football offices of the NCAA. Choose any trick or treat that you would like for the league or any of its member institutions.
Game Initials, Team Name - Trick or Treat
Bonus Points (0-5 points available)
JHa, I Will Beat Bob and Gary - Depending on your perspective, it could be considered a trick or a treat, but I would drop Greg Davis off at the door step...head first.
I would consider that a treat.
KW, Dallas D-Bags - Do the ol' flaming bag trick but instead put smores ingredients in the bag. After they step on the bag and discover the contents I bring out a small crying child and explain to the step-or that my nephew was trying to do something nice for the NCAA, and the only way to make it better is to go to a playoff system.
KS, DonkeyStyle - Donkeys, all donkeys to everyone, all the time...
At least you pick and theme and stick with it.
JN, Naked Bootleggers - Reinstate Dez Bryant and punish USC for it's illegal shenanigans.
There is no trick to knowing the rules and not lying, but it would be a treat if the NCAA ever dropped the hammer on USC.
JHo, Demons - Candy bars.
Traditional... I can get with that.
CJ, Beelzebubbles - AS a treat I would like them to put a BEEP in my BEEP, so that the BEEP can really really enjoy a little BEEP. Don't get me wrong, I like a little BEEP in my BEEP but the BEEP doesn't really BEEP it that BEEP.
If you want a little ting in your tang tang, then try Big or Rich's door.
CC, Novacain - Here's a neat trick that would be a treat for all fans of college football: there should be one weekend a year set aside for the Conference Challenge (note: flashier name needed). SEC teams would be matched up against say Big 12 or Big 10 teams by order of finish the previous year. This would create some compelling early season games and reduce the number of creampuffs that a team can schedule. It would also give us a better read on relative conference strengths for the pollsters.
I'd like to see what the SEC commissioner and member schools would think of that plan.
DW, Bevo XIV - Trick for teams on Texas remaining schedule: we've been running the opposite offense of what we know will work, we've just decided that we'd rather be boring and predictable than call plays that will actually exploit your weaknesses. When you face us now, you will feel the Greg Davis wrath!
Nebraska felt it... now watch out 'Bama!!
JC, Justin's Team - For Matt Barkley, a package of Goobers
*pew pew pew* [holster]
A-C, Amy/Carrie's Team - I'd like for the league and its member institutions to treat me to a ride home. How'd I end up on their doorstep?
RK, BlitzKrieg - I would tell John Swofford and Jim Isch that their fat little girlfriends are going to be seriously inconvenienced when the only undefeated teams going into the bowl season will be Texas and a couple of non-BCS schools. As non-BCS teams, I suppose they need to make their points more compelling than their fat little girlfriends.
In October/November, this was pretty damned funny.
GN, Ferments-A-Lot - I want to treat the NCAA with the ability open their eyes and the strength to drop the hammer hard on schools that foster cheating.
Not as funny as Rich's, damnit.
KH, Mr. Smokey Pants - I would go dressed as Jim Mora with a bullhorn.
You know why KW's answer beat yours? Because his scored more points.