Thursday, September 5, 2013

P-F13: The Rules Are Stupid (NCAA Week 1 Bonus)

Or maybe just some rules are stupid. But I think we can all agree that there are a couple decent rules. Killing someone is pretty universally terrible. Unless of course he is your enemy. Or if he is on your property and has “that look.”

Am I right?


Troublemaker - Weezer

The Golden Rule is pretty righteous. Treat others like they treat you.

Nailed that.


Competition, or sport, is fundamentally defined by rules. Some rules are certainly better than others. Limiting the number of time outs is great. Not allowing much more than a clap after a score seems a little excessive. However the collection of rules outlines the game for the competitors and provides a path for a fair win, loss, or (in some unfortunate situations) draw.

Inside the competition, the game may have unwritten rules or gentlemen’s agreements in addition to the written rulebook. Outside the competition, the coaching staff may have rules for the team. The staff may have rules from management. Management may have rules from ownership. Ownership may have rules from the league.

But seriously, why follow any of them?



Fight the Power - Public Enemy

Most of us are rule breakers in our lives. According to our league poll, most of you P-F’ers thought it was fine to break rules (+1: ANo, A-C, CS, DR, MN, JB, KZ, RK, CCo). Especially rules like “no flasks in the stadium” (DW, +2) and “90 MPH is too fast for the freeway” (JN, +2). OJ (allegedly) didn’t follow the rules. George Zimmerman did(?n’t?) follow the rules (JC, +2). Maybe we have a moral obligation to break unjust rules (CCa, +2). Rosa Parks would agree with that. The government doesn’t always follow the rules (+2: CG, JH). ARE THEY FREAKING ABOVE THE LAW?! Right.

A response from Gary (GF, 93Bronco, +3) usually provides a tangent and often demands its own paragraph. Apparently there is something called Peter’s Law that states “if you can't change the rule (sic), ignore them.” When I looked it up, that rule followed one that said, “If you can’t win change the rules.” I also couldn’t find a lot of search results on Google for this Peter’s Law. The Peter Principle may apply though: “Employees tend to rise to their level of incompetence.”

The SEC apparently has rules. I could look them up, but instead I’ll just copy paste what someone told me (DT, +3). “With the lowest academic entrance standards in the major conferences, the SEC tends to recruit juvenile facilities and prisons. If the SEC players can't even stay out of jail, why would they follow the rules of an institution that can't police or investigate its members? It’s just common sense.” He’s a sooner.

Key to knowingly breaking a rule is the risk/reward assessment (+3: GN, KH, KP). In my opinion, punishment must be something that the rule breaker would never accept. “Sir, there will be a thirty minute suspension for getting some cash to put rims on your Benz.” “WHERE DO I SIGN?!!”


Tattoos, bar fights, fake IDs, and weed (KS, +2) describe college things, but these are all things that would get Liberal Arts majors tossed out of school. It’s good to be a valuable piece of athlete meat. To help you pull off all your shenanigans, it’s nice to have an Uncle Nate too (MF, +2).


Said a particularly well groomed Aggie, “As an Aggie, I'm glad he only got a half game suspension. But as a football fan, I think this only teaches him that he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. I hope he grows up soon, but what happens here won't help him” (AP, +2).


C.R.E.A.M.T.R.A. - Wu-Tang Clan (Safety Words, Contra Remix)

Maybe the autograph rule was meant to be broken. Maybe it’s not even a big deal. In fact, let’s let players at least make money off their name. That makes sense, right?

When Joe Booster drops $10K off at 5 star commit Ji'mbo Bama’s Grandma’s house in exchange for his signature next year, then we should talk again about how it’s perfectly fine to let them accept money.

Perhaps we just go back to how it’s been. Some rules are just stupid and it’s worth ignoring the suggestion of compliance. I received a list of five NOT rules to follow (DD, +4):
5) Anything involving car dealerships and fake jobs in Oklahoma
4) Anything involving Kelvin Sampson and a cell phone
3) Anything involving coaches riding motorcycles with 20 year old female employees in Arkansas
2) Anything in the state of Florida requiring student athletes to take their own college examinations.
1) And anything, and I do mean anything, involving 20 year old quarterbacks from Texas A&M before they play Alabama.
Even Pickem-Football has vigorously enforced rules, and I’m glad you all are totally on board.
All rules that have been established in this most glorious of pick’em leagues are quite the antithesis of stupid. But other rules/laws that don't allow you to do awesome things like "accidental" public urination, capitol degradation and naked bobbing are totally stupid and seriously need to be reconsidered during our next legislative session. Surely there's a lawyer in this group that could help us create some sort of lobbying efforts or PAC. (KW, +5)
I most certainly cannot speak to any of those awesome things list above -- that is for sure.

Maybe we can just outlaw the stupid rules and call it a day.

“Creating a rule to ignore rules you think are stupid is still a rule” (ANe, +3). Yeah but the new rule won’t be a stupid rule. Burn!

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