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Critique of Some Brilliancy

The Yeasty Beasty's (KW) bonus question answer was pretty, pretty good. I'm not saying that it was better than yours, but it is getting its own post.

So gather 'round, Kyle's the new fool in town, and his sound will be laid down when you hit play and sh!t.

Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance

So just let me introduce myself, My name is Ag-gie, pronounced with a Ag-gie. Yo 'Horns, oh how I like to Gig thee. And all the haters in the Big XII--please allow me to flip thee. I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Miami, you're gonna fall when the Announcers pump me. I like to Whoop, I like my beats military, I'm rowdy. I like my ladies sayin' Howdy. I'm sick wit dis, screw Coachy Mack, but sometimes I get to yell, I Pass It Back and we get to BEAT THE HELL! Hey yo fat girl, c'mere--why ya wearing purple? Yeah, I called ya fat. Look at me, our time's due, It never stopped me from yellin' Hullabaloo. I'm a Dead Zip. I like the girls in maroon, I once got busy in a Dudley's Draw bathroom. I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee. They say I'm a traitor but it just don't faze me. I'm still gettin' in the SEC and I don’t even need my own station on the TV.

The Big XII or the X or the IX [It’ll fail baby] Super Conference Time, it’s Super Conference Time.

Plus Five. Just saying.

Now a rhyme is a pretty shameless way to max out your bonus points, and since I'm doing a little soundtracking of P-F11 this year, KW post inspired me to scratch out a little Digital Underground parody of my own.

A-doooo-reeer-dooooo-reeer. Samoans, let's get stooopid!

Digital Underground - Freaks of the Industry

[...Shock G's verse... that's the 2nd one popster... do it!]

Say you’re fillin’ [Fillin’?].You’re ready for some swillin’, and the card of the week is right in front of you. The mthrfking bonus question is open ended [C’mon now!]. You want to skip it [Yeeaah] but that’s not recommended [Uh-uh]. No, not with bonus question points on the line. Is it worth the time? Just listen to this rhyme. [Mm-hmm]

A’ght , here’s the scene: You’re sitting on your ass, cursor going blink-blink on the screen. You just picked fifteen of fifteen. Should you: A.) Open up a tab and surf YouTube, B.) Use this space to maybe talk about boobs, C.) Put sumpin’ that you’ll be proud of… Well the answer is D [Dee!], all of the above. So you’re flowing [Flowin’.]. The keys are just glowing [Glowin’.] You’re just zonin’, cranking out your masterpiece. Word to word, and verb to noun, you’re phrasing it in ways that it has never been down, ‘til your lover starts makin’ those nagging sounds, which is fine, but your answer is only part through. The bitchin’s getting louder, you can’t close down your browser. In this situation, what do you do? [What?]: A.) You, sweetly yell out “yo, I’mm bussyyy!” B.) A compliment, “you look prettyyy!” C.) You stand and raise up your pimp hand high. Well D is what I do, lemme tell you why. I get up and quickly score.  Next I step out and close the door. Now my love won’t bug me anymore. Back to the card, that ain’t hard, now I can focus. Let’s see how I can pull max points up on this bonus [oh bone-us]. Getting’ back to my mission, double entendres and old memories, and tell them all to suck my diction:  ou sucks worse than aggies suck in this bcs that sucks. Don’t be like, “Hey commish, this is dumb and you’re a Grade A shmuck.” You can rhyme it, big time it, lemon lime it, 'n yeah I’m it. And once it’s sent, get up, you're one hundred percent. So ya might be a liiiittle tiny bit of a freak, but I say “Yo, this is brilliant, no need to critique!”

[Now if there's a cure for this, I don't want it, I'll run from it. And if there's a remedy, I don't need it, I just eat it.]


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