Pickem Dash Football

In no other game in history have there been so many choices. More choices mean more opportunities; more opportunities mean more potential to win and (possibly) defeat your enemies. Picking is easy, but picking football games successfully is only slightly more difficult than flipping a coin. Gang, whether you are a seasoned veteran or new to this game, you made a great choice today: reading this text. Your choices are truly what define you, and I know that you are perfect, maybe even born specifically, for the 2014 iteration of pickem-football. I got an email years ago: “Just what is pickem-football?” Friends, it is possibly one of the greatest tools to both casually follow along during the football season while also practicing your picking proficiency in life. “Sounds great, but how exactly to you plan on improving my life?”  The method is simple and effective. By presenting an abundance of choice. An elaborate buffet of choices. Quick, simple, choices. When you find your...

(hit play for the full effect) 80s. 90s. Same difference. He promised LSU would win the BCS National Championship. (Last year too.) I almost positive that he used some version of "fuck" in every single open ended bonus question last year. (This year, not fucking once.) He is the only person I've ever recruited off of someone else's Facebook page. (Seriously.) He's confident. He's honest. He brings these assets to his picks every single week. And to his Facebook comments too. It is high time to bring these principles to the masses. He plays for fun. He plays till he bleeds. He can bring you to your na-na na-na na-na knees. He's The Velvet Neutral Ground (JC), and welcome to our jungle. Click to enlarge. Last updated 1/19/14 9:03 PM 

(hit play for the full effect) (The commissioner walks out with a slow, short cycled head bob. Finger point. Finger point. He makes his way to the podium in the middle of the stage. White-guy pistol shot to stage left.) When I made myself Commissioner a little over a decade ago, I didn't know the magnitude of the challenge before me. I was merely copying a online game by a local Austin news station. Now I'm entrusted with promoting and protecting picks from all over the globe. Each pick representing the gamble of someone's hard earned penny. But I also have another important role: Science .... Innovation .... Ensuring .... Challenges .... Ideas .... Translation .... Product .... Opportunity. Stuff. Today is a critical day for Bowl Picks. Despite some of us struggling in this Pick'em economy, there are signs that several of you could still win this thing. Today's games could make or break some of you, but no matter what happens, remember that you'll alwa...

Time to get stupid scared. (hit play for the full effect) [Picture The Paperboys (KW) walking in slow with a bit of a strut. Maybe like a bit of a pimp walk. Picture his parents horrified as they realize the lyrics are foul, shocking, and straight up scary as sh!t. Picture KW eating a cockroach and not throwing it up] He's a Texan fan. Just kidding. He's a Texas fan. Just kidding. He's from Texas and a cowboy. Just kidding. A farmer. He's got mad flow. Just kidding. His gas is sweet. He rides the train to save energy. Just kidding he's the engineer. Just kidding. He is an Engineer. And he makes beer . And drinks a lot too, but that's because he makes so much. It's scary. But seriously. Yonkers is a scary song. It's so scary that the music alone can make other songs scary too. Are your picks are scary good or scary bad? (the most recent scores are now being tracked in a newer post)

(Hit play for the full effect of the introduction) You may know him as AccidentChild (MN), but he didn't even leave a team name in his registration this year. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He likes The Real Housewives, but obvs only ironically. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He spent a good portion of his life looking almost exactly like what many people think Jesus looked like. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He's like family to me, because he's actually -- like -- family. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. Great picks are something all of us need. Great picks are something that money can’t buy, and something you can't fully enjoy football season without But most of us learn to cope. Great picks are the stuff that dreams are made of. It’s that quality of the picks that makes the future look brighter and football worth watch...

NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 18 Form NFL - Week 18 Printable Card

Ladies and gentlemen!! We'll cover two games on this post. But first, I’d like to kick off our Pick’em Dash Football player spotlight. (Hit play on the jam below for the full effect.) Our first spotlight He won’t hold back his passion for the Cowboys and Longhorns. You may remember Lost Cause (JH) as the guy who recently blew the 2013 NCAA Pick’em contest. At press time, the Bowl Challenge lead is his to lose. He is quite literally a Lost Cause. Don’t. Make. Him. Cloooose!!! One more door. Lost Cause (JH) is picking perfect right now. Our first game today is the Beeeeeeeeef Oooooo’ Brady’s Bowl. Has anyone been to this place? It may just be like a Chilis, but I have to give them props for having Beef in their name. That does something inside for me. This year’s edition has the C-USA champion. What’s that? Oh, OK. Today is C-USA RUNNER UP – huh? Today we have C-USA EAST runner-up, hailing from the state of East Carolina vs a team from the state Ohio, although I...