P-F25 Week 14 NFL Bonus - Turkey Leg Trophy Edition

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“Give a Turkey Leg Trophy to someone/something/some concept.”

[PA Chime]

This is your captain speaking. In the spirit of John Madden’s legendary turducken tradition, we asked the cabin to hand out a Turkey Leg Trophy to anyone -- real, fictional, conceptual -- who truly deserved a celebratory drumstick.

The results were… well, exactly what you’d expect from a plane full of football fanatics, street philosophers, and one person who fears Vanderbilt Admissions more than any SEC defense.

Let’s carve this bird.

A Northmen (AN)

Turkey Leg → Paul Tagliabue +4
A ceremonial nod to the most overlooked commissioner in NFL history. Somewhere, Tagliabue is hoping you just stop for a picture and not a hug.

TEAMNAME (BR)

Turkey Leg → “Joe blows” +5
I assume Joe doesn't blow, so this likely goes to all the Joe Blow's out there. [Biggie voice] Yeah… this bonus right here... this bonus is dedicated to all the Joe Blows out there... all the folks who doubted, all the people in the cheap seats who still got opinions... to everybody who’s ever been counted out, sittin’ at the bottom of the standings, pickin’ long shots and coin flips just to stay alive; It’s all good. Baby, baby! Big BR on the mic, shout out all the Joe Blows, Nine-to-five grind, still reppin’ in they work clothes... I've spent way too much time on this. You guys get it.

Queenbspice (CC)

Turkey Leg → George Pickens +3
My bad. Had to look him up. 'Boys won tho.

18 National Championships (CG)

Turkey Leg → Jameis Winston +4
“There will never be another like him.” 
No lies detected.

Pure Random Cubed (CN)

Turkey Leg → Vanderbilt Admissions Office +5
The coin clearly has beef with bureaucracy, and that’s the kind of energy this league runs on.

Cuernos Largos (CT)

Turkey Leg → The Football Gods +4
Five straight days of games. Imagine explaining that to a Puritan.

Swamp Dogs (DR)

Turkey Leg → Lane Kiffin (Oxford Edition) +4
“Since I live in Oxford, I'll say I'm thankful that Lane Kiffin is..."
...moving on. Maybe he didn't want to have to face the aggies in the playoffs!

Bevo XV (DW)

Turkey Leg → The Ghost of John Madden +4
This gets the official flight-crew nod. If anyone deserves an eternal turkey leg, it’s the man who invented the six-wing bird.

Far Left Handed (GN)

Turkey Leg → Y’all +3
Specifically, to everyone who sits down every week and tries to decode the bonus question.

Wookie Cookies (KH)

Turkey Leg → Lane Kiffin (again) +3
Apparently, the turkey is following him around the cabin.

Aint Nothin but an Aint (KS)

Turkey Leg → Jameis Winston (…but make it a crab leg) +5
"…for making football fun again…always saying something insightful and heismaning CBs all day long. A true national treasure…I would gladly trade Rattler and Shough for Jameis."
*Chef's kiss*

Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW)

Turkey Leg → The Inventor of the Giant Taco Salad +4
I bet no one saw that coming, yet it is spot on. Someone has experience in an "anything draft."

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK)

Turkey Leg → Kevin James +3
Is this ironic? Sincere? Who cares. Turkey leg.

Accidentchild (MN)

Turkey Leg → America +4
"We could use a turkey leg about now."
Cause we are killin' it!!

Eleven Verticals (ON)

Turkey Leg → UT Barstool Twitter Account +4
“UT Barstool Twitter Account. That damn twitter account only says the dumbest takes and is by far the loudest, swear it must be run by aggies with the lack of intelligence on display. I should NOT be getting this mad about it, but i care!”
ON with an emotional support turkey leg.

Shot Callers (RD)

Turkey Leg → Dan Campbell +3
"For making the Lions fun on Thanksgiving again."
He goes for it.

Mediocrity (RH)

Turkey Leg → Brian Kelly +3
“Carpetbagger got $40MM for drinking wine and playing golf. Then another $54MM for incompetence.”
I'd do wine, golf, and turkey leg for free.

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK)

Turkey Leg → Frank Ragnow +3
"...to Frank Ragnow for the pain tolerance to nonchalantly live his life with a complete tear of his hamstring and not seek medical help."
Turkey leg brace!

[Seatbelt Ding]

And with that, the turkey is carved, and the gratitude is exactly as chaotic as John Madden intended. Who brought the side dishes?

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