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P-F16: Hey Wizards. What Is Your Patronus?

First of all, what the heck is a patronus? My wife and/or kids have dragged me to each of the Harry Potter movies, as well as the recent Fantastic Beasts movie. The Potter movies weren't my jam, but the Beasts movie seems to have read from the Marvel Hit Movie Cookbook, and it followed the recipe well.

Don't ask me what Potter book a Patronus was mentioned (or if it is in all of them). I googled patronus and (of course) the Harry Potter wiki page was the first link. Here is what I found.
"This ancient and mysterious charm conjures a magical guardian, a projection of all your most positive feelings. The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus, a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal with whom they share the deepest affinity. You may suspect, but you will never truly know what form your Patronus will take until you succeed in conjuring it."
In normal people words, I assume this is pretty close to a spirit animal. What is your spirit animal?

Left Hand Scissors (GN): Smoking meat (+4)

Phlying Hellfish (AD): One of my favorite brands of tequila? (+4, I see what you did there)

Siemian's Stallions (MM): Not exactly sure what a patronus is, but I got an old ithica 12-guage pump action that I have a fancy for. If not that whiskey definitely whiskey. (+4, ha)

Butt Pickers (ANe): Jabba the Hut (+4)

Alexandria Cyclones (SS): What's a patronus?  Is this a Harry Potter thing? (+3, partial credit)

Bevo XV (DW): Patron vodka (+4, I didn't know Patron made vodka)

Accidentchild (MN): Cowboy (+4, giddyup)

I Look Good On Top (BF): Snake (+4, I'm terrified of you now)

One Little, Two Little, Three Little Donkeys (KS): A donkey, duh (+4, it could have been Erin Andrews though)

Pimp Possee (JB): No clue (+3)

Creekside Body Count: Superspike VBall (+4, like)

InnocentBystander (BJ): Tom Savage?  TBH, I had to look up what a patronus is...haha. (+4)

Tannesaurus Rex (CT): Leviosa corona (+4, clever)

Beelzebubbles (CCo): A dead cat (+4, I'm not sure if there is a backstory here, and I'm also not sure I want to know)

Dirt Burglars (DT): Always losing at pickem (+4, funny)

A Northmen (AN): Pottermore says it's a calico cat, I used to say it was a sloth, but now it's more like niffler #ravenclawesome  (+4, nerd)

BlitzKrieg knocked it out the park again, so I'm copying his response below unedited.

BlitzKrieg (RK): I had to ask my 9 year old daughter (she has read all of the Harry Potter books, twice) what it meant. She got so excited and started telling me all about the Patronus Charm and then she started asking questions about the pickem-league and whether it has anything to do with Harry Potter and whether she could join if there were questions like this.

As a result, I neglected to fill it in immediately, thinking that something clever would come to mind. But it hasn't. I'll go with this fearsome, intimidating Patronus:

Inline image 1

We'll see what the Bears and Packers will do when Roary starts prowling their sidelines in the upcoming weeks. The Giants and Cowboys are fortunate that they will not have to deal with my Patronus this year.
(+5!)

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