Tuesday, January 1, 2013

P-F12: Crawford’s Bowl Pick’em Challenge Post, Part One

95% of the time, I am right. In this by-degree world, you may be right most of the time too. I can only speak for myself. 

I point this out not to be smug, but as an introduction to my coverage of the Pickem-Football 2012 College Bowl Challenge. Kids, my name is Crawford and I'll be taking you to the National Championship games and announcing which one of you confidently picked your way into $112.50, a total that sounds low – just saying.

You may know my work as a beer blogger. I am not your typical self-loathing blogger. I like to tell it like it is, share my life experiences, and hopefully help you put better stuff in your mouth. Speaking of what to put in your mouth today is New Year's Eve, which also reminds me of that movie 'New Year's Eve.' Rotten Tomatoes described the movie as "shallow, sappy, and dull" with a "star-studded cast [with] no discernible purpose." Last time I checked, this is precisely describes ACTUAL New Year's Eve. 4 of 5 stars from Crawford. I can't wait for the sequel of the exact same movie with a different setting and a few different characters.

80% of Americans making New Year's resolutions fail by January 20th. Be pragmatic, friends. Resolve to drink better and start tonight with the right Champagne sparkling wine. You may think you don't like sparkling wine, but that is certainly because you've been drinking the wrong stuff. Suck it up buttercup, get to a respectable wine merchant, and buy a bottle of 'J'. If you are right, then you'll agree with me. This Russian River Valley vineyard produces fantastic sparkling wines that will earn you more street cred for the dollar than those bottles with names you can't pronounce. When you open this at your party tonight, throw out some terms like "fine, persistent bubbles" and "ripe citrus and honeysuckle." Instant respect.

And one final tip: Eat something salty with your sparkling wine. Bubbly and wedding cake don't pair well at all. About 40% of marriages end in divorce. But what if we eliminated bad pairings and Vegas weddings? That's the forward America Crawford believes in.

I've been asked to cover this Pick'em contest, so let's dig in to it. Double D (DD) saw his lead slip away earlier today, and BlitzKrieg (RK) is the new leader as I type these words. I'll tell you how he did it too, kids: By getting the most picks correct! RK is picking 70% at the moment. I did some research before this post and it appears that the most accurate picker rarely, if ever, wins this contest. 0 for the last 2. That's good news for the rest of you.

Merry/Happy Christmas/Holidays/Winter Solstice. Happy New Year (not the Chinese one, but the Maya one too, I suppose). You have a 1 of 1,500,000 chance of dying from an allergy this year. Eat, drink, and pick well. Cheers!

1/1 3:53PM commissioner update: DD is back in the lead. DW would win if he gets all his remaining picks correct.

1/1 11:33PM commissioner update: DW now leads and controls his own destiny. 

1/2 11:05PM commissioner update: Huge win by Louisville. No one picked that. DW still leads, but KP would win if he gets all his remaining picks correct. 

1/6 7:14PM commissioner update: It looks to me that DW can lock up a win tonight if Kent State victory. If Arky State wins, then DW will win with a Notre Dame victory. KP will win with a Bama victory.

1/6 11:24PM commissioner update: This will go down to the wire. DW wins with a Notre Dame victory. KP wins with a Bama victory.
 

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Last updated 1/6/13 11:24 P 

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