Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The First Week of the Football Season is Here...

...and back is our good friend Gary. In case you are searching through the scorecards and can't find him, Six Six in Shoes is now Kentucky Snowpenis Snowman.


Legengary.

The Most Insanely Complete College Football Preview Guide Anyone has Ever Given Away for Free

The Professor John Harris, of 1560 The Game in Houston, may be insane. At the very least he is fanatical about football.

For his football savantism, or whatever you decide to call it after checking out his 2010 College Football Preview, all one hundred and fifty-three pages of it, I am thankful. I'm not sure there is anything else of this quality out there available for free.

Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tebow-mania Isn't Going Away, I Guess

He was hazed and given a new haircut.



Honestly, I could care less.

I just care about what he had for breakfast and if he likes ketchup. You know, normal stuff. What is wrong with you people!?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Official 2010 Pick'em Dash Football Annual Recruitment Post

(don't be shy... send this post to your friends and people that you just met on the rail)
 

Dear Football Picking Peoples,

I don't know if you heard from ESPN or my good friend Gary, but football season is right around the corner. I'm dusting off the Pick'em Dash Football machine for another year of the most bestest football picking game on the Internets. Guaranteed or my money back.

If there is one thing I've learned about human nature in my thirty-four years on this polluted Earth, it is that people LOVE change. If you played in the past, I promise that I'll surprise you with some change. If you haven't played before, holy bleep, I will make sure you get yourself some change... mid-season or something. I'm all about the change.

Last year was the 10th season of this Pick'em contest. I can't remember the Y2K/millennium rules, but I think this August will mark the 10 year anniversary. Is that a diamond anniversary? Silver? Aluminum? This isn't my area of expertise.

My particular area of expertise is change. I'm going to change up the website (http://www.pickem-football.com). Folks, I've already started messing around with it. Change may be happening while you are reading this post! Please excuse my dust (change dust). The do-hickies, thing-a-ma-bobs, and doobers will be in place by at least Week 2. Are you a twitterererer? Follow @pickemdashfb. Use an RSS reader? Subscribe to the website feed.

I know some of you guys are like, "where do I freaking sign up?" Hold up, I'm not done. How about some actual details?

Remember when weekends had meaning and purpose? Now they will again.
  • Every week I'll email you guys and post to the website a link to the Pick'em form (Google form... simple to fill out... you can do it from your fancy wireless pocket phone).
  • For every week of NCAA football, there will be 15 games that you will choose against the spread (I set the lines).
  • For every week of NFL football, I will put every game on the Pick'em form (usually 14-16). You will choose these straight up (no line).
  • Each form usually will have some optional bonus point opportunities. Your answers to these bonus questions often are incorporated into a blog posts and the points are tallied on the side (not part of your Pick'em score) and used in the post season contests. The more points you acquire during the season, the more of an advantage you'll have in the Bowl and NFL Playoff contests. (Everything is normalized though, so don't think you can wrap up a post season contests based on your supreme wit and skill along... I'm looking at you Kevin.)
  • I'll also be giving out bonus points for weekly contest winners, people who pay their entry fee early, and some other random stuff that I'll make up along the way.
Ready to sign up yet?

Here is my promise to you:

a. Change. But also, I promise to you is that I'll deliver the following exciting games:

1. NCAA Pick'em (players will score one point per correct pick, against the spread)
2. NFL Pick’em (also one point per correct pick, straight up)
3. NCAA Bowl Pick’em Challenge (a confidence pool style game which includes all the bowl games and incorporates your accumulated bonus points from the NCAA Pick’em contest)
4. NFL Playoff Pick’em (a Vegas style wagering format which includes all playoff games where points are wagered weekly against the spread)

Four contests... over four months of meaningful life. All for the low low cost of $25.

"$25?" I know what you are thinking: “In this economy...” STOP! "In this economy" is soooo 2009. You don't have to pay me right away if that is how you roll. I just need the money by the end of the year to send to the winners. The football season is long my friends and we DO NOT have a “try before you buy policy.” If you start the season, you will be expected to pay.

So how much is $25? We play for over twenty weeks, so you can probably fish a buck a week out of a fountain somewhere or off of a Buddha at a Thai restaurant if you need to… this is a bargain.

Where does this money all go? Well what I do is invest into scratch off tickets, which usually nets… just kidding… it’s like this:
  • NCAA Pick'em: 1st Place 25% pot, 2nd Place 10% Pot
  • NFL Pick'em: 1st Place 25% pot, 2nd Place 10% Pot
  • NCAA Bowl Pick'em: 1st Place 15% pot
  • NFL Playoff Pick'em : 1st Place 15% pot
(I found this paragraph in last year's recruitment post. Copy-Paste. Score!)
Like always, I’m open to suggestions on ways to make this thing better. Hopefully all the peoples that played last year will be back in this year. Pat yourselves on the back. We have had a pretty friggin’ good group in recent years. If you are ready to commit yourself to a wild ride of Pick’em fun from September to early January, fill out the Official Pick'em Dash Football 2010 Registration Form.

If for some reason you are still on the fence AND are still reading this post (seriously, you made it this far??), I wrote a poem. When I say "I wrote a poem," what I mean is that I did a Google search for a poem, copied it, pasted it into this email, and changed a few words. Enjoy. Love, The Commish.

I'm staring at the website now,
Sweat on the palm of my hand.
Trying to work it out in my head,
And trying to understand.

You abandoned me so quickly,
And broken, I sometimes scream,
Crying out the memories;
A different one per team.

Nothing I watch without you,
Can change what I have done
And nothing I watched without you,
Can change what I've become.

No matter why you left me,
I know that I'm to blame,
Maybe if I had got on my knees
All things would be the same.

So I'm sorry for the soccer,
And hockey I have watched,
And I'm sorry for that baseball league,
I hope our trust ain't botched.

But although unheard, I'm sorry.
I did watch the Big Ten Network
Well for tonight, I'll close my eyes
And dream or Lee and Kirk.

Now as I dust off my jersey,
And have a beer or four,
I swear I smell the field turf,
And can hear the crowd roar.

I contemplated slowly,
The season that's in sight,
My family may not get it,
But picking games feels right..

So I'll take my two tens and five
I admit this is my vice.
This year I will not lose again,
Pick'em Dash Football time. NICE!.

Pick'em is back yo! Still looking for that form? CLICK HERE.